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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I don't have an eating disorder?

332 replies

NotAlwaysHungry · 12/02/2017 22:51

I make myself sick about 2-3 times a week. I know it's not the greatest habit and is no doubt very unhealthy but I only do it when I've eaten too much junk. My weight is fine and I'm otherwise very healthy.

My sister recently found out about it (long story!) and she was horrified. She now has it in her head that I have some sort of eating disorder and will die at any minute.

She told me I need to see a doctor but I've been doing this for nearly eight years now and considering I'm still healthy then I'm hardly going to suddenly drop down dead because of making myself sick a few times a week.

OP posts:
dangermouseisace · 13/02/2017 00:16

well done OP- please, make sure you DO make that appointment. Your Gp will be able to refer you on for further support, and also might want to take some blood to see if you are deficient in anything. Can your sister go with you?

In the meantime it might be worth you while seeing if there are any support groups in your area- BEAT or independent ones (google is your friend there).

Making yourself sick is exhausting and isolating. Life is much better without it.

RedSauce · 13/02/2017 00:17

"to me it is normal. It's just something I do"

"I've tried stopping and I can't"

You have an eating disorder. Your behaviour is not normal at all and it is very worrying. Please seek help.

OhfuckingShitBags · 13/02/2017 00:28

Holding virtual hands and sending Flowers for your very brave visit to the GP tomorrow.

Well done OP, you've done yourself a massive favour tonight.

lottiegarbanzo · 13/02/2017 00:29

Bulimia.

You ate two servings of korma so it would be easy to throw up, didn't you. Why not just eat a small portion instead?

You are anxious and restrictive about food. You think normal food is junk, partly because you see it in isolation, not as part of an overall diet. More, because you seem to think an overall diet should be purely and restrictively low fat, low fat and full of veg.

There's a world of difference between a diet being mostly composed of very healthy foods and solely composed of them. That difference is your abnormal need for restriction and control.

Then there's your desire to deviate from what you regard as 'right', then to purge that deviation. Both behaviours are abnormal because your idea of what is 'right' is abnormal. As is the cycle of deviation (a psychological issue) and purging.

A normal, healthy diet includes a mixture of foods, some fat, some carbs, the occasional treat. A normal psychologically healthy person doesn't 'deviate' then purge.

PlymouthMaid1 · 13/02/2017 00:33

Good luck OP .. Call the doctor first thing.

lottiegarbanzo · 13/02/2017 00:36

Oops, second 'low fat' should have been 'low carb'.

With the korma, you were never going to eat just a small portion, were you. I think that's because korma is creamy, so by it's nature 'bad food', is that right?

Interesting that you didn't talk to your BF and say korma would be too rich for you, could he consider making a lower fat curry instead. Did you know he'd think you were being oddly restrictive and want to avoid that discussion? Or did you want to gorge and purge?

SizzleSunday1 · 13/02/2017 00:39

Do you have children ?

Your relationship with food is not normal

I believe the general advise is to eat a wide variety of food and exercise

Please seek medical help

Missbohan · 13/02/2017 00:51

So you hide this from people but yet you say you don't think it is an eating disorder? I have my own food issues but I know what they are - you know what bullimia is right? I hope you get things sorted but struggling to understand how you really think this is 'normal' - i mean you seem to have been managing it ok and good your teeth are fine but i am not sure i get that you don't know it is an eating disorder. What would you say if someone else did this? Would it be news to you that it isn't the norm? I'm not being goady I just am really genuinely baffled

Amiexpectingtoomuch · 13/02/2017 00:54

Well done for taking the step to seeing your gp Flowers

TaraCarter · 13/02/2017 00:59

OP, well done for making this thread and canvassing wider opinions. The easy thing to do would have been to simply dismiss your sister's worries and stick your head in the sand. But you didn't!

You actively opened yourself to hearing other views on the subject than your own. Well done! Please build on this fantastic first step, and make that appointment, please. Making yourself sick 2-3 times a week sounds like grotesque torture. What could you possibly have done to deserve that?!

BlueKarou · 13/02/2017 01:34

Everything hat I would have said has already been said, but I just wanted to repeat the most important bit;

Well done, OP, for coming here to ask, and for deciding to call the GP in the morning. It must be very hard, realising that something that has become so normal to you is actually part of a much bigger problem. Rest assured that the GP will be able to refer you onward to people who will be able to help you address your eating disorder and take control over your dangerous habits. I wish you the very best of luck in what may not be an easy battle.

Northernlurker · 13/02/2017 08:07

Thinking of you, give the GP that call today. Don't be put off by engaged tones and receptionists. You need that appointment, go and get it.

Lovelilies · 13/02/2017 08:09

De-lurking to wish you good luck for today.
You NEED to see the gP asap.
Thinking of you Flowers

Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 13:33

Okay so I managed to get an appointment for Wednesday.

I also told DP this morning about what I've been doing and made him cry. I feel so ashamed Sad.

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 13/02/2017 13:38

Good first step, OP. Well, two good positive steps!

In the meantime, could you try and eat smaller portions of cheese pasta etc so you don't feel so overly full, and then you might not feel like you need to throw it back up? Honestly, nothing bad will happen if the occasional carb heavy meal stays in your system. Just eat a little bit of it at first, until you don't feel hungry anymore.

Good luck Flowers

MasterAvoider · 13/02/2017 13:44

Well done OP! Good luck for your appointment on Wednesday.

Try not to feel guilty. I know it's hard. I suffer from anxiety (no eating disorder though), and I'm surprised by all the irrational and sometimes self-sabotaging things I do to calm the anxiety. Medication has helped, as has therapy. I am feeling much better and less anxious.

You should be very proud of yourself for making that appointment and also for telling your partner. Good luck 💐

didthedeed · 13/02/2017 13:46

Well done for getting the appointment. Can your DP go with you? Partly for moral support, partly to stop you minimising when you get in there. Getting proper help can be very scary and it's quite usual to change your mind once you realise people are going to try and make you stop.

I remember telling my DP and being really relieved and happy that he knew because it was 'totally normal' and 'not a problem at all' so now I wouldn't have to hide it any more. Obviously it didn't quite pan out like that....

FWIW it sounds like you have bulimorexia - your 'junk food' and two helpings of dinner don't really count as a binge (unless you're not out of control when you're eating them). But purging any deviation from your strict, restricive diet is a sub-type of the most common eating disorders.

Don't feel ashamed. It's not dirty and it's not a reflection on you in any way other than to signify that you need some help. If you were sobbing uncontrollably 2/3 times a week and acting like an emotional robot the rest of the time, you'd be in a very similar situation.

I hope things work out for you

adaisychain · 13/02/2017 13:47

You've made a very brave first step by making the appointment. Wishing you all the best with it.

Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 13:47

Will the GP weigh me?

I'm 51kg and don't really look skinny so will I really need to be weighed?

OP posts:
didthedeed · 13/02/2017 13:49

Why does it matter?

And in my experience some will, some won't.

Original poster
NotAlwaysHungry · 13/02/2017 13:51

Because I don't want to be.

OP posts:
didthedeed · 13/02/2017 13:53

If you don't want to be then you can always refuse, there's nothing that says they have to weigh you.

If you are smaller than you think and they are concerned then they might try and convince you, but most Drs know that weight is normally pretty irrelevant.

AyeAmarok · 13/02/2017 14:02

Can you explain why you don't want to be weighed?

MagicMoments22 · 13/02/2017 14:12

You have an eating disorder. Your teeth might be fine now but enamel erosion takes a while. Your oesophagus will be slowly taking damage as well. Your sister means well

ChuffMuffin · 13/02/2017 14:13

A massive well done for being brave by going to talk to your doctor about it. I really hope it all goes well and you're able to take some first steps to getting this under control Flowers Smile.