To think I don't have an eating disorder?

[NotAlwaysHungry]

I make myself sick about 2-3 times a week. I know it's not the greatest habit and is no doubt very unhealthy but I only do it when I've eaten too much junk. My weight is fine and I'm otherwise very healthy.

My sister recently found out about it (long story!) and she was horrified. She now has it in her head that I have some sort of eating disorder and will die at any minute.

She told me I need to see a doctor but I've been doing this for nearly eight years now and considering I'm still healthy then I'm hardly going to suddenly drop down dead because of making myself sick a few times a week.

OP, wait, you live with your DP? And you had to sneak off to the bathroom to purge yourself while he cleaned up?

You should turn to your DP right now and tell him what you've told us in this thread.

OP overwhelmingly people have told you you have an eating disorder. Nobody is going to tel you what you're not doing is fine.

You are not fine. You have serious control issues surrounding food and you cannot stop making yourself vomit after what you perceive as bingeing.

Tell your GP exactly what you said on this thread.

nobody is going to tell you that what you're doing is fine

When you put it like that PerspicaciaTick it makes me feel so ashamed

What your classing as junk most other people are classing as normal food as part of an overall healthy diet. When you eat what you class as "bad foods" like the korma it sound like you deliberately eat massive portions because you know you will throw it up after, healthy people choose a smallish portion or have a light day like fish or salad the next day.

I eat pizza I also eat cheesy pasta but I don't throw it up I also don't feel panicky or teary because I ate it because it normal food.
What I do is the next day I eat a lighter lunch and a healthier dinner.

You are ill my darling but this thread is the first step to becoming better so don't panic, see the gp and go from there.

Yes I live with DP. He has never let on that he knows about this though.

I'm sure he loves you and would prefer for you to be free of this.

Please can we refrain from saying things that have the potential to make the OP feel very ashamed? Shame perptuates eating disorders and what we need to do is be supportive, and try to understand that it's not always easy to see a problem when we're immersed in it. It's a complex issue - it's not something OP can simply snap out of or be shamed out of.

I'm hoping that comments made were not intended to make OP feel ashamed. But to back up what PotatoSalad said, I'd just like to say there is absolutely NO shame in having an eating (or any other) disorder. It's no more shameful than any other illness and it could affect any one of us. No one is immune from MH problems just as no one is immune from the common cold or a slipped disc.

I should say that my DP thinks I'm too picky with food and thinks I need to lighten up a bit more often but he just lets me get on with it mostly.

God, the denial! Go to the doctor. Say "I have bulimia", and the doctor will take it from there.

Bedsheets that is unhelpful.

Would your DP let you go on shoving your fingers down your throat (or not, as the case may be, in which case your oesophagus might be permanently fucked)?

I'm not sure what you mean by that last post Cecilede

Pizza isn't junk food. Italy doesn't spend evenings throwing up en masse.

You said that your DP just lets you get on with being picky. Do you think he would feel the same if he knew what was actually going on?

this is actually hilarious if it wasn't so sad.you have an eating disorder.you don't have to be underweight,you don't have to be stick thin to be anorexic or over and under to have bulimia.you make yourself sick to get rid of food.THIS IS NOT F*CKING NORMAL!!I'm utterly gobsmacked I shouldn't reply because my open mouthed reaction might lead to highly mumsnet unlikable replying!!
people don't get rid of food.ever.unless they have disordered eating
you don't need toalso have all the mental stuff either to have some sort of disorder eating. you get rid of food,thats disordered in every sense.
you have stopped in eight years.disrodered!
you use sick to control you food intake.disordered!
you say you aren't ill.disordered.
this sounds like such a horrible reply and I'm really sorry.i will feel guilty and awful after and get abuse perhaps.but I'm in shock.shock.and so upset.
oh and keep being sick you will die.and being sick the trouble is you don't gt symtoms telling you it will happen.with vomiting it puts strain until your body snaps.dead.it wont give a warning it wont give a symptom or problems.good teeth or not.wont tell you what your heart can take.
bringing up food unnaturally via vomiting causes soooooooooooooooo much strain and it will just rupture.and you cant stop it.its often why deaths from eating disorder are so terribly shocking.girl and boys go on through seemingly endless shit and suddenly boom.
you need help.
please get help.please.you don't need to do this.honestly.

Probably not Cecilede.

I've already made it clear that I know it's not healthy.

Just coming on to say well done for admitting there's a problem and making a gp appointment tomorrow.
Also, speak to your DP. You will be stronger with him supporting you.

I didn't want you to feel ashamed, just to realise that the vomiting isn't a normal reaction to a lovely meal.

Okay.

Well it's late now and I'm tired.

if my post seemed harsh I'm sorry.
I'm in that state of "oh sweetie let me hug you and stop this horribl illness from forcing you to do this and think its ok.that exactly what an eating disorder does it tell you you aren't ill.that its ok."
please hun.dont ever feel you cant have food,cant keep it in.its not true.
let people help.
if you haven't taken huge offence by my bove posting feel free to talk.
I can listen kindly honestly.
I was just so shocked that something like this f*cking illness has allowed you to believe you need to do this to yourself.you don't.

Glad to see update that you will see your GP. Please do, OP!

Sleep well. Please do get a GP appointment. Take care.

I don't know if this helps anyone but you've all scared the living daylights out of me