To think I don't have an eating disorder?

[NotAlwaysHungry]

I make myself sick about 2-3 times a week. I know it's not the greatest habit and is no doubt very unhealthy but I only do it when I've eaten too much junk. My weight is fine and I'm otherwise very healthy.

My sister recently found out about it (long story!) and she was horrified. She now has it in her head that I have some sort of eating disorder and will die at any minute.

She told me I need to see a doctor but I've been doing this for nearly eight years now and considering I'm still healthy then I'm hardly going to suddenly drop down dead because of making myself sick a few times a week.

Yes you have an eating disorder. And sorry to be blunt- but yes you might just drop down dead. I had a friend who did similar to you and thought it ok. When you vomit you put yourself in danger of low potassium as your body corrects the acid loss. Low potassium can cause heart arrhythmia. She was a fit and healthy 23 year old with an undiagnosed eating disorder who dropped dead from a heart attack on a train after binging on chocolate and vomiting in the train toilet.
I realise that this is not what you want to hear but I hope it prompts you to do something about this deadly habit you have developed

Carbs and fat aren't junk OP. Carbs and fat are essential for the human body.

I have name changed for this thread. My NN is a reference to the fact that I'm not always hungry. Is not being hungry all the time a bad thing now?

I really feel for you and hope that at sometime you are able to see what you are doing is crazy enough to seek help. As you have admitted, what you would have to say to the doctor doesn't sound normal, so I do hope that eventually you get the strength to say it. Everyone has bad habits it's true but everyone also has to admit when their habits have gone too far. I eat too much junk food so it makes me fat, which is a whole different thing from I eat too much junk food so I have to be sick. Can you see the difference? Big hugs and to you

Purging can cause low potassium. I've been in hospital with a potassium level of 2. Doctors were absolutely astonished I had survived; I couldn't stand up at that point. I had long QT intervals and my heart could have stopped. I know someone who died in their sleep the same way. This is not normal. Please get help.

You're scaring me now! I don't want to die!

Not only do you have an eating disorder but you have an unhealthy attitude to food. Telling people that pasta is full of carbs and fat is basically telling people they shouldn't eat carbs. We can eat what we want - we don't have an eating disorder. You do. I actually do mean to sound this harsh. Don't preach to others what they can and can't eat but refuse to believe you are bulimic.

Yes, a lot of people have bad habits they can't stop. But that doesn't make your bad habit ok. Drinking too much damages the liver and brain and ups your chance of getting high blood pressure, having a stroke and ups chances of getting cancer. Smoking damages the airways and lungs, affects blood pressure, and ups your chance of strokes and cancer. Eating too much chocolate messes with your blood sugar levels, potentially raises your chances of tooth decay and diabetes. Controlling your weight by vomiting can seriously damage your digestive tract, your liver, teeth, your throat. It's really dangerous. As are a lot of other unhealthy coping strategies, addictions and compulsions.

Please see your GP and say something on the lines of showmepotatosalads suggestions.

I wonder what you class as 'junk' and if you didn't eat any, whether you'd still feel the compulsion to throw up?

Then get some help. It is a horrific way to die. It is scary. And even if you don't die, it is a horrible, miserable way to live.

Doesn't everybody have bad habits that they can't stop? Whether that's drinking too much, smoking, eating too much chocolate...

And anyone suffering from any of those habits would be well advised to talk to their GP about support for changing the habits.

Not normal along similar lines that taking laxatives after a big meal isn't normal

Stop eating too much junk then - then you won't need to make yourself sick?

That's an awful comment. It's like telling an anorexic to just eat something, or a depressed person to just snap out of it. Bulimia is an illness and if only it were as simple as just not eating junk.

OP, bless you, you are ill. I have struggled with this condition my whole adult life, but am mostly better now after I had CBT, which was on the NHS. Go to your GP. Hopefully you have not yet done lasting damage to your physical health but that will change if you don't stop.

I also wonder whether it affects your psychological well being as well. It did mine.

Ah okay, sorry nrft.

BY the way it is pretty heartbreaking to see how many other people have suffered or lost people :(

OP you are in total denial about this. Please seek some professional help to stop this 'habit'.

OP, the more information you give, the more obvious it is that you have a problem. Let your sister help, she wouldn't be so worried about you if she didn't care a great deal.

You could be causing health problems that you might not know about until its too late, such as loss of tooth enamel and low potassium.

Normal people eat some pizza every now and again without feeling teary or panicked and then throwing up. Normal people eat a little to much sunday lunch then eat a little less on monday accordingly without throwing up. Normal people eat vegetables and chicken and salad - and also have some treats without throwing up.
Maybe some hypnotherapy would help you? Its helping me to conquer binge-eating. Hypnotherapist looked at me and assessed that I was a normal weight with a nice figure. I then went on to tell her about the extreme bingeing and starving cycles I go through in order to stay a normal weight. I am not normal either.

I had a pizza on Thursday last week. I didn't throw it up afterwards. I had pasta last night. I didn't throw it up. Nothing you are doing with food is normal or safe op.

You need to be referred to an eating disorders team. They will work with you if you really want to work with them but you have to be prepared to engage. So yes, you need to be scared now. This is scary. Being scared is what will drive you to make the change. If you stay feeling safe whilst throwing up, you will be in danger every day that continues.

Well it depends tbh. My DP wanted to treat me yesterday so he cooked us an amazing homemade chicken korma. It was delicious and I ate two servings of it but it just felt too much on my belly so yes I went to the bathroom to make myself sick whilst he was clearing up.

Pasta and cheese are just too heavy for me.

I mostly eat things like chicken/fish salads and homemade soups the rest of the time so maybe that's why.

I'm only human and sometimes I get sick of eating vegetables and chicken/fish and soups

So you eat a restricted diet most of the time and when you eat something that isn't low calorie you make yourself vomit?

Does your DP know about your throwing up? Or do you keep it secret?

I expect they will refer you to an eating disorder service. Probably do some basic health tests.

They will take this very seriously. Because it IS serious. You have an established eating disorder. The fact you minimise your eating disorder, and are horrified at the thought of carbs and fat, indicate you have a disordered relationship with food.

I think maybe you have a niggling feeling that it isn't healthy and is a bad habit hence your post. I also think you sound pretty sane and happy with no huge issues over your body.

You have got tied up in a habit which isn't great for your body. You will weaken your oesophegal muscles and damage to your teeth is inevitable.

I have to be reminded to eat to the point it could look disordered - it is absent minded or in my DNA somehow not driven by any body issue. If I do not eat with family however I set a bad example so I do seek to be healthier to set better examples.

I recall my gran telling my ma in a hushed voice that it (Sunday lunch) was a lovely meal but she "lost it" meaning she made herself sick. Kids are perceptive and even without hearing that I knew way before then that my gran did it.

So I do get where you are coming from but there are much healthier ways to feel in control or avoid feeling bloated or to reach that feeling of equilibrium.

It is scary.

I used to do this for years, though for me it was part of a restrictive eating disorder, I didn't binge beforehand. I continued to do this long after I 'recovered' in other ways.

I'll never forgot the day I vomited blood. It was terrifying.

i won't lie, it's an ongoing problem, but the GP can help. Eating disorders are usually the way people deal with personal pain/stress. It's s way to gain control over your life. There are other, better ways. Please seek help.