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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not bring my child up with technology??

316 replies

Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 18:17

I hate seeing kids in prams holding phones or ipads. Surely children and supposed to be children. When I was younger I could play on own for hours and it was the best time of my life
My partner has a son who lives with us and although hes a teenager now there has never been a time where he is not on a pc, phone or games console. when he was smaller he would scream bloody murder if it was ever taken away from him.
Im currently pregnant and have no plans for my child to grow up like this but my family think Im mad. I just think its a lazy way to shut your kid up. I do use technology but only when necessary and I hardly used social media. I just want my child to have a real childhood instead of scaring at a screen. What do you think??

OP posts:
Buzzardbird · 12/02/2017 19:39

Yeh right.

Gowgirl · 12/02/2017 19:39

Hi gamer Grin

Original poster
Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 19:40

phones dont have a grammar checker. they spell words and I dont know how to spell them so how do I know which one would be right??

OP posts:
ReadyPlayerOne · 12/02/2017 19:41

With the greatest respect OP, the best parents are those who've yet to have their kids. It's great to have ideas of how you intend to parent, but you will no doubt make changes to your ideas as you go on.

Everything in moderation is perhaps a more realistic and fair intention to begin with. You might find that if you put too much pressure on yourself now you might very well end up in tears all day.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, birth and motherhood.

gamerchick · 12/02/2017 19:41

Hey Gowgirl fancy seeing you here Grin

ginfan · 12/02/2017 19:42

You do realise toddlers scream when anything they want is taken away from them?! Not just a phone.

Although, it's very easy to have strong opinions on what you'll do before you have a child. As many others have said, there is a happy medium which most parents manage very well.

I'd be interested to hear how smug you sound 2 years in...

Gowgirl · 12/02/2017 19:42

Strange it isn't a smoking thread Grin

BoomBoomsCousin · 12/02/2017 19:43

So in your OP you state when you were younger you could play on your own for hours and it was the best time of your life, but now you are saying you don't want to give a child a screen because you will be playing with them and entertaining them?

I think you are conflating a whole bunch of things into an ill thought out mess of "blame technology". It will do no harm to keep a baby away from technology until they are two or three. That isn't going to stop the screaming fits when they are older though. Lots of kids scream when they get told no, it isn't only over technology. You just need to work on it as you do with all socialization.

gamerchick · 12/02/2017 19:43

I know, we must be due one soon Wink

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 12/02/2017 19:44

lol im an idiot for wanting to spend with my child when their younger instead of sticking them in front of a computer screen all day. I see, what an awful person I must be, I guess everyones parents when we were younger were all idiots too

Look OP, your mistake is assuming that it's one or the other. You seem to imply that you think we're telling you YABU because we pacify our kids with tech while we sit and MN all day long. While there's a grain of truth in that Wink please don't do us the disservice of extrapolating therefore that we don't play or interact with them. Wind your neck in.

Cherrysoup · 12/02/2017 19:44

Yabu. Schools use online homework services. Communication when not with friends is largely through social networks. In 13 years' time, I imagine this will be even more so. You don't need to sit your child down with an iPad instead of communicating directly with him/her, but you can't ban technology, that's ridiculous.

BackforGood · 12/02/2017 19:46

How can you say you didn't say you were going to bring your child up without technology, when that is the actual thread title ? Confused

How can you be having a child with a man with a samll child and publically say you couldnt care less about that child ? Shock How on earth are you going to reconcile that with your partner's contact time?

Gowgirl · 12/02/2017 19:46

First nice 'pub garden' day Wink

Atenco · 12/02/2017 19:46

Criticising someone's spelling or grammar on a thread that is not about writing is the behaviour of a scoundrel and often used to try to win an argument when you have nothing better to say.

meeerkat · 12/02/2017 19:48

Maybe don't concern yourself with what other parents do and concentrate on your own kid Hmm

You sound smug and judgemental.

Technology is growing, it's not going anywhere, you will be holding your kid back by never allowing any form of technology.

dailymaillazyjournos · 12/02/2017 19:48

I think dd was one of the last generations to grow up with no technology and I do feel glad about it.

But now, I don't think it's a great idea to ban all technology. It's an important and big part of life whether we like it or not and children need to know their way around it.

I came back from London and there was a Mum with 2 toddlers. The older one couldnt sleep so had quiet time with a game on Mum's ipad. I was sat next to her and it looked appropriate for her age, interesting, fun and educational. I just can't see how that could be a bad thing. If she'd been on it the entire journey maybe not so great.

Children will be at a real disadvantage if they aren't very proficient in IT as a lot of jobs that will be in demand as they approach working age, will be heavily IT dependent I imagine.

Yes, DD did have a 'traditional' childhood but her DC won't and shouldn't imo. They need to play, to use their imaginations and they need to be technologically savvy too now. We can't go back to the old days without it impacting them negatively I don't think.

Original poster
Babyblues14 · 12/02/2017 19:49

back for good I clearly stated later that I didnt want to bring them up on it when they were babies/toddlers
and I clearly corrected the sentence that it was supposed to say partners ex about two seconds after so please read properly before you comment

OP posts:
Gowgirl · 12/02/2017 19:49

Today I have had meltdowns for:
Cutting toast in triangles
Putting shoes on
Turning off peppa pig
Don't like chicken
Hair washing
They take it in turns, they are monsters ds 1 (10) is todays favourite child.....

Paninotogo · 12/02/2017 19:49

Actually OP, there are assistive technologies that can help dyslexics. Maybe you could benefit from some of these programmes? Before you write off technology as depriving children of a childhood.

gamerchick · 12/02/2017 19:49

Yep first sniff of the sun and we're off.. I'll see you there Grin

Cinnamon2013 · 12/02/2017 19:50

Agree re: everything in moderation. I too was a pregnant with all the plans and am now a mum of two and my kids do not hmm only play with wooden toys.

Technology does have an effect on attention spans, though, and social networking has an effect on self esteem. So to insist that children and young people using technology is no big deal seems misguided

Gowgirl · 12/02/2017 19:51

Ready and waiting gamerGin

sobeyondthehills · 12/02/2017 19:51

Its the same with everything, all in moderation.

DS (4) spent an hour playing on his tablet, first time in months he has picked it up, this morning was spent having a tidy up, randomly playing snap and this afternoon was spent making paper airplanes.

You need to find a medium that works for you, but don't say never to anything. I thought I was never going to have to watch children's TV.. How I laugh at naive stupid me as I sit here watching flipping fireman sam, wondering exactly how Elvis managed to end up as a fireman

corythatwas · 12/02/2017 19:51

I brought my dd up as a toddler without even a telly. And she still screamed blue murder if you took something away from her, or because she'd finished her banana, or because she'd just thrown her toy on the floor- because that's what toddlers do.

If you can't get head around that, OP, you may struggle with parenting, with or without technology.

Devilishpyjamas · 12/02/2017 19:51

Technology gave my non-verbal son a voice aged 12 (courtesy of an anonymous mumsnetter who bought the 5k device for him).

Now he has the same app on his iPad.

I often wonder how different his life would have been if he had had access to a talker app as a toddler.

If something is a problem you just deal with it. My youngest (age 12) is currently banned from FIFA because he can't play it without losing his temper.

You need to start your kids on social media while they're still young enough to not object to you snooping imo. Gives a chance to properly educate them. My 15 year old would (rightly) hit the roof if I snooped on conversations he was having now but he didn't object at 11/12