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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DSd that she has to wash her own dishes??

71 replies

TBoz · 11/02/2017 21:40

Basically whenever I am washing up DSD will come along, take a clean glass, pour herself a glass of milk and then put the used glass back in the wAter for me then wash. She's 13 btw.

After her taking a clean glass, using it and then putting it back in water for me to wash whilst I'm washing up at least three times I've said from now on - if she uses a glass 🥃 In this time, she has to keep it aside and then wash it herself once I've finished washing up.

She's kicked off saying I'm being unfair. DH agreed a with her.

Mumsnet jury?

OP posts:
TheOtherSock · 11/02/2017 21:41

Seems a bit of a waste to do a separate extra washing-up session for one glass. Perhaps she could do more of the washing-up in general.

BarbarianMum · 11/02/2017 21:43

That seems really petty I'm afraid. I think YABU.

Cloeycat · 11/02/2017 21:45

I don't get this, you are doing dishes anyway why is it a hardship for you to do one extra glass?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 11/02/2017 21:46

I think you're being unfair. If she was leaving them in her room to fester for a week I think you'd have a point. But a glass, while you're actually doing the washing up? No that's a. Petty, and b. A waste of water.

theclick · 11/02/2017 21:46

Do you feel like she deliberately times it for when you are washing up?

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/02/2017 21:46

It sounds incredibly petty. Are there other issues? I would say that I expect a thank you, but I would do the glass if it's there.

limon · 11/02/2017 21:46

Yabu and petty. One glass isn't a massive amount of extra washing up if you're doing it already

TheOtherSock · 11/02/2017 21:46

I mean, I can see how it would be annoying if she seems to specially pick a time when you're washing up and whips away a glass you've just cleaned for her milk. I'd assume that it's something about seeing the glass out that makes her think "ooh, could have a glass of milk" that wouldn't have crossed her mind if the glasses had all been in the cupboard.

Would it be less annoying if she were doing the washing-up at least occasionally?

CheshireChat · 11/02/2017 21:46

So the glass ends being used once and then put for someone else to wash? Does she only have a drink if you're washing up, what happens the rest of the time?

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/02/2017 21:46

Does she have any chores?

TheScottishPlay · 11/02/2017 21:46

You're being mean.

Auspiciouspanda · 11/02/2017 21:47

I'm pretty sure putting the glass in the skint after they've used it is what every 13 year old does, step situation or not.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 11/02/2017 21:47

Sounds sensible to me tbh Confused she wants a drink as you happen to be washing up so drinks it quickly so the glass can be washed?

I'm not sure if you're missing something critical out, like you've just washed the other 15 glasses she gets through in a day, but from what you've posted YABU!

Love51 · 11/02/2017 21:48

'DH agreed with her'.
He can do the washing up then! Seriously, if an adult asks a kid to do a teeny bit of housework, other adults don't make it negotiable.
I'd be sharing the washing up out a bit more rather than making her wash her own cup. But I wouldn't be encouraging kids / teens to row over a reasonable request.

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing · 11/02/2017 21:48

Has she done it 3 times in one go or in total? At least she's putting it in to wash and not abandoning it elsewhere!

HardcoreLadyType · 11/02/2017 21:48

YABU.

How much effort is it to wash a glass?

EweAreHere · 11/02/2017 21:49

I think yabu.

If you're in the middle of washing up, I think you're being petty.

If she's using random glasses at other times, though, then she should quickly wash it out when she's done.

Meloncoley2 · 11/02/2017 21:49

Why not ask her to do the dishes occasionally?

Creatureofthenight · 11/02/2017 21:50

I would make her leave it on the side, but that's because I'm incredibly fussy about only washing glasses in clean water! We don't wash individual items here, they get left for the next lot of washing up, whoever ends up doing it.

DixieNormas · 11/02/2017 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OldGuard · 11/02/2017 21:52

Sounds very petty
Just wash the glass
It would not matter who drank - husband mother daughter step daughter dog - just wash the glass

Whattodo23 · 11/02/2017 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheOtherSock · 11/02/2017 21:53

I'm kind of guessing that it maybe feels a bit presumptuous to you, like you're doing a chore and she's gratuitously adding to it and dumping it back in the sink like you're staff or something… but if I'm right and that's how it feels, that's really a kind of irrational (but understandable) reaction to what is, objectively, a fairly rational thing for her to be doing.

greenworm · 11/02/2017 21:55

I think the answer is not the very specific rule you propose, but getting her to do some household chores generally on a regular basis (presuming she doesn't already).

SpongebobRoundPants · 11/02/2017 21:58

You sound like a Disney evil stepmumShock