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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be very concerned about friends weight loss and eating habits?

127 replies

FriendIsActingStrange · 11/02/2017 21:39

This time last year she was a size 14 with normal eating habits and a normal attitude to food. Then one day she suddenly decided she was going to go on a health kick. All well and gone but fast forward a year later and I'm worried she is taking it too far.

She has lost a lot of weight and she is now a size 10 and tbh looks a bit too thin through her frame. Her diet now consists of salads, jacket potatoes and she will only eat homemade food and food she has prepared herself. She will only drink water or tea except on special occasions.

AIBU to be worried? She looks so thin now and so obsessive about food Sad

OP posts:
ThatsNumberWanggg · 11/02/2017 22:00

I'm the same as pastures Used to be able to eat anything I wanted but within the past year or so I can't eat anything bread or pasta based without suffering bloating and stomach cramps. Maybe your friend has a similar issue?

Ivydalegirl · 11/02/2017 22:02

Well done to your friend she sounds healthy and has obviously worked hard. Size 10 is normal and not too thin at all. It seems whenever anybody works hard to change their weight and lifestyle there is always a 'friend' who tries to convince them they are too thin now !

omnishamblesssssssssssssss · 11/02/2017 22:04

Size 10 and eating home made food is quite normal and healthy height dependant. Size 14 probably is overweight and over eating. Avoiding processed and convenience fast food is a great thing.

AyeAmarok · 11/02/2017 22:04

5ft 5 and a size 10 counts as "too thin" now? Hmm

I'd say that's slim side of normal.

Good on her.

ForFuckSakeSusan · 11/02/2017 22:15

You say she only eats food that she has prepared herself but that can't be true if she ate a salad provided by the restaurant that you were all at...

She sounds perfectly healthy.

GinIsIn · 11/02/2017 22:19

That just sounds like she eats healthily. It's not like she's living on apples and black coffee. And a size 10 at 5'5 is perfectly healthy. Is she by any chance smaller than you now?

allthecheese · 11/02/2017 22:20

Not entirely sure why her eating habits bother you so much, what's the issue with having a salad rather than a pizza? Why does it warrant the sad face?

I would rarely eat a pizza in a restaurant. It would make me feel gross and has my entire daily calorie allowance in it. I'm a size 10 at 5 ft 5 and definitely don't have disordered eating.

I think people have lost touch with what a healthy diet and size is.

minipie · 11/02/2017 22:20

I'm guessing you are a size 14 or up yourself OP?

Softkitty2 · 11/02/2017 22:23

Are you jealous op? Nothing wrong with her diet imo.. What's wrong with a salad and water? Just because you want a pizza doesn't mean she wants one too..

Her life, her choice. In fact im jealous of her discipline.

highlandholiday · 11/02/2017 22:24

I call reverse

measles64 · 11/02/2017 22:24

Wow, I go out with friends and have salads and water, I have worked hard to lose two stone, pizza is just not worth it and wine weakens resolve, I get where your friend is coming from.

SparkleTwinkleGoldGlitter · 11/02/2017 22:28

A size 14 to size 10 doesn't sound drastic to me.

Ordering salad while everyone has pizza doesn't sound odd to me, I've done that myself not because of weight just because on that night the chicken salad sounded nice and I'm an adult so can eat what I like I ordered the salad.

Drinking tea instead of wine again I don't see the problem, when I go out I don't always have a wine sometimes I have lemonade, tonic water, sparkling water.

Not having dessert and having fruit well what's wrong with that, fruit is very tasty and refreshing.

Living on salads, jacket potatoes, and home made food sounds healthy to me Confused maybe she has changed to a more healthy way of eating as being a size 14 didn't make her feel good?

MiniCooperLover · 11/02/2017 22:32

She sounds ok and you sound a little worried that she'll end up the more attractive friend ?!? Apologies if that's not the case but salad instead of pizza if you're on a diet is not a bad thing ?!?

Hadenoughoftumble · 11/02/2017 22:36

I would be concerned if she kept dropping dress sizes and was extremely obsessive about counting calories and/or secretive about food but it doesn't sound like that's what's happening.

She sounds very healthy and you should be very happy for her! Now if only I had the willpower to adopt those habits Grin

Guitargirl · 11/02/2017 22:38

Going from a 14 to a 10 over the course of a year is hardly an extreme, drastic weight loss. She is not starving herself and it sounds as though she eats healthily and sensibly. Good for her!

TheNewMrsGeraldButler · 11/02/2017 22:42

Sounds completely normal.

I'm 5'5 and several years ago, I went from a size 14 to a size 10 through changing my eating and activity habits except I still love pizza and wine A lot of people said I'd lost too much weight but I was finally in a healthy BMI range. Nothing wrong with jacket potatoes, salad and homemade foods, sounds like a healthy balanced diet to me.

edwinbear · 11/02/2017 22:48

I did a similar thing a couple of years ago. I lost a good couple of stone by increasing my exercise, choosing 2 healthy starters when out with friends instead of a starter and main and giving the wine a miss. I lost a fair bit of weight quickly and my friends were hugely supportive and encouraged me throughout as I looked 'fabulous' because, you know, they were my friends.

ImBrian · 11/02/2017 22:55

I'm a 8/10 and 5ft 11, I'm a healthy weight for my height but I wouldn't eat pizza..ever. I think peoples idea of a healthy size has became warped.

HeCantBeSerious · 11/02/2017 23:15

I'm on the BSD. 6 weeks ago I'd have had pizza. Now it's salad with protein, certain fruits and fruit tea over cappuccino. I'm shrinking out of my clothes and have never felt better. I wouldn't ruin that by eating something I shouldn't because someone else wants me to.

YABU.

omnishamblesssssssssssssss · 11/02/2017 23:49

5'5 and size 10 is probably a BMI of 21 or so. Perfectly healthy.

CakesRUs · 11/02/2017 23:53

I wouldn't worry, she doesn't sound underweight.

BadKnee · 12/02/2017 00:02

I understand where you are coming from OP and you are not being stupid here. An obsessive interest in food, a very restricted diet, a seemingly inflexible regime - almost as if having a pizza was terrifying - all of that can indicate trouble. I am obviously projecting - I had a friend who did that - she was very ill indeed - and I do not know your friend - but I can understand what you are saying.

I hope that she is fine and is able to relax around food again soon. But no, YANBU to register your concern.

NotStoppedAllDay · 12/02/2017 00:05

Op.... maybe she's the 'normal' one and you and your fellow pizza eating friends are the ones who need to 'obsess' over your diet a bit more?

Just a thought

NotStoppedAllDay · 12/02/2017 00:06

Maybe she is following slimming world which is also cooking from scratch ..... but is healthy

MissMatchedSocks · 12/02/2017 00:15

I'm normally a little hypersensitive and overly worried about diets that sound restrictive (I'm recovering from anorexia and it panics me that anybody else might get an eating disorder. I'm fully aware that this is my issue and nobody else's though!) but your friend sounds absolutely fine even to me.

I'm a size 6-8, depending where I shop, and 5"1 and have a perfectly healthy BMI these days so I can't see how a size 10 at 5"5 would look too thin tbh. I think, like others have said, that it's the difference between how she used to look and how she now looks that make you think that whereas if you met her now for the first time then you wouldn't think she was too thin at all.