To feel uncomfortable with my new neighbour

[Sikkinis]

I'm aware that mumsnet is awash with neighbourly disputes so apologies in advance

I work from home mostly, and due to space constraints I have to work in my bedroom. The house opposite is raised slightly so their windows on the front look directly into my bedroom. This wouldn't be so bad, because the last 8 years the man who lived across the road was never visible at his windows, apart from getting on with his life (washing up)

However an older couple have now bought the house, and every day without fail I'm catching the husband looking into my bedroom window. At first I ignored it, just a downside of being overlooked, but I've started noticing him doing it with all the lights off, and sometimes he jumps when he sees me noticing him. He also only does it when his wife is out.

I've moved my desk so I now face the wall but I don't want to have to keep the curtains shut all day. AIBU to feel uncomfortable with this? Is there anything I can do?

I love it when people in their twenties think that 50-something is old.

Thirty years goes by in a flash and one day you too are a disgusting old perve just because you're looking out of your window.

Then if he says anything he will be admitting he is looking at you. Or stare back at him.

I suggest the sign too. Or speak to him and just say in a confident, loud voice 'Please stop looking into my bedroom. Thank you.'

Hide under the sill and jump up.

Net curtains are the way to go. You can still see out, but people can't see in (unless you put the light on).

Neep

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe I've no idea what his situation is, but his wife is often out and he is home.

I'm not saying he's a "disgusting old perve" and I fully appreciate that people look out of their windows, but I see him doing it every day, and to be standing there with the lights off and jumping when he sees me (he is not surprised at my presence- because he can see I'm there- he is surprised at me noticing!) it just seems a bit odd to me, and I feel weird about it

Why is his age relevant?

If it was me, I'd get the most lovely window dressings I could for my room, sure stop him looking in, but make it so you can not only see out but you think the window treatment is far more attractive than it was. Take away his influence by not seeing it as shutting him out, but by making that area of your room so much more attractive for yourself.

My husband is in his 50s. His favourite hobby is to stare at 20-something women when I am out. He is particularly turned on by staring at fully-clothed ones sitting at a desk with their back to him.

It's like a pervy game of grandmother's footsteps

Put some fucking blinds up.

50s is elderly now is iot!!!!

It's the fact that he is standing in a darkened room looking at the OP, and jumping if she glances over and catches his eye that makes me incline towards a less-than-innocent explanation for this man's behaviour.

I think a notice is a good idea - "STOP PERVING AT ME!" might do the trick.

I put up vertical blinds in my kitchen window to stop the neighbours staring in. At the mess.

Sorry to have caused any offence by saying "older" I just mean that they are older than me, and older than the man who lived there before iyswim. I also think it does matter if he is looking in a dodgy way, that he is at least 25 years my senior.

get some decorative film on the windows-theres a 10% discount code atm 'FEB17' with Purlfrost who I've ordered from before.

limited Pervy grandmother's footsteps.

All jokes aside, put up nets and he'll get the hint and should be embarrassed if he has any shame. You shouldn't have to but there you are.

This is why I have voile panels on my window - everyone on this street is nosy old woman (or man - equal opportunity and all that) .

E.g. When I took the voile panels down to wash the old woman across the road and 5 houses along knocked my door to compliment a picture that was hung in my back room. as it hadn't been there the last time I took the nets down!

Now if the voile is down the curtains are drawn .

Thanks Monkeypuzzle32 I'm having a look at this stuff now

Considering he lives in a house that probably has many windows ... and he only stares out of his bedroom window at you when his wife isn't home ... he is probably doing this on purpose.

Yick.

I would tell him off and that you're going to mention it to his wife if he doesn't get a life and knock it off.

Creep.

I feel it's relevant that he is much older (50s) because I am in my early twenties.

You haven't answered why you think his age is relevant, OP.

Frankly I find your assumption that 'much older' people are more likely to want to stare at you for insalubrious reasons highly fucking offensive.

If he was a 25 year old hottie staring at you it wouldn't be ok either.

Clearly the OP is unnerved by this. She mentions the age as she feels it is relevant. She mentions the wife is out as he wouldn't / doesn't do it when she's in. He jumps when he looks at her as he's caught out.

Stop picking holes. Stop accusing the OP of being ageist. She feels a man is staring at her for non justifiable reasons and it's unsettling her. How about you take that at face value and give the OP some support.

You're in your early twenties but have been workin from home enjoying not being looked at for 8 years...ok.

Get some blinds and stop obsessing

I also think it does matter if he is looking in a dodgy way, that he is at
least 25 years my senior.

But why??! What would you do if he was in his twenties? Show him your tits?