To be annoyed by the delivery man?

[dontpullyourbrotherswilly]

I know I am BU actually but still feel annoyed!
The delivery man (who has been delivering parcels here for a while) yesterday decided to address me by my first name.
Why? I don't know your name why the bloody heck should you address me by my first name (or any name, but the use of first name by strangers always grates me)?! To me delivery situation is very simple- no need to use anyone's name (unless id required for passport or similar). Not saying I'm usually rude, I obviously thank the person and sometimes there's comments about weather etc that's quite usual i think.
Then he came back today- firsty he rang the doorbell and immediately banged on the door which is frustrating as LO napping but obviously he wouldn't have known that.
Then he told me i look tired today !
Since when is it ok for a virtual stranger to tell you that you look crap basically??!?
Makes me irrationally angry right now!

Please tell me I'm being ridiculous and how would you react in similar situations??
Next time hold out my hand and say " nice to meet you and your name is?"
Or
"You look shit too, thanks!"

I'm just about done with my unreasonable rant!

*Why then do many organisations ask what one's preference is? Why bother if it is the "established norm"

Same question to you! Why bother to ask if yours is the established norm?

I can do this all day

I had a plumber in my house the other day. He called me 'mate' and he used the loo. Servants nowadays

(He could have called me Tassel Tits if he'd wanted because he was very efficient and did a brilliant job)

God, some people are awful.

*Why then do many organisations ask what one's preference is? Why bother if it is the "established norm"

Same question to you! Why bother to ask if yours is the established norm?

Oh dearie me. You are one tieing yourself up in knots here. You are the one claiming it's the norm. And you still don't seem to grasp the point about the imbalance of only one party knowing the other's name.

@meganorks

Your comment that I addressed myself in the third person is nonsensical. If you’d read the post I quoted you’d have realised that, and perhaps not been so rude.

I accept your apology.

Mmmmm. The working classes are certainly getting uppity these days. It all went downhill when they stopped wearing caps that they could doff with.

Get. Over. Yourselves.

Bloody first world problems.

You're being completely ridiculous! Please do ring the company and report him for using your first name and demand to know his name and address. The come back on here and tell us what they said.

Oh dearie me. You are one tieing yourself up in knots here. You are the one claiming it's the norm

As are you, from the opposite stance. Are you not following? You said its the norm to call someone Mrs X or whatever, and then offer as proof that companies ask which they should use, which makes zero sense.

And you still don't seem to grasp the point about the imbalance of only one party knowing the other's name

I understand your point (I said that repeatedly). Why not just ask the dudes name, if that is the sticking point? Or as I said, shop at Ocado and they will text you the name in advance!

Don't yabvvu regarding the delivery man calling your name, so what! Its your name is it not! But the other comment about looking tired, is a bit personal. In fact I was in the taxi, and this driver said, what's wrong with your eyes. For the record, I forgot my glasses, and was squinting a bit, you just don't say things like that.

YABU.

Poor delivery man (if he knows how you feel) who is just trying to reach out to people. Maybe next time he should just leave your stuff by the door and don't bother knocking your door.

OP YANBU. This isn't about someone "knowing their place", it's about someone you don't know feeling that it's okay to make such a personal remark. It is rude and unwelcome. Surely we are all entitled to say when someone's behaviour makes us feel uncomfortable? And that level of comfort/discomfort is a very personal/subjective issue.

About the use of your name, I can see why other posters here have said "so what?" because that in itself can seem a non-issue. However, coupled with the personal remarks it would make me feel that this person was assuming a familiarity with me that doesn't exist.

Working from home, I have regular deliveries to my home address using a variety of couriers. Of course, exchanging a few pleasantries (weather etc usually) is fine and is good manners, IMO. However, I did have an awful situation with one courier who would make personal remarks about my appearance which made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. For a long time I told myself I was being ridiculous to be upset by it but it got to the stage where I dreaded answering the door and began to feel like a prisoner in my own home. This man clearly felt that he "knew" me when in fact his only knowledge of me was my name and address. Without going into detail here, the situation escalated to the extent that he would also approach me like a close friend when he saw me out & about and called at my home without business reason to do so.

Now, I'm not saying that your courier is going to go all stalker-ish on you and clearly my situation is not an every-day occurrence where women should be fearful of couriers!! However, OP my advice to you is to confront him directly if he makes any further comments to you. Be blunt. Don't worry about causing offence. Just state clearly that his comments are inappropriate and you don't want to hear them. He will probably insist that he's just being friendly but just repeat firmly that his comments on your personal appearance are unwelcome. This was the advice given to me by the Police, btw, who told me that the comments alone were a form of harassment.

I live in a place where elders are still greeted with a formal form of hello. It isn't abiut being snobby, it is abiut showing respect for the people around you. Just because you use respectful titles and greetings doesn't preclude friendliness.

I understand your point (I said that repeatedly). Why not just ask the dudes name, if that is the sticking point? Or as I said, shop at Ocado and they will text you the name in advance!

The whooshing noise is you missing the point.

However, coupled with the personal remarks it would make me feel that this person was assuming a familiarity with me that doesn't exist

Can you really not see this ? Apparently not.

The comment about shopping at Ocado is beyond pointless.

God its painful.

It's terrible for someone to use your first name when you don't know there's, suggesting you discover their name is ridiculous? Righto.

And can I really not see a point that you have only just grabbed onto, like a drowning woman, now that your original point is shown to be not only crazy but pretty rude too? Sure dear. Nice cup of tea and sit down for you.

I literally couldn't care less personally - he delivers my parcel, i get my parcel. Means to an end. Sounds like he was just trying to be nice. I did have a delivery driver recently call me 'Madam' and i thought shit why does he feel he needs to be so formal - maybe someone had called head office to tell him to know his place and not try to be friendly. I don't see that your driver did any harm or why it matters - it's a one minute conversation. He probably never thought of it again. And if i was you i would also have forgotten it straight away and got on with my day. Such a small thing. YABVU.