To be annoyed by the delivery man?

[dontpullyourbrotherswilly]

I know I am BU actually but still feel annoyed!
The delivery man (who has been delivering parcels here for a while) yesterday decided to address me by my first name.
Why? I don't know your name why the bloody heck should you address me by my first name (or any name, but the use of first name by strangers always grates me)?! To me delivery situation is very simple- no need to use anyone's name (unless id required for passport or similar). Not saying I'm usually rude, I obviously thank the person and sometimes there's comments about weather etc that's quite usual i think.
Then he came back today- firsty he rang the doorbell and immediately banged on the door which is frustrating as LO napping but obviously he wouldn't have known that.
Then he told me i look tired today !
Since when is it ok for a virtual stranger to tell you that you look crap basically??!?
Makes me irrationally angry right now!

Please tell me I'm being ridiculous and how would you react in similar situations??
Next time hold out my hand and say " nice to meet you and your name is?"
Or
"You look shit too, thanks!"

I'm just about done with my unreasonable rant!

I have never called myself Mrs XXX. It annoys me when people do. I am just YYYY XXX to everyone.

What pisses me off more is when companies like net a porter make you chose a title. I am not Mrs, miss or ms , I am just YYYY XXX to the delivery man or the prime minister (not this one I might add).

I tend to put NA in the title box if it is free text and yes I have had companies contact me as NA XXX. If I have to chose then I select the most outlandish from the list. I prefer companies where titles are optional.

I don't see it as being unfriendly, just respectful, and it works both ways. The greeting, smile, please and thank you, pleasant tone of voice, meet their eyes when you speak to someone whatever role they're in, are always essential. You can rely on whenever DPD or Yodel send you a text saying Fred or Sam will deliver your package between such and such times, that the driver's name isn't Fred or Sam.

Would you immediately be on first name terms with the arse who parked in your allocated parking spot when you got home from work shattered at 8pm? Noooo I'm not stirring....

Just being friendly.

Saying a polite hello to someone using their name, when you have reason to know their name, is not inappropriate behaviour

Yes it is when the name of the person being "polite" is not known to the person who is supposed to benefit from this "politeness"

It is really impolite to address someone (especially someone who is paying for your services) by their first name without being invited to do so, yes

If somebody addresses me as Mrs X, I will always invite them to use my first name, but doing that off the bat is such poor manners.

I agree. Very poor manners.

Oh and any of you who have had to drag that hackneyed and tedious expression "pearl clutching" in to this to try to prove your point that the OP is being unreasonable- it doesn't work. It just makes you look lacking in imagination.

I think that if I was upset by this kind of thing, I wouldn't order stuff that needed to be delivered.

I read the OP thinking it was a joke but apparently not. I struggle to understand how anyone could be so tightly wound that this would be anything more than a minor annoyance at worst.

Apparently not. There are actually real sticklers out there who want service people to know their place.

Not in my world thankfully.

I'm torn on this one. On one hand I think yabu as he is just making small talk and being friendly.

On the other hand, like one pp stated, when on the phone and they ask "can I call you ......." I always refuse. I am Mr SSD.

So a difficult one!

I literally feel like someone has created a 'if Downton Abbey characters had mumsnet' thread...except it's real

Thank you Lass

Yes it is when the name of the person being "polite" is not known to the person who is supposed to benefit from this "politeness"

Don't we all benefit from politeness? And only people who have been introduced to one are allowed to say hello? It's all a bit "know your place, servant" isn't it?

BTW, what is "polite" as opposed to polite.

It certainly isn't about "service people knowing their place". wtf?!?
I was annoyed because it felt uncomfortable for me and intrusive in a way.
A person that you don't know unexpectedly calls you by your first name and tells you you look tired. Honestly how many of you actually would like that?
Forget about the " service " thing for a moment because it really isn't about that. I'm not a pearl clutching madam, i was a "service person" until not so long ago, not that it matters.

There are actually real sticklers out there who want service people to know their place

The fact you think this is about "service people knowing their place" shows you are missing the point quite spectacularly.

It's NOT about service people knowing their place? What else could this mean then:

It is really impolite to address someone (especially someone who is paying for your services) by their first name without being invited to do so, yes

?

I was annoyed because it felt uncomfortable for me and intrusive in a way
A person that you don't know unexpectedly calls you by your first name and tells you you look tired

I'm amazed any one needed this to be spelt out but apparently there are.

Telling you look tired I can agree with. But we're focusing now of the ridiculous notion that service people are banned from using your name, because that is the more outlandish and unreasonable part of the post.
Did you need that spelling out?

NarkyMcDinkyChops

It's NOT about service people knowing their place? What else could this mean then:

It is really impolite to address someone (especially someone who is paying for your services) by their first name without being invited to do so, yes

It is really impolite to address someone by their first name without being invited to do so

Works equally well without the qualifier. It's also really impolite in this situation where only 1 party knows the other's name.

I deliver things. If I ring the bell but don't hear it (often you can hear the bell from outside) then I always give a knock too as so many people have doorbells that don't work. I appreciate that might annoy some people but it saves me time hanging around on doorsteps unsure whether I've made myself heard.

It does work well without the qualifier, but you can't just remove the qualifier as if it wasn't there to make a specific point about particularly service people knowing their place.

And many would disagree with the sentiment entirely anyway, considering we're no longer living in the 1950's......

But we're focusing now of the ridiculous notion that service people are banned from using your name, because that is the more outlandish and unreasonable part of the post
Did you need that spelling out?

Well firstly you are completely making up "the notion that service people are banned from using " the OP's name.

Secondly you are completely missing the point that it is not polite or good manners for any one to start calling a person by their first name when the name of the person doing so is not known by the other party.

I don't mind the verbal interaction but am about the consultant hugging a PP. that's beyond inappropriate if they do it to everyone. And staggeringly unprofessional.

And many would disagree with the sentiment entirely anyway, considering we're no longer living in the 1950's......

What is that supposed to prove?

There has been a decline in good manners since the 50s? The mere passage of time does not mean that everything now is better than then.

What constitutes "good manners" changes over time. It used to be bad manners to call a lady by her first name without being invited to do so, now it is not considered bad manners by anyone comfortably living in the 21st century. It is the norm.

Still missing the point. Narky

It is not good manners to unilaterally start using someone else's first name in a situation where that person does not know your name (any part of your name)

I don't mind the verbal interaction but am about the consultant hugging a PP. that's beyond inappropriate if they do it to everyone. And staggeringly unprofessional.

'Staggeringly unprofessional' ?- when you are dealing with someone who has aggressive cancer and is going through some pretty vile and destructive treatment, someone who you have worked your hardest to save when they were in IC with sepsis and nearly died, who after eight years you still see regularly and feel joy at the fact that you have helped that person have eight more years of life than nature would have allowed them and are still helping them live with the devastating effects of cancer treatment so they can have the best life possible?

I call that staggeringly humane and decent - my oncologist is a wonderful person, I owe him everything and guess what ? (this will make you tie your knickers in a gordian knot) all the people in the oncology department - from the highest consultant, to the nurses the volunteers, the patients all call each other by their first names. If I'm discussing my chances of living or dying - I want to talk to Daniel, not Mr. Pompous Consultant.

So pleased that when it matters my life has been filled with friendly people who know what really matters in life is human beings being kind to each other, and don't get hysterical about the use of first names.

How very very sad that you find a HCP showing humanity and kindness to a very sick patient, unprofessional.