being called mum by nurses in hospital

[thecatsarecrazy]

I know its only a small thing and its probably because I've been here to long but the nurses calling me "mum" I'm not your mum, would it be so hard to learn my name? Has this annoyed anyone else?

I had it in scbu and I hated it as I couldn't have felt less like a mum.

beanz your post reminded me that not only does our vet refer to me as 'Mommy' but the cat as 'baby'.

'The baby is doing very well today, but you need to give the baby more canned food'.

The 'baby' meanwhile is glaring and snarling vigorously at the poor vet tech. attempting to take a rectal temperature, and is acting more like a fur covered velociraptor than a baby.

I agree with Writerwannabe83. Staff should always introduce themselves and check who you are. Patients names are often up on the wall by the bed. You could always put your name up there. But patients/clients should always have a named nurse for every shift who should see everyone they are caring for at the beginning of a shift. When my mother was in hospital recently everyone who came to see her introduced themselves. If they didn't I introduced myself and asked who they where. Doctors were especially bad at this.

Lord yes its irritating. I find it more so under stressful situations with my baby. See also: baby doctor.

I have been called worse things

I think it's hard sometimes for nurses to learn everyone's names.
I am terrible at names - takes me so long to learn them.

My son was in hospital for just over a week with an infection and I can't even remember what I got called then!

I get that from teachers at school, they call me mum but it's probably because they have maybe only seen my name a handful of times and have 25+ other kids parents to learn too.
Doesn't bother me, find it quiet funny. There's one teacher who has had both my kids now and I'm pretty sure she does know my name now (and deff DH as he used to stay and help out when he was out of work) but still calls me mum and DH dad.

YA(definitely)NBU in my view. Your name should be on the notes and it's a matter of common courtesy and care to use your name. I wonder, if it was a man in your position if he would be called "dad"! I very much doubt it, but women are expected to lose their identity by first of all becoming wives and then becoming mothers!! Sexist and unacceptable!

Give them a break, they are so busy and must see so many patients. to me, the care given is all I care about. My DD was in for a week when she was 4 and I couldn't have given a toss whether they called me mum or not so long as they did their job and they did. They were fabulous.

I hope your son is home and well soon

I found it weird to be called "mum" when I went into hospital with problems with my 1st pregnancy. Kept thinking "but I may never be a mum". I hated it. (Pregnancy turned out ok)

Agree with all those saying just don't use a name at all, especially when it's actively strange to insert "mum".

Glad things are better for you, OP

I think it's supposed to be 'cosy' and fri ndly, but to quite a few people, addressing anyone as 'mum', unless it's your own mother, is just rude.

It's not just with kids, either. Even when she had dementia my elderly mother really hated anyone referring to her as 'mum' when they were talking to me over her head. I don't know why they couldn't at least say, 'your mum' or 'your mother', let alone her name, when they knew it perfectly well.
We had never called her 'mum' anyway. She hated it - thought it sounded fat.

I've spent lots of time in hospitals with my son. I haven't minded exactly when they've callee me "mum", but I really appreciated it when they've called me by my name. In one hospital I was given a lanyard with my name on it.

Thinking of you and your beautiful boy, being in hospital with your child is an awful experience.

I think you're over thinking it a tad. Much as you don't like it, that will be your default name whenever you are in an environment where there are lots of children besides your own. Now, whenever I email nursery I just sign off with my daughters name and the word mum, so in a way it's now my surname🤣

YANBU to have a preference re what ppl call you.

YWBU to expect ppl caring for a child in hospital to be more interested in you and your preferences than your child and their care.

Not really a fan of threads complaining about HCPs over small insignificant things ATM given how the NHS is about to potentially be destroyed by the tories.

I hate being called 'Mum' by healthcare professionals, but I don't expect them to learn my name. Just not using a name at all would be fine. Say 'you' when talking to me and 'X's Mum' if you have to talk about me in front of me. Call me what you like if you're talking about me and I'm not there to hear it.

Agree about 'baby doctor' as well. The first time a paediatrician said it to me I was really confused and thought he was a medical student or something.

Offred I agree re Tory bastards, but I think you're being a little unfair saying OP (and others) care MORE about what they're called than their child's care, just because that's what this thread is about.
On my son's most recent hospital admission I was pretty stressed about having a very heavy painful period, and due to having to stay by his side constantly I found it hard to wash, change clothes etc. That doesn't mean I cared more about myself than him, but it was an entirely valid concern.

Hope your baby is okay xx

Or, as a slightly more relevant anecdote, I was quite perturbed by three paediatricians dismissing a concern that I had. It turned out that I was right to be concerned and he needed urgent attention, but that doesn't mean I am against all medical staff. They've saved my son's life multiple times but that doesn't mean I can never have a legitimate issue with them.

YRBU - when my son was in hospital I was mum (it must be hard enough to try and remember all the different patient names let alone try and remember the visitors names on top) and to them and your child you are mum. I can't see what your issue is sorry 😐

Actually I have problem being called 'Mum' in hospital by nurses. I understand they can't remember everyone's name and at least it's a respectful title.

What I couldn't stand was being called 'petal' or 'flower' by anyone especially someone young enough to be my daughter! I'm a professional educated woman. I had breast cancer. I'd already lost control of my life and being called 'petal' and 'flower' by a young nurse really was the final straw. I accept she wouldn't remember by name but there was really no need to call me anything once my details on the form had been established.

Very unreasonable!
I've worked as a nurse and Midwife in the NHS it's relentless!
When I had my twins I was critical of really awful postnatal care but also extremely grateful for amazing antenatal care and the really amazing care that my poorly twin had in 3 hospitals in London. Get over yourself and imagine having a poorly child in the US or Syria!!
I've been called "twin Mummy" plus lots over twee variations but I'm grateful that both my two are healthy thanks to an overworked and underfunded system

I'm a healthcare professional and I also dislike being referred to as 'Mum' when my children are at an health appointment or in hospital. I've also never referred to parents as Mum/Dad. If there's an issue with remembering names than personally I'd prefer Mr/Mrs/Dr/etc x.

Names do matter, as highlighted by Kate Granger's 'hello my name' is campaign. Staff introducing themselves/ourselves by name and role and asking how patients and carers prefer to be addressed should be pretty standard.

I hate it too. I think it's a bit reductive. Miss, or madam, or even hey you would be better IMO.

I work with children and do this all the time. I always know the children's names but I really can't manage the parents too unless I've worked with them for a while. So it's "and now if I can ask you a few questions mum?" to the mother. Rather that than call her by the wrong name by accident or offend someone by incorrectly assuming their surname is the same as the child's. I could spend the two minutes before I see the child learning the names of the extended family - or I could spend that time researching useful information like the patient's history etc.

I'm usually terrible with names, so being called "mum" doesn't upset me in the least.
Just as long as the doctors and nurses don't expect me to remember their names. I have enough trouble telling the receptionists which doctor I have an appointment to.