Massive room for 3yo -AIBU

[funkky]

Just after some advice and to get people's thoughts.
Scenario: 4 bedroom house and two Massive bedrooms, one tiny bedroom and study.
I currently have a ds in the tiny room and he is 3, and a dd 3 months old in cot in the master bedroom with Us.
I think both kids should share the second big room till they are around 10? ish. To help them bond and mainly because I can't imagine ds all there by himself at this age in the massive room. When they are older, dd can move to tiny room while ds retains big room.
Dh thinks it's not worth the hassle and to just put 3 yo in big room now and baby by herself in small room when we move her at 6 months. He also thinks bedtimes will be easier if they are apart than together plus not keen cause they are different sexes??

This is more a what do people do tbh as if they were both the same sex, we both agree they would definitely be sharing the big room. It really is massive even bigger than our master bedroom and if we ever have guests stay over, they will have to share with ds but at least we can have a spare room for guests if they both share? AIBU?

I'd have them in the same room if it's huge. We had a 4 bed before we moved and they each had a bedroom but almost always ended up in the same room anyway. Even now they're 10 and 7 (girl and boy) they'll share a room every now and then.

Have to agree that just because DS is the older out throw shouldn't be the deciding factor on which bedroom he gets. My parents did this with my older db and we moved 5/6 time and every time he got the bigger room because he was the oldest. Really wasn't fair and I felt it big time.

If you could rearrange the rooms so the sizes where more even I would do this. But I would spilt them personally.

We have this. Ds2 has had smaller room from 6 months to 2yrs. Ds1 had the big room from age 2-4.5. Now they are swapping because Ds1 needs more privacy for his grown up Lego and the tiny room is in the loft where his little brother is less likely to invade.
The older one isn't entitled to a bigger room just because of his/her age.

My older 2 boys have a room each of exactly the same size. We had a much bigger spare room with 2 single beds in for guests. Then 6 years later had a 3rd child. We put him in the spare room. So he is the youngest and in the biggest room. Maybe it's not fair, but his room is next to ours, whereas older 2 are the other end of the house. If I have to get up to him in the night he's nearer, plus the older 2 can't hear us through the wall and we can't hear them as we all go to bed later. The youngest also has come into our room when we have visitors. I'd rather a 7 year old on my floor when guests stay than a 16 year old.
It works for us. The older 2 have never asked to move rooms. I don't think they'd want to be next to us anyway.

Dd 5 and ds 18months share. Its ok, have bunk beds ready for when Ds grows out of his cot. Dd is very patient and generous with her things. We will partition the rlom at some point, expecting it to cost £1'500.00. If your room is huge could you split it?

One gets the study, one gets tiny room then use massive bedroom as a playroom/spare bedroom with a sofa bed. Or use massive bedroom as study/guest bedroom. Or plan to move to a house with a better share of rooms before they hit eight. A girl over seven is not going to want to share with a ten year old boy, sorry.

I have a dd 3 and ds 18mnths and they currently share. We have enough bedrooms but they sleep so much better in the same room. I was worried ds would wake dd as he's been a terrible sleeper but he hasn't yet, best thing I did putting them in together

We have more than enough spare rooms but I have always made my children share - I think it's good that they get used to sharing. We live with other people - the younger they learn that, the better.

We rent so had a few houses over the years and lots of different sleeping arrangements that suited us then and the house layout. My DC (same sex 3yr age gap) shared a room from 3&6 until 8&11.This decision was made after moving into a house with a loft conversion. Previously to that the little one had a toddler bed in a smallish box room, big one had a big room and 2nd reception was a playroom (downstairs)

After moving our new house had two large doubles, 1 tiny box and a loft conversion. This room had the staircase in the middle and a nock on each side of the staircase for two beds so they shared but we're separated by the staircase. The 2 large bedroom was made into a playroom and the tiny room was made into a dressing room as the sloping ceiling in the loft made clothes storage tricky. We moved the oldest into the "playroom" and turned it back into a bedroom when she was at the end of y6.

A few months later we had to move (house being sold) and had to downsize to a regular 3 bed semi. However the 3rd bedroom was bigger than our previous box rooms. As my eldest had by this point moved away from toys and was more into tech she/we decided she should have the smallest room as her sister still had lots of toys and needed the bigger room to store them.

She actually prefers the smaller room as it's more cosy and she was happy as she finally got her much wanted desk so she could have her laptop in her room.

I wouldn't worry to much about who has what room and when, just see how things go and be prepared to be flexible. Different ages & stages mean you might need to swap things about.

Maybe if there is a few years difference in age oldest can have large room till he leaves home for uni and then daughter can have big room. Either that or split big room into two equal size rooms.

Both mine and my DH's parents had the smallest rooms while we were growing up. I've also seen it at my friend's houses when I was younger. Lots of parents think it's more important for their children to have more room to play and keep their toys than for the parents to have the biggest room. Not unusual at all.

I also think it's unfair that your son should have the biggest room, girls often need more space so I don't think that's something you should decide now! And sharing until 10 is when girls are commonly starting their periods at 8 or 9 now, and boys experiencing the onset of puberty at a younger age. It would be both mortifying and inappropriate for them to share at that time.

We had our two in separate (double) rooms. They moved in together and now share the bigger room in bunks beds, and the boy uses his own room as a dressing room. It leads to friction as DS is a morning person and DD definitely is not, but on the whole they prefer to be together and DS definitely sleeps better. I think that while they're small, they definitely prefer company. You can worry about room sizes in 8 or 9 years,

The house i grew up in is a 3 bedroom, more like a 2.5 really.
My sister had the second bedroom which is double bed sized room, and as a baby/toddler i had the small room, which literally fits a single bed taking up half the room, you can just fit in a desk and wardrobe with a foot and a half wide gap between front of wardrobe/desk and the bed. When i got to 2/3 and time to graduate to an actual bed i shared the big room with sister (we loved it) and small room was made a play room where all our toys were kept. We shared until i was about 8 and sister (10 or 11) decided she wanted her own space and asked to move into the small room. I got bunk beds where the top bunk is a single bed and bottom bunk is a futon sofa that pulls out in to a double. I always slept on the bottom, either as a sofa or pulled out as a bed, because i found it comfier and hated the ladders because they were metal and hurt my feet (had pipe insulation put round them at one point).
I'd regularly be woken in the night to the gentle swaying and creaking of the bed frame as my sister snuck in and got in the top bunk. She spent at least 3 or 4 nights a week in my top bunk, up until she was 13 or 14. Even then occasionally i'd wake to find her in there.

I'd honestly have both kids share the big room (you could "split" the room in half by painting the 2 halves different colours or different themes so they have their own defined half so they feel like they have their own space) and then let nature take its course and see which one comes to you first and requests making the smaller room into their own room. Try to keep some of the wardrobes or storage for them in the big room so they don't have as much clutter making it feel smaller to maximise the space.

I would keep the 3mo in the master bedroom for a while longer until elder child is 4, then put a high sleeper in the tiny room with cot-bed underneath and no other stuff - bedroom for both kids but a toy-free zone as it is just for sleeping not playing. The other room should then be fitted out with a really good quality sofa bed so that it can be converted to a comfy guest bedroom when needed, with one wall at least fully given over to toy storage and when you don't have guests it us a shared play room/den/venue for bedtime stories.

Once youngest doesn't need cot bars any more swap the high-sleeper cot combo for bunk beds.

When they start being too old to share definitely move a wall to make two even-sized rooms

I think that's weird. Children getting their own space is great, if that's an option. My son is my first born and got the bigger room, my daughter got the smaller room. My son always had all the toys in his room and it was on the understanding that they both play nicely together in his room as it was also both of their play room. If he ever got uppity about DD being in 'his' room, we gave him the option of swapping to the smaller room. They have an amazing relationship, love playing together, but equally love going to their separate rooms for reading time and sleeping at night. On holidays when they share a room, it's fun and novel for them, but they definitely don't go to bed as nicely as at home.
If you have the space, I see no reason why you wouldn't want to spread out. This is coming from somewhere who always shared a room growing up by the way.

Four is not the recommended age for a high sleeper.