Massive room for 3yo -AIBU

[funkky]

Just after some advice and to get people's thoughts.
Scenario: 4 bedroom house and two Massive bedrooms, one tiny bedroom and study.
I currently have a ds in the tiny room and he is 3, and a dd 3 months old in cot in the master bedroom with Us.
I think both kids should share the second big room till they are around 10? ish. To help them bond and mainly because I can't imagine ds all there by himself at this age in the massive room. When they are older, dd can move to tiny room while ds retains big room.
Dh thinks it's not worth the hassle and to just put 3 yo in big room now and baby by herself in small room when we move her at 6 months. He also thinks bedtimes will be easier if they are apart than together plus not keen cause they are different sexes??

This is more a what do people do tbh as if they were both the same sex, we both agree they would definitely be sharing the big room. It really is massive even bigger than our master bedroom and if we ever have guests stay over, they will have to share with ds but at least we can have a spare room for guests if they both share? AIBU?

I have to laugh at the idea of the parents getting the small room (where it's likely that you can put a double bed) and the dcs get the two double bedrooms.

Only on MN.....

I would, Smurf, primarily because that's fair but also because children often spend more time in their rooms.

I wouldn't expect a ten year old to share with a sibling of the opposite sex - how embarrassing.

I would put two in together in the small room and make the big one a shared play space, personally.

Then when they were older, I might move one into the study, and keep the big room as a shared chill out space/homework room/guest room/study.

Mine are the same sex, and have always shared. We have two spare bedrooms, but they prefer being together. I find it generally has helped bedtimes rather than the other way round. They always had a shared bedtime story, and now they are older, they will sit companionably and read at bedtime.
I expect at some point they will want their own space, maybe - although because we do have enough rooms for one each, it is easy for anyone to get a bit of space in the house whenever they need it, so perhaps the need for "own space" is less acute.

I think they need separate rooms if you can. How you split them out is up to you.

I'd put them in together until one (probably the oldest) wants to move so badly they'll take the smaller room. Older kids don't need so much playing space anyway.

though ideally moving walls at the point they want their own rooms is the best solution.

When I was a kid my older brother had the massive room and I had the tiny box room. It lasted for over a decade until we moved. I was really resentful and it still annoys me sometimes :). Try to find a solution which is fair to both of them.

I think that's very true, Salmu

I'd look at moving the wall if it's possible, seems like the most sensible longterm solution. A couple friends of mine did this in an old flat that had one massive bedroom and one single room - cost less than £300 and ended up with 2 decent doubles.

I have to laugh at the idea of the parents getting the small room

Why? It's not a bad idea at all. I have seen people doing just that, instead of having bedrooms and playroom separate, they kept children and toys contained in their own room each.

There are no rules about parents having the biggest room in the house, why should they?

I have to laugh at the idea of the parents getting the small room (where it's likely that you can put a double bed) and the dcs get the two double bedrooms.

I agree, I wonder where OP and her DH would put all their clothes in a small room? only on MN would this happen...

Where would the children keep their clothes in a small room? :)

As someone said, there's no law about parents getting a big room

I would do what works now and not worry about the future arrangements just yet. My two (girl about 18m older than girl) shared a large room from ages 2 and 3 to about 8 and 9 and it worked very nicely. It then gave us a separate guest room and study (smaller rooms, but not tiny). I wouldn't do it with baby and toddler, but once their sleeping has settled down it is fine. It would also have been OK for them to share for a couple of years, but we preferred to swap at that point.

It depends really what you would do with the other room or rooms and which works best on that side.

It will soon become obvious whether one of your DC likes their own space more than the other, and they will probably be happy to have the small room to hide out from their sibling in.

Or whether one is tidy and one is messy might sway the decision.

Where would the children keep their clothes in a small room?

in a small wardrobe presumably...

I agree. I would think my parents were crazy if they let me have big room while two of them shared a smaller space! It would have made me see them as pushovers and the entitlement mentality that will put on me as a child would have been disastrous

And the parents can't?

And the parents can't?

I would imagine OP and her DH don't share a small wardrobe between them so anything bigger probably wouldn't fit in a small room. a single small person normally has less clothes than 2 adults. you really need that explained?

I never understand people who cram both kids in one room and then use the empty room for guests.

I know a family that lived in a 3 bed house with 2 kids, both kids crammed into one room and the ''spare'' room as a guest room that gets used once or twice a year

How ridiculous

Why are you even thinking about what'll happen when they're ten? Do what's best for them now and worry about that later.

We put the eldest two together and used a smaller room as a play room. Then when they got a bit older we gave them the choice of who had what room. Worked ok for us.
And then we had a third!

Growing up (from age 6 to 12) I lived in a 3bed semi with my parents and brother - 2 big bedrooms, one tiny.

We alternated years between the big and small bedrooms, swapping bedrooms every summer.

The big bedroom also contained a sofa-bed and it was accepted that, if you had the big room, you had to vacate onto a campbed elsewhere when we had visitors. But you did get the benefit of a sofa in your bedroom the rest of the time.

Worked for us! Rooms decorated in neutral colours, posters on the walls to personalise for that year.

Who has the bigger room will depend when they get older. Some children spend a lot of time in their room. My dd is always downstairs. She's 8 so no need really for a big bedroom (only child). Girls as they get older may need more privacy because of periods etc. They tend to have more clothes. So that could also influence a future decision When your children get older, you may choose to give one of them the office even if it isn't an ideal bedroom. For now, do what is best and if you want them to share, that's fine. However, make sure you have space for guests if that's important to you and that will probably mean having a double bed/sofa bed in the bigger room.

imperialthis post is really about what is best to do now? Just mentioning that in the future they will definitely be getting bigger rooms.
little ballerina were your kids different sexes? Dies that even matter or is dh just been ridiculous!

no way would i put a baby in with a child- instead of one tired, whiny child, you will have two!! let big brother get some sleep

long term plans dont need to be thought about yet

Where would the children keep their clothes in a small room?

This will blow your mind... kids clothes are smaller than adult ones!

This becomes apparent when packing for holiday and you need more suitcases as children get bigger.