To wonder if you're one of the older members of a large family you ever stop and think

[PlayOnWurtz]

No more kids please mum and dad!

How much were you expected to do to support them?

I also come from an Irish catholic background and grew up with many large families

They don't have large families now because they make their own mind up about contraception and aren't controlled by the church. That doesn't mean they were unhappy coming from large families

all the babysitting

Seriously? Youd begrudge looking after your DGC once a fortnight?

As I said we have a sahp.

I dont require childcare.

Read what I've actually written, not what you"d like me to have said.

Thanks

Yes, I read it as that's what grandparents in general do too.

Um, no. I chose to have the number of children DH and I felt we could look after rather than assuming that our parents, having done their child-rearing (however well...), were going to be happy to look after ours as well!

"Weird assumption that grandparents will do all the babysitting"

This ^^

I was born in Dublin in the 70s I am the eldest of 6, for me almost everyone U knew had 3/4/5/6 siblings,si it wasn't considered so big then.
For me yes I probably had a lot of responsibility for a child now,but not for then.It taught me the often tedious reality of looking after children.I have 2 kids,not because having a big family is bad,but because I saw the limits it put on my mother.

My grandmother was the second oldest of 12 and left home at the earliest opportunity, as she was basically a childminder. She remained close to all her siblings throughout her life, though.

My Dad is the second youngest of 14 (Irish, obvs ). Conversely, the older ones were fine about being part of a big family, but the younger ones were dragged up, to be honest.

Well look,

If youd actually assimilated the fact that I dont have a need for regular childcare im sure that your reading of my post may have been different.

But you didnt.

So you were mistaken and I'll let you off with it this once.

Oh here we go again. Lets bash large families because we are all the same.

I came from a small family and still had to babysit my younger brother after school and every school holiday, i did all the housework and cooked too. Its not just larger families that are disfinctional, plenty of families with only 2 or 3 kids are far worse!!

I have a large family and i DO NOT expect my older girls to babysit or bring the younger children up. That is our job as parents. The only thing i expect my older kids to do is tidy up after themselves, keep their room tidy, do their homework before kindles/games consoles and put their clean washing away. Thats it.

If they offer to wash up, help cook or entertain the younger ones that is their choice. And they do because they are decent kids and aren't forced to do it. My 15 year old has asked if she can stay here and never move out. Says a lot.

I think it was your phrasing FineLooking that caused the confusion.

I find the assumption that my elfeste will necessarily become a teenage babysitter frankly bizarre.

Thats what grandparents do. Not elder children FFS

Your second sentence makes it sound like you are talking generically rather than about your own situation.

Your later post clarifies that you were talking about your own situation, but then you say that you don't really need childcare so I'm confused again. But then again I'm only on here to procrastinate instead of working

We have a few large families (6+) at my current school. Dealing with these children I have discovered that a number of them wish their parents had stopped. We have one eldest that is angry, violent and volatile - it seems mum pretty much ignores the rest of them for the youngest. Another who barely speaks, and even then only in whispers, and a third who is currently having a nap every lunchtime because the newborn and the toddler are awake most of the night.

There is also the lack of money, the lack of space and the lack of time. None of these children look particularly well fed or well cared for. Homework isn't done, or is done very badly, school trips missed and school uniforms optional. Thankfully it's a very good school and lots of time, money and effort is being put into these kids to try to help. At another school they might not be so lucky.

I'm sure it works in some families, but sadly not in the ones I've seen.

Adults who were one of many might not have had more than a couple of kids through health reasons, not being able to afford more, not being able to conceive etc. Doesn't necessarily mean they wouldn't have liked a huge family. Things seemed easier years ago. Less pressure to have everything right now etc.

Babysitting isnt synonymous with childcare is it Daily?

In any case I've been gracious enough to overlook your faux pas.
No need to tie yourself in knots

I've had the opposite from my children's school, both high school and primary. Teachers have pulled me aside to tell me how well behaved, well mannered and well turned out my children are. Homework always done, school trips always paid for and attended and uniform always immaculate.

Oh I'm sure you have miserablesod, I've no doubt that some large families do it very well (and better than some smaller families). It's just not apparent in the ones I know, that's all.

I must admit that I don't currently know anyone in RL who has more than 4 children.

I know some one who is one of 11 - she loved it and would love a big family herself if she could - but for various reasons she can't and is heartbroken about that.

The only huge family we know well has a mix of birth, adopted and foster children. I think it was 13-14 at the last count.

The older ones are very much in favour of the increasing number of younger ones, as far as I can see, but I suppose that's an unusual situation in that they are actually consulted before each new sibling arrives.

The parents are mindbogglingly organised, and warm, and attentive. Mine have asked before now in a strop if they can go and live there tempted to take them up on it.

Imperialblether she left home at 22 after much persuasion by her bf. Still comes at least twice a week and all family days out and holidays!! 7 full time at home and she won't stay away!!

Friend of mine is 1/10 and says he's never having children, he's done his share of parenting.

This will be one of one threads where women who've chosen to have huge families will insist that their kids love it and wouldn't change a thing, while posters who grew up with many siblings will have a somewhat different take on the matter....

My BIL comes from a large family (he is one of 14) They aren't close at all and quite dysfunctional.

He is one of the older ones and is closer to his nearest in age siblings but not the others.

The eldest few had left home before the youngest were born.

Im one of 3. Still had to do babysitting when i wanted to be out with friends. Fucking selfish of parents to expect this.

I agree MagicChicjen

Large families aren't for me. I can't imagine the stress of going through 7 or 8 sets of teenagerdom and GCSEs and A levels. Once was enough for me.

I'm a member of a big family. I love it and all my siblings. Yes, I babysat and yes it sometimes annoyed me, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

My grandmother, born in 1905, was the eldest of nine. Her parents had four children close together then there was a bit of a gap, then another five came along. My grandmother used to tell me she loved her siblings but hated being the one who was expected to look after them. She resented it because it meant she had to stay at home when she really wanted to move away and see more of the world. She only had three children herself and said that was plenty.