To wonder if you're one of the older members of a large family you ever stop and think

[PlayOnWurtz]

No more kids please mum and dad!

How much were you expected to do to support them?

My dd is 27 and oldest of 11 and she loves it!! Tho she wasn't best pleased when she got 6 brothers in a row!!

The only person I know from a large (bigger than 5) family has chosen not to have children. Don't know if that's related or not. I'm just thinking if any of my other friends have chosen not to despite being married or in a long term relationship, and can't think of any.

My cousins all come from a big family-15 kids.

None of them have had more than two themselves.

Depends.
if the older ones end up rearing the younger ones, then I don't blame them if they leave home as soon as its legal and never have more than 2 kids themselves......

Are you sure she loves it, Ilovecaindingle?

Same here, the only people I know from a large family have sworn never to have more than 2! Lack of attention and babysitting younger siblings sounds dire.

I'm oldest of 5 not including step siblings/.half siblings (so about 10 in all!) and I'd not have more than 4 kids (I've one so far) .. someone always gets lost in the middle, financial worries, babysitting whole way through my teenage years - I won't be doing that to mine.

My parents are one of 7 and 8. They had 3 children. Their siblings have all had between 1-3 children each, mostly 2. None had tried to replicate a large family.

I think it really depends. My mum comes from a family of 7, they were very much expected to chip and care for the younger ones under the 'this is what families do for eachother'. But child rearing became her main focus very young. Everything had to consider the other children even when she was in her late teens and wanted to go out.

But i dont think all fanilies are like this or all kids quite resentful.

I have two and wouldn't have more as i feel stretched as it is.

It's so easy to be forgotten and unnoticed in a big family, as long as you're quiet. I always think that you only have to throw one child with extra needs into the mix and the whole thing can be a nightmare. I was always very aware, too, that if my parents died, all of the children would go into care and live separately. I found that both exciting and frightening.

My dad is one of 9. None of my aunts or uncles have more than two children. Very good friend is one of 6, they are at 3,3,1,1,0,0

Interesting to hear others from large families confirming that it's not all straw hats and trumpets!

My dad is 1 of 14, older kids ( especially the girls) had a really miserable time growing up. All now have 2 or 3 kids, none have 14!

"Very good friend is one of 6, they are at 3,3,1,1,0,0"

3 sets of twins or half/step siblings?

You could have two within a year.

My late mother was the oldest of 8 and hated it. She got stiffed with all the housework and child care. I'm the youngest of 3, sister is 20 years older, brother 13 years older. She was determined not to "overcrowd" her dc the way her siblings were. She took it a wee bit too far. 😎.

A hangover from her upbringing was she didn't understand the need for friends because she had 6 sisters who were all close to her age. I might as well have been an only child because of the big age gaps and my friends were essential to me and she resented it

Coming from an Irish Catholic background, I know loads of massive families. One girl I went to school with was the second youngest of 13 children.

The eldest kids almost always ended up being quite restricted in that they really didn't have as much spare time as their friends/peers, due to responsibilities to younger siblings.

I think it's great that kids grow up learning to be caring/considerate towards their siblings, but I don't agree they should be made so responsible for them, that it limits their own social/extra curricular lives.

My gt grandmother tried to stop my grandmother getting married because she needed her to do the housework and look after the younger ones.

Grandmother only had 3 DCs.

Big families are fine as long as the older ones aren't expected to provide child care. But too often they are.

I hate threads like this.

If we reversed it and spoke about how children hate being only children I'm sure it wouldn't go down so well.

I have five. Large but not hugely large. I manage to have time for them all, and the older siblings don't have to look after the younger ones. Although ds 17 asks if he can to earn money but he has never been expected to or made to feel like he should.

Yes, mine do like coming from a big family. No matter how much some people are determined to see large families as negative it's true.

I am one of 13. I didn't live with them all though.

I'm the eldest of 4. I'm 13 years older than my brother, and 7 years older than my youngest sister. I wish my parents had stopped at 2. I hated the lack of attention and the babysitting, nappy-changing aspect.

My brother still lived at home (he's 29 and has some mental health issues). My parents - who are both in their 70s - keep suggesting that he can come and live with me if anything happens to them. Fuck that - their child, their responsibility.

I was the second oldest of five 11 years between me and my youngest sibling. Had to do loads of babysitting as my oldest Sister was considered too irresponsible. Also had to share a bedroom with my eldest and youngest Sister. Drove me insane particularly when i was studying for exams and none of my siblings had any interest in studying. Put me off children for many years!

I think mrs Morton meant that of the six children they now have 3, 3 children 1, 1 child and two with no children

I know lots of people from families of 5 and above. Almost all of them don't speak to one or more of their siblings.

Left home at 18 to go to Uni. It was my only escape! Paid my way through Uni and worked every holiday. Used to break my heart returning home for the hols as it was back to sharing a room and babysitting around looking after the younger siblings. Upon graduation I didn't return to live there .

Gwen I think that's the number of children each of the six had

Magzmarsh... mine are all batshit crazy and have tons of wild children x