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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think double barrel surnames all sound stupid and there's just no need for it?

476 replies

ExpectoPatronummmm · 05/02/2017 11:31

I realise I will offend all you double barrellers
But why?
Do you realise it's a mouthful and makes you look like you're trying to be some kind of lord or lady?
What's wrong with one surname?
When I marry my OH i'lol take his surname. I won't just add it to mine and cause an unnecessarly long name to have to say/write/spell.

I think they make you look like a pleb.

OP posts:

littlebillie · 05/02/2017 20:20

I worry about life in general, but worrying about other people's surnames is utterly bizarre. Normally there is a great story (which I love) behind a name.

JoyceDivision · 05/02/2017 20:24

I love the fact my double barrelled surname is getting on the little pea brained mn'etters tits

It doesn't make me look like a pleb, I don't expect to sound like a Lady, as I'm fine and dandy with my daily life and don't feel the need to project false impressions, it's a shame quite a few people are so unhappy and or bitter they have to make snarky swipes at what has fuck all to do with them

Ewock · 05/02/2017 20:32

I have double-barrelled my surname. I was 34 when I married and liked my surname too much to get rid of it and also I didn't see any reason why I should get rid of mine. It's my name and no way was I going to part with it, I wanted to have my husbands as well so we decided to double barrel. And yes my husband has double barrelled too. I am not insulted that others think it is stupid or pretentious or whatever it is that they think. I certainly don't think I am a lady because I have double-barrelled, my husband just laughed out loud at that! But it my choice and my decision.

QuinionsRainbow · 05/02/2017 20:34

We double-barrelled too, for roughly the same reasons as Ewock and others. We both had professional identities that we wanted to retain. So i say YABU.

NotCitrus · 05/02/2017 20:35

I think my neighbour Thingy FiveSyllable-SixSyllable regretted his name a bit when it took a few goes to countersign my kids' passports!

His children are now grown and have adopted one half or the other, in each case matching the ethnicity they look most like, but don't know if that was their reasoning.

JellyWitch · 05/02/2017 20:36

I didn't change my surname when I married - I am known by it professionally so it would be daft to.

The kids therefore have both surnames, not for any pretentious reason but so that it is clearer to school, nursery, doctor, immigration etc that parent belongs to child. Having a totally unrelated surname from my kids would be a pain. If they want to drop half the surname when they are adult then that's their prerogative.

FourKidsNotCrazyYet · 05/02/2017 20:39

Wow, what a 'nice' thread. All the 'feminists' out in force. So if you take your husbands name your a spineless pleb? So lovely when women judge other women. Almost as 'nice' when discussing breast v bottle feeding

Velvian · 05/02/2017 20:39

I have double barrelled exh-dh, because they are my children's names; it's a pain in the bum, but it was important to me to have same name as my dcs.

wifework · 05/02/2017 20:45

I double-barrelled when I got married. I'm now Ms Mindyerown-Bizniz. Better than Mrs Judgypants-smallo'mind. (that's you OP in case you didn't know).

corythatwas · 05/02/2017 20:54

I'm double-barrelled because that means I can both be identified as my professional persona and share a surname with my children. They have dh's surname because it a) is easier to pronounce and spell b) is English

reuset · 05/02/2017 20:54

I love the fact my double barrelled surname is getting on the little pea brained mn'etters tits grin

Pay careful attention to your apostrophe placement when calling others pea brained

reuset · 05/02/2017 20:57

Nobody else has denied the fish forks and serviettes.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 05/02/2017 20:59

I read this thread with hope but am at a loss to what to do - I have my exH surname, my DC (his DC) have the same surname.

We divorced and I have since married a woman with a surname she would never change as she is an academic and it would create a problem with publishing. Equally I won't change mine because I want the same surname as my children.
I don't like don't like double barrelled surnames because I think it's confusing for children - what happens when they marry and have children with someone else with a double barrelled surname ...... arreggfghhh!!!

To complicate this even further I'm about to get a doctorate - no one in my family has ever had one before ... yet I'm about to be a doctor exH. Hate that idea.

The only answer is to return to my maiden name ... I think ....,

JassyRadlett · 05/02/2017 21:01

So if you take your husbands name your a spineless pleb?

No, it was those of us who double-barrelled either ourselves or our kids who are plebs, have net curtains, take package ski holidays (I think these are a proxy for 'common'), pretentious, ego-centric, and... I've missed a few, but you get the idea.

Out of interest, why are you focusing your ire on those who are defending their decision to double-barrel, without subjecting the comments of those attacking the decision to the same scrutiny and standard?

Such as, er, the OP?

reuset · 05/02/2017 21:01

Can't you just leave things as they are then, Onemorecup? Lots of couples have different surnames, married and unmarried.

OpenYourEyesAndSee · 05/02/2017 21:02

Whether dp and I marry or not I am never changing my name. For DD it was a choice of his surname, my surname or double barreling. The first two options would be unfair to one of us so we double-barrelled her surname.

littlebillie · 05/02/2017 21:03

Where is the OP

JassyRadlett · 05/02/2017 21:04

Nobody else has denied the fish forks and serviettes.

raises hand I thought it was implied.

Incidentally, in posts picking out punctuation errors in others' posts, don't forget about full stops.

EmeraldIsland · 05/02/2017 21:05

YANBU op. I've never seen one that I didn't think looked silly and/or pretentious. I just don't see the point at all...plus, it's not a 'sustainable' naming method or your dgc would end up with 8 surnames...

Don't see why people don't just choose one, or create a new one from an anagram of both if they can't decide.

OpenYourEyesAndSee · 05/02/2017 21:08

As I said in our case we each felt it would be unfair to the other if our DD had only one of our surnames. As for creating an anagram...Well that's not really my style. It's not a sustainble naming method? Well that's assuming that your children will have children and it's also assuming they will also want to double barrel. I'm sure they will cope.

JassyRadlett · 05/02/2017 21:08

Don't see why people don't just choose one, or create a new one from an anagram of both if they can't decide.

Why do you let this take up any of your headspace, out of interest? Do you feel similarly about 'traditional' names you think aren't aesthetically pleasing or particularly euphonic, or is it only double-barrelled Ines that you debate the thought processes and motivations of the originators?

EmeraldIsland · 05/02/2017 21:11

The most ridiculous of all is those with the same surname as their oh and yet they still double barrel. Which I know is fairly rare, but it does happen.

I know one - a lady I used to work with called Helen Davis (changed the first name). She married a Tom Davis and yes, they became Helen and Tom Davis-Davis. They have a couple of kids who are also Davis-Davis.

I mean, what the actual fuck is the point in that? Just...why?

reuset · 05/02/2017 21:12

raises hand I thought it was implied. grin

I don't believe you somehow I wonder why...

Incidentally, in posts picking out punctuation errors in others' posts, don't forget about full stop

That poster was calling somebody pea brained. I didn't call anybody pea brained so don't need to watch my back Pointing out super elementary omissions for no reason is a bit off, however.

PenelopeFlintstone · 05/02/2017 21:13

YANBU. I don't why everyone thinks you're goady or troll-like. Just as they're entitled to one opinion, so are you we

JoyceDivision · 05/02/2017 21:15

reuset, my shameful error... bad apostrophe placement. It's the pleb in me

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