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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think double barrel surnames all sound stupid and there's just no need for it?

476 replies

ExpectoPatronummmm · 05/02/2017 11:31

I realise I will offend all you double barrellers
But why?
Do you realise it's a mouthful and makes you look like you're trying to be some kind of lord or lady?
What's wrong with one surname?
When I marry my OH i'lol take his surname. I won't just add it to mine and cause an unnecessarly long name to have to say/write/spell.

I think they make you look like a pleb.

OP posts:
reuset · 05/02/2017 18:16

What is a fish fork?

You mean you don't use different cutlery for eating fish Grin It goes hand in hand with serviettes, net curtains and the like, toilets and saying pardon. They usually get a mention on the many 'class' threads here on Mumsnet.

Famalam13 · 05/02/2017 18:24

I am happy to run through our reasons for you crumbs :) Both DH and I are attached to our birth names, they are part of us and link us to our families and our history. We therefore wanted to retain them in some way so one of us taking the name of the other wasn't an option.

We did consider merging our names to create a new single surname but we didn't like the options and it felt that we had still lost the link with our birth names. So we double barrelled.

Crumbs1 · 05/02/2017 18:47

Goodgirlgonewrong it most certainly doesn't mark you out as grand. Stop worrying about that.

Gwenhwyfar · 05/02/2017 18:53

" how can both mother and father have a good family name that is different to each other? Are they not a family? "

Did you not know a woman does not have to change her name on marriage? Has feminism not reached where you live?
And why is a double-barrelled name unfortunate?

dangerrabbit · 05/02/2017 19:07

Obviously this is down to personal choice but I do wonder what will happen when two double barrelled people get together. I once taught a child with a quadruple barrelled surname.

embo1 · 05/02/2017 19:09

It's got absolutely fuck all to do with you.

We're not married and each wanted ds to have our name. He has one name like mummy and one name like daddy. I like it.

It's got absolutely fuck all to do with you.

Famalam13 · 05/02/2017 19:11

rabbit why do you wonder this? The couple can choose to retain their birth names. One could change their name to that of the other. They could create a new name of their own. They could each take one name from their double barrelled names to create a new double barrelled name or they could triple or quadruple barrel. So many options!

Parker231 · 05/02/2017 19:17

DH and I are married - the DT's have double barreled (which they have always been proud of) - my surname and DH's. What surname do you think they should have?

JassyRadlett · 05/02/2017 19:19

Oh dear, Crumbs, you seem either a little hard or thinking or are a GF. I'll be charitable and assume the former, and do your thinking for you.

Why disadvantage your child with a double barrel name?

What disadvantage? Statistics or studies please - the socially-paranoid rantinngs of those obsessed with net curtains don't qualify as evidence. Wink

Interesting - how can both mother and father have a good family name that is different to each other?

I have mine, he has his. Neither of us saw any reason to change our names on marriage, because each of us was content with the ones we had grown up with. Him with his father's, me with my father's.

Are they not a family?

Yes. Curiously, our sense of 'family' is not so fragile that it crumbles because we don't all have the same last name.

Has one not left their childhood family and fully entered their own family?

Was DH supposed to change his name to indicate he'd left childhood behind? Sorry, wait a sec, I'll nip across the hall and tell him.

Just seems silly and a disservice to saddle the poor unsuspecting child with an uber unfortunate name.

They seem to like it so far. And I'm comforted by the fact that at least they don't have ignorant twats for parents, and aren't saddled with a last name that would forever associate them with parents like that, so I reckon they're still ahead of the game.

JassyRadlett · 05/02/2017 19:21

Obviously this is down to personal choice but I do wonder what will happen when two double barrelled people get together.

rabbit, I refer you to my earlier comment about not raising fools who are flummoxed by such a simple question of personal choice and taste.

Your standards may be lower, I couldn't say. Smile

Littlechip · 05/02/2017 19:25

YANBU. Pick one surname and stick with it. Stop carrying one extra surname around like a dead weight. It's just bloody pretentious.

corythatwas · 05/02/2017 19:26

thornyhousewife Sun 05-Feb-17 15:06:47
"I agree with the OP. I think people have an unecessary and ego-centric attachment to their surnames.

What happens when this generation of double-barrelled kids get married in twenty years? Will they have four names? And their children?..

It's absurd."

The Spaniards have managed to live his absurdity for generations. What normally happens in Hispanic countries is that the child takes one element from each side of the family, so ends up with a new double-barrelled name. In the UK one assumes that parents can simply do what they like.

Famalam13 · 05/02/2017 19:26

What if both parties are attached to their birth name and don't want to give it up Little?

Parker231 · 05/02/2017 19:28

Littlechip- why should our DT's have their fathers surname but not mine as well?

WeAreEternal · 05/02/2017 19:32

I have a double barrelled surname.
I love my surname, so much so that when I married DH I kept my name, DH uses it but legally and professionally he kept his name as it was easier.
DS (10) has my double barrels name and he likes it.

I inherited the name, so did my DF. (DM married and took the name, she love it though)
All 4 of my brothers love the name too.

When DGM married DGF they both came from 'affluent' families and considered their names very important so DBed them.
DGM was a fistey woman and took no stick from anyone, least of all DGF, I can imagine she told DGF it was her name, DB or nothing.

AdoraBell · 05/02/2017 19:35

Good to know my DH has that unnecessary and ego-centric attachment to his name. That explains why he didn't drop it when we git married.

JassyRadlett · 05/02/2017 19:37

Sadly for my DCs, they have parents who'd don't mind being thought 'pretentious' by the small-minded uber-traditionalists.

I'm coping just fine without having signalled to the world my ability to catch a man by changing my name and title, DH's masculinity doesn't seem unduly dented, and we seem to function pretty well as a close family unit without an identical label to indicate the fact.

I'm sure the kids will cope with the crushing weight of eight letters and a hyphen.

MrsExpo · 05/02/2017 19:43

Not read all the replies .... couldn't be bothered tbh .... but could I nominate OP for the "bravest MN member" medal ....

JassyRadlett · 05/02/2017 19:50

Eh, MrsExpo, I call GF, but it's fun to play.

Headofthehive55 · 05/02/2017 19:52

It did cause a bit of awkwardness when we didn't use my mil surname component for our children.

littlebillie · 05/02/2017 20:08

Obvious inferiority complex GrinGrinGrinHmm

Only1scoop · 05/02/2017 20:12

Quite

Op had similar views on a giving birth at 'The Portland' thread

I mean it's not as if it's called The Portland-Smythe-Upwardly-Urquart Hospital is it?

BeverleyBrook · 05/02/2017 20:17

I have a double-barrelled surname and PMT. So frankly, fuck you, and the horse you rode in on.

PostTruthEra · 05/02/2017 20:18

Jassey I agree with everything you've said on this thread, and couldn't have put it better!

TheNaze73 · 05/02/2017 20:19

YANBU. It's a bit wanky

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