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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think double barrel surnames all sound stupid and there's just no need for it?

476 replies

ExpectoPatronummmm · 05/02/2017 11:31

I realise I will offend all you double barrellers
But why?
Do you realise it's a mouthful and makes you look like you're trying to be some kind of lord or lady?
What's wrong with one surname?
When I marry my OH i'lol take his surname. I won't just add it to mine and cause an unnecessarly long name to have to say/write/spell.

I think they make you look like a pleb.

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 05/02/2017 16:22

Lol at the OP coming back on the thread, only to be deleted, presumably for being a goady fucker again. She/he/it does have a posting history, just a goady one Grin

SarcasmMode · 05/02/2017 16:23

I had a DB name until I got married in 2015 at 25.

It never bothered me.

My parents weren't married when I was born and I just kept it that way even when they did get married.

I took DHs name as we would all have the same surname. If we ever did divorce it wouldn't matter if DDs have different name, I'd still have PR.

No need to be so judgmental - it really impacts you very little.

nestofvipers · 05/02/2017 16:24

*Ms Anne Smith-Jones-Warblequacker-Fletcher-Spooner-Smith-Harrison-Ford

I'd fucking love a name like that!*

Me too. Rushes off to see if Warblequacker is available as a username....

streetface · 05/02/2017 16:28

Eeerm I didn't realise people judged this as the father not wanting to marry or trying to be pretentious.

My children have double-barrelled surnames. I was married to their father. Sadly that marriage broke down but he remains very involved and they are still very much part of his family. I re-married. Their step-father loves them and considers them just as much his children as the child we went on to have together. The children have also taken his surname at the agreement of their biological father so they share their my new name and their new sisters name without cutting out their father. We felt it was all part of them feeling included and an acknowledgement that they were part of two loving families. They were asked what they wanted to do. They had the choice of keeping one name, changing to my new one or keeping both. It was their choice.

Shame there are adults out there who will judge them pretentious or assuming they have uncommitted fathers.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 05/02/2017 16:30

Similar but not quite the same situation for me Street. Unfortunately, the hard-of-thinking are unable to imagine that or similar situations. Says more about them than you, alas.

PortiaCastis · 05/02/2017 16:31

This thread will be known as the Warblequacker thread what a brilliant name. Well done whoever thought of that

mrslaichaoui · 05/02/2017 16:32

When me and my DH have children, they will have a double barreled name, although my surname is 7 letters long and hubbys is 9! I know it will be a mouthful but my DD has my surname and I don't want my children having completely different names IYSWIM? Each to their own I say who are you to judge? Everyone has their own reasoning.

streetface · 05/02/2017 16:35

"Similar but not quite the same situation for me Street. Unfortunately, the hard-of-thinking are unable to imagine that or similar situations. Says more about them than you, alas."

Indeed it is precisely because their father IS committed that they chose to have it that way. People judge the most ridiculous things. OP you sound like a pleb.

DianaMemorialJam · 05/02/2017 16:38

Well equally there's no need to take your husband's name OP. It makes you look spineless and as if you're trying to be someone from the 1800s.

You sound just as rude as the op. Well done.

littlebunnyhophophop · 05/02/2017 16:44

My kids both have double barrelled second names they have different dads and we were never married so that's that Hmm

moongirl123 · 05/02/2017 16:51

Am foreign so don't have a double-barelled name but who gives a fuck? And calling someone a 'pleb' makes you sound like one, OP.

n0ne · 05/02/2017 16:58

How is it pretentious to not want to lose my surname when I get married? Double-barrelled means I've joined DH's family but not left mine. None of your beeswax what I call myself, anyway

Famalam13 · 05/02/2017 17:21

Sorry to disappoint but I am neither posh nor unmarried. Most of the people with double barrelled names I know are couples who married and both decided to join their names because equality you know. This was our reason. I also love the fact that as far as we can tell we are the only three people in the world with our surname :)

Famalam13 · 05/02/2017 17:22

I also find it utterly bizarre when people wonder what DS will do if he gets married. Pretty sure he and his partner will be adults perfectly able to make a decision for themselves and it won't be any of my business.

Crumbs1 · 05/02/2017 17:24

I don't know anyone with a double barrel,name. If you have a good family name why would you add another name to it? In mind mind double barrel names go with net curtains, serviettes and package ski holidays.

JassyRadlett · 05/02/2017 17:27

I also find it utterly bizarre when people wonder what DS will do if he gets married. Pretty sure he and his partner will be adults perfectly able to make a decision for themselves and it won't be any of my business.

This. I'm not raising my kids to be fools.

I'm always quite surprised that people think so little of their children's future ability to make decisions. Shouldn't you be trying to equip them better, so that you're not worried they'll be stumped by a relatively simple issue?

JassyRadlett · 05/02/2017 17:29

Crumbs, what happens when both DH and I have good family names - but different ones?

The children are not overburdened. Eight letters in their last names. I think they'll cope.

Now, where's my package ski holiday?

reuset · 05/02/2017 17:30

You forgot fish forks, Crumbs Grin

reuset · 05/02/2017 17:32

and knives * Oops

Famalam13 · 05/02/2017 17:34

Bugger crumbs I am doing this wrong! I hate net curtains, have never been on a package ski holiday and I use napkins. Oh and reuset I don't own any fish knives or forks. Must do better Grin

Vacant101 · 05/02/2017 17:37

2 girls in my DD's class have a double barrelled first name and a double barrelled surname name.. is this a thing now?

reuset · 05/02/2017 17:40

Bugger crumbs I am doing this wrong! I hate net curtains, have never been on a package ski holiday and I use napkins. Oh and reuset I don't own any fish knives or forks. Must do better

Grin
DioneTheDiabolist · 05/02/2017 17:44

Of course YABU OP, but no more unreasonable than posters who judge women who change their names on marriage. I address people by the name they give me, it has never occurred to me to ask if they changed their name or why they have the name they do.Hmm

Crumbs1 · 05/02/2017 18:06

What is a fish fork? Why disadvantage your child with a double barrel name? Interesting - how can both mother and father have a good family name that is different to each other? Are they not a family? Has one not left their childhood family and fully entered their own family? Just seems silly and a disservice to saddle the poor unsuspecting child with an uber unfortunate name.

GoodGirlGoneWrong · 05/02/2017 18:15

My double barrelled surname is a family name - no relation to marriage (I never changed it when I got married too much faff) The family surname dates back hundreds and hundreds of years.

I'm actually rather insulted by this. Your small minded attitude that is.

I don't give a shiny shit if I'm judged by the fact I have a double barrelled surname or not and I don't think it makes me overly snobby or posh.