AIBU regarding theatre experience?

[WildBelle]

I took my DDs to the theatre last night as a treat. I was up to my neck in uni work all xmas holidays so we didn't really go out and do much, so I got us tickets to see a show that I knew they'd both love. I hope I don't offend anyone with this post, I have a dd with a disability so that's the last thing I want to do.

Throughout the first half there was someone in the audience who kept singing happy birthday VERY loudly. This ramped up significantly in the second half, it was pretty much constant and very distracting, and then was accompanied by someone else who was making very loud noises (and sounded quite distressed). i am assuming that they were older children or adults with learning difficulties. Now don't get me wrong, I am completely behind the idea of people with disabilities having access to theatre or anything else, but in the second half particularly the noises coming from that direction were so loud that it was impossible to hear what was going on on stage.

If someone had a baby that was crying, they would have taken them out to avoid disturbing everyone else. I can't help thinking that the carers should have done something about it, particularly when it escalated in the second half. I personally feel disppointed that the show was ruined a bit by not being able to hear, as a single parent it's not something I can afford to do that often. There was probably getting on for 1000 people in the theatre and they would have all been affected by the noise levels.

I probably sound horrible and I really don't mean to, but AIBU?

LouKout - because for me the two scenarios aren't remotely comparible.

I would always (and have when I had a pram) moved for wheelchair users.

But I would also be upset if a very much longer for (and saved up for) treat was completely ruined. It wouldn't be as easy as "it wouldn't happen next time" for me as I wouldn't be able to afford to buy tickets again.

Penguin

It's sad that people are conditioned by society to accept being excluded and think it's reasonable. I'm glad to hear you hear some more accepting views

Penguin normally I don't need any adjustments as I go to places I can choose my seat online and research the shows carefully. I do sometimes ask about strobe lights / sound effects if I think that might be an issue.

But, I get very upset if people don't / can't follow the 'normal' social rules. So I wouldn't be able to cope with someone shouting out or singing. And changing seats wouldn't be an option as I don't deal with change well.

I can't go to autism-friendly shows (despite being autistic) because there are a lot of people who are more vocal and who do move around. That's distressing for me.

So the only adjustment I could ask for would be that everyone in the auditorium abides by conventional theatre rules, if that makes sense?

Just to add I am involved in management of a local theatre group and would do absolutely anything I could to accommodate the needs of the audience.

For me though that absolutely has to extend to every member of the audience

Penguin

From what Smiling has said it sounds as though she needs other theatre goers to behave predictably and to keep to social rules. So no singing "Happy Birthday" loudly throughout the performance.

What Smiling is trying to say (I think - I'm not her) is that by being inclusive to one set of people with disabilities that make them unable to keep to social rules you are excluding another set whose disability means that they are unable to cope when social rules are broken.

I'm not sure that people without disabilities face quite the same discrimination and are in need of their rights being defended in same way, but interesting point

And sadly although I sympathise with smiling I'm not sure you can say excluding people who can't actually NT is a reasonable demand. It's hard

Mumoftwoyoungkids Exactly

Smiling Cross post. I also struggle when people break rules although I do not have a diagnosis and have no intention of investigating whether I do or do not have autism. I am happy with my self label of "a bit quirky".

LouKout - it's more a specific need on a night type of thing.

From memory I have had people book seats then injure themselves and need new ones. A pregnant lady who was too hot in the first half, someone sat behind someone very tall.

I have also remonstrated with people chatting/making noise and thrown out "filmers".

I just think when you take people's money you have to at the very least be seen to try and solve their concerns.

Wow we havnt had one of these threads for ages
Yay

Smiling

LouKout

Thank you.

I bloody love the theatre. It is for anyone and everyone and we will bend over backwards to accommodate people's needs as far as we possibly can. Tell me, someone please, where else is there more inclusivity, understanding and opportunity for access?

What we will not do is encourage selfishness and intolerance.

It is a live, unpredictable and changeable experience and every single show is different.

I have no idea who decided theatre should be experienced silently or passively, because that is not its history or its present.

I want to see and hear people, waving and cheering, signing and singing, crying and caterwauling.

If anyone wants live TV, please be my guest and go elsewhere. There is nothing more heartening than hearing, seeing or feeling an engaged audience in a shared experience.

Penguin - it's not wrong for people to want to experience theatre in a different way though.

The challenge is ensuring that everyone can enjoy the experience surely?

I want to see and hear people, waving and cheering, signing and singing, crying and caterwauling.

Just pointing out here that this philosophy, if practiced in every performance, would make theatre completely inaccessible for plenty of disabled people for all sorts of reasons (eg sensory overload, inability to see the text monitor because of the arm-waving, inability to hear the actors if hearing-impaired due to the caterwauling next to you, etc etc).

There isn't a one size fits all solution.

smiling

I understand your point. Sadly, there are no normal conventions for theatre, as each show is staged differently and audience engagement is framed differently.

If excessive noise/audience movement is an issue, I'd suggest chatting with the venue to see if they have seats that are in quieter locations. In my current venue, we have seats in boxes, or single seats away from the core audience blocks that would mean you'd be less likely to be disrupted and some sound buffering from the audience. They are all also wheelchair accessible.

If you'd like me to, I'll happily recommend some suitable venues (with that kind of layout or setups).

It's interesting that OP later in the thread states they originally moved seats because of a noisy family and no one has brought up their behaviour or suggest that they should've been asked to leave only that of the disabled people. I can cope with random shout outs and singing out loud but would struggle with constant low level chattering, food wrappers rustling and noisy eating - all of which appear to be within the acceptable realms of cinema and theatre behaviour.

I'm quite deaf. Someone sitting closer to me, than I am to the stage, singing through a performance would mean that I wouldn't be able to hear any of the performance...

One of my biggest challenges is accommodating wheelchair users.

Due to the age and seating arrangements at the theatre we hire, seats can only be removed to accommodate wheelchair users if the auditorium is empty. So if people book in advance its fine, if a wheelchair user attempts to buy a ticket on the door it's almost impossible to accommodate

archery and annie

Not necessarily all at once!

Not everyone will enjoy every show - fundamentally impossible. However, venues can and do try and accommodate everyone as far as possible.

chipped does your local venue have an induction loop?

I find that very helpful in reducing background noise.

Smiling - I think the point of relaxed performances is that they're for people who can't manage normal theatre shows. If you can then you have no need of them (whatever the dx). I had always assumed ds1 would be too feral for a relaxed performance until I saw footage of one - and if there's ever a relaxed musical somewhere near here I will now try one.

Ds1 has a blue badge but he generally doesn't need the extra large spaces it provides so if there is somewhere else appropriate to park we'll park there and leave the larger spaces for those with physical disabilities. Likewise if he has male carers with him he doesn't need the disabled toilet. He does if he has female carers. I don't see the point of accessing adaptations unless they're needed.

I still like the box and screen idea. Works for all sorts of disabilties.

Penguin: It is a live, unpredictable and changeable experience and every single show is different.

I have no idea who decided theatre should be experienced silently or passively, because that is not its history or its present.

I want to see and hear people, waving and cheering, signing and singing, crying and caterwauling.

Well, I fucking don't. I want everyone to respect the actors and shut up so everyone can hear the play. They can wave and cry and shout at the end - the encore.

And, yes, that IS its present; people make no noise in the theatre apart from pantos, and normal applause.

I agree with gallivanting. Some genres will be more interactive than others, panto etc is designed for audience shouting etc, but a play done straight surely requires audience attention and not interaction.