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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU regarding theatre experience?

631 replies

WildBelle · 04/02/2017 19:19

I took my DDs to the theatre last night as a treat. I was up to my neck in uni work all xmas holidays so we didn't really go out and do much, so I got us tickets to see a show that I knew they'd both love. I hope I don't offend anyone with this post, I have a dd with a disability so that's the last thing I want to do.

Throughout the first half there was someone in the audience who kept singing happy birthday VERY loudly. This ramped up significantly in the second half, it was pretty much constant and very distracting, and then was accompanied by someone else who was making very loud noises (and sounded quite distressed). i am assuming that they were older children or adults with learning difficulties. Now don't get me wrong, I am completely behind the idea of people with disabilities having access to theatre or anything else, but in the second half particularly the noises coming from that direction were so loud that it was impossible to hear what was going on on stage.

If someone had a baby that was crying, they would have taken them out to avoid disturbing everyone else. I can't help thinking that the carers should have done something about it, particularly when it escalated in the second half. I personally feel disppointed that the show was ruined a bit by not being able to hear, as a single parent it's not something I can afford to do that often. There was probably getting on for 1000 people in the theatre and they would have all been affected by the noise levels.

I probably sound horrible and I really don't mean to, but AIBU?

OP posts:
Devilishpyjamas · 04/02/2017 23:22

Not quite true. Whole audiences sang along to one of the shows that ds2 was in. I was concerned it would put him off when the entire stalls started singing on the run up to one of his solos in one show but he said he couldn't hear them from the stage.

That's the one ds1 would have loved - but he was definitely too noisy for it That show tours constantly and I have never heard of it having a relaxed performance.

tiggytape · 04/02/2017 23:24

This reply has been deleted

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Devilishpyjamas · 04/02/2017 23:24

TBH people with learning disabilities are highly unlikely to be in a straight play that requires absolute silence. It's musicals or physical theatre all round surely?

People with Tourette's maybe - but someone with loud Tourette's with tics regular enough to interfere must be extremely rare (personally I'd happily accept that).

californiansunrise · 04/02/2017 23:25

It is a live, unpredictable and changeable experience and every single show is different.

I have no idea who decided theatre should be experienced silently or passively, because that is not its history or its present.

Well said Penguin.

californiansunrise · 04/02/2017 23:28

TBH people with learning disabilities are highly unlikely to be in a straight play that requires absolute silence. It's musicals or physical theatre all round surely?

Yes. Without wanting to make a sweeping generalisation it's my experience that vocal patrons come to musicals and the panto. Extremely unlikely to be at a straight play or even ballet or opera. I suspected the OP was at a musical.

AndShesGone · 04/02/2017 23:28

Well loads of noise might be its ancient history and some plays still encourage audience interaction like panto.

But the vast majority is a quiet experience. I saw Hedda Gabbler a few weeks ago, you couldn't hear a pin drop.

AndShesGone · 04/02/2017 23:29

The OP (and another poster) have already said they were at Chitty Bang Bang.

Devilishpyjamas · 04/02/2017 23:30

And you would never find someone remotely like ds1 at Hedda Gabbler.

Devilishpyjamas · 04/02/2017 23:31

I do know someone with a misbehaving body who enjoys the ballet - but that's very rare. Rare enough that I would hope local theatres could find a solution for the one person I their community that is likely to be affected.

TheHobbitMum · 04/02/2017 23:32

I'd have to email or call the theatre, your enjoyment of the show shouldn't be affected by others, disability or not. I'd be pissed off paying £100s for our theatre trip (family of 6) to not be able to hear it at all. I think staff could've done more to make sure everyone enjoyed their trip. I hope you manage to get a satisfactory result OP

JacquesHammer · 04/02/2017 23:33

Devilish what do you mean by "misbehaving body". I would be interested to know what sort of accommodations would need to be made in case this ever becomes pertinent to me

PenguinRoar · 04/02/2017 23:33

devilish which show? I love a challenge? Happy to see what I can find.

gallivanting I once saw a matinee of The Cherry orchard with over 100 texting, chatting teenagers in watching for their a level credits. It was noisy and somewhat odd. They cheered when the axes fell at the end.

No, that doesn't fit the the normal interpretation of the text, but it was their intrepretation and it changed the performance in an interesting way.

Evening show was silent and then rapturous applause at close. That changed it in a completely different way too.

P00pchute · 04/02/2017 23:35

I took my 3yr old to an autism friendly cinema showing a while ago - there was general noise, but she was being so noisy that it was causing others to tic and shout. We lasted 10 mins and I left because I felt it wasn't fair to the other people there.

Chippednailvarnishing · 04/02/2017 23:41

Someone singing at full volume isn't background noise.

Devilishpyjamas · 04/02/2017 23:42

I mean someone who appears severely autistic (non-verbal) but actually has intact understanding but almost no control over their body or vocalisations. So presents like ds1 but has a much better understanding of expected behaviours. Someone like that may want to access something highbrow. But you are taking (currently) a few hundred people in the world. most people who present like ds1 are going to be going to musicals - not something that requires silence.

Penguin ds2 is far too old to play a 6 year old now (there's your first clue - others is that it's known for its outrageous costumes and has fairly adult themes... a Big Star frequently plays the main part in about half of the tour stops) - so it's not such a big wish now. Ds1 also can't travel very easily now so the relaxed performance would have to be near us! (Unlikely!) There's another one (but ds2 too big to play a 12 year old), but that's a highly expensive production & has very short runs. That is reappearing here this year but I doubt there'll be a relaxed show.

We'll carry on singing along in the car dreaming of screened off boxes (I do really love that idea).

JacquesHammer · 04/02/2017 23:44

Thank you for explaining.

Devilishpyjamas · 04/02/2017 23:46

You're welcome. I wanted to qualify my 'everyone like ds1 wants to be at musicals' because while it's nearly always true there are exceptions - but so rare I would hope local theatres would be able to come up with something creative to accommodate.

JacquesHammer · 04/02/2017 23:49

Absolutely - it's something I shall work hard for should the situation arise!

roseshippy · 04/02/2017 23:54

"It's like the old wheelchair on bus vs buggy IMO

People moan about having to fold but really it's a rare occurrence. As opposed to people using wheelchairs encountering buggies on every bus.
"

I don't think you can compare public transport, which is a necessity to get from A to B, with a leisure activity.

ChangeTime · 04/02/2017 23:55

But the vast majority is a quiet experience. I saw Hedda Gabbler a few weeks ago, you couldn't hear a pin drop

What not even the snoring Wink Grin

I wonder what would happen at a production at the NT if someone was making a lot of noise. I've seen most productions going back years and have never encountered any undue noise except for the odd bout of coughing.
I noticed that they did a relaxed performance for Peter Pan.

Somerville · 05/02/2017 00:00

The only sound problem I've had at the NT is bloody mobile phones ringing.

BishopBrennansArse · 05/02/2017 00:05

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ChangeTime · 05/02/2017 00:05

I've honestly hardly ever heard mobiles going off at the NT. A couple of times years back but not for ages now. I tend to sit close to the front in the £15 cheap seats so maybe I don't notice them as much.

manicinsomniac · 05/02/2017 00:09

Smiling - I don't really see that there's a particular clash between your needs and a very vocal disabled person's needs in this situation. The social norms of the theatre support your disability, surely? Most people naturally behave in the way you need them to when there. So, if you are prevented from enjoying or remaining in a performance because of disruption from someone with SN, then you are no different from any other NT member of the audience in that it's a one off occurrence, unlikely to happen to you again. So I'd say that yes, the other person's right to remain in the theatre would 'trump' yours because you can go again and be happy whereas every time they go someone will get upset.

BishopBrennansArse · 05/02/2017 00:10

Oh and I'll take my kids to any show they want to see. There won't be relaxed performances of everything.

If anyone has an issue with them flapping or making noises they can piss off. I'd only remove them if they're distressed.

Imagine not being able to go anywhere because there's someone who gets pissed off by your very existence everywhere. We refuse to live that way, it's very much the problem of the 'offended' person.