AIBU regarding theatre experience?

[WildBelle]

I took my DDs to the theatre last night as a treat. I was up to my neck in uni work all xmas holidays so we didn't really go out and do much, so I got us tickets to see a show that I knew they'd both love. I hope I don't offend anyone with this post, I have a dd with a disability so that's the last thing I want to do.

Throughout the first half there was someone in the audience who kept singing happy birthday VERY loudly. This ramped up significantly in the second half, it was pretty much constant and very distracting, and then was accompanied by someone else who was making very loud noises (and sounded quite distressed). i am assuming that they were older children or adults with learning difficulties. Now don't get me wrong, I am completely behind the idea of people with disabilities having access to theatre or anything else, but in the second half particularly the noises coming from that direction were so loud that it was impossible to hear what was going on on stage.

If someone had a baby that was crying, they would have taken them out to avoid disturbing everyone else. I can't help thinking that the carers should have done something about it, particularly when it escalated in the second half. I personally feel disppointed that the show was ruined a bit by not being able to hear, as a single parent it's not something I can afford to do that often. There was probably getting on for 1000 people in the theatre and they would have all been affected by the noise levels.

I probably sound horrible and I really don't mean to, but AIBU?

you still had to move seat.
they still disturbed you, you mentioned it op\yet this is yet another weekend disability bash.

While you munch it, perhaps you'll find time to read the thread and see that the conversation moved on. But, thanks for making my point that you don't have to understand text to enjoy a show...

What a shame your "point" was so badly made.

I won't give you a biscuit. It's such a childish thing to do.

Suppose you could say it's tough luck yes. Rather expensive tough luck though. And I've seen the 'happy birthday' girl's mum's fb comment and I'm genuinely glad that she had such a lovely time and was singing through the sheer joy of being there.

I moved seat to get away from the family who were talking loudly non stop, I realised that I would still have the happy birthdays but there wasn't much I could do about that.

It's a difficult one and I can see both sides as I have a relative with learning difficulties who loves theatre but will sometimes make involuntary noises and a DH with Aspergers (it was still called that on his diagnosis) who would get highly distressed and irritated by someone making a noise and 'not following the rules' in the theatre as would I (in the process of aspergers diagnosis.). It doesn't mean I don't empathise/sympathise with the person making the noises, but it would distress me enough that I would find it hard to enjoy the performance. ( and in the OP situation would probably have to leave as I'd feel so stressed out and DH would almost certainly not be able to stay either. With milder 'interjections' I think I'd be able to 'suck it up' enough to stay, as, as others have said, those people can't help it and have as much right to be there as everyone else, I certainly wouldn't complain as a rule, though.)

Of course, if theatres didn't charge quite so much for the tickets then it would be much easier to bear - having say a £10-15 performance that you might be able to see again spoiled by noise wouldn't be so bad as having a £50-£100+ performance that you had been saving up for months to be able to afford spoiled.)

Well I think the conversation on FB between Jason Manford & the girls mum puts an end to this. It was her first time at a non-quiet performance, it was one of the most important moments of her life so far (let's hope mum isn't a mumsnetter or that special moment will be remembered for a different reason) & the cast were smiling about it & loved it.

I'm reminded why I love the learning disability world.

ARGH!! I should preview my posts before posting - that was terribly badly worded!!

In short - Of course the 'noisy' party should not have had to leave, but I can also understand how 'inclusive' can also exclude others. It's a difficult one, but I think the 'better' solution is how things are now, with everyone having equal access to shows. But that if tickets were cheaper people wouldn't begrudge being 'disturbed' quite as much. Also, as others have said, "relaxed" performances really are few and far between and also its would not be fair at all to restrict certain people to just those performances.

Dixie - it certainly wasn't my intention to bring out the GFs or disabilists. I think for the most part people on this thread have been well behaved and can see both sides of what is a difficult situation with no easy answers.

Sorry quiet performance

I don't think it is tough luck Lou.

I think losing hundreds of pounds isn't bad luck.
If your experience spending that much was ruined on holiday or such then it would or should be sorted.

It should be sorted here too whether reseating or refunded or reticketing where possible the complainer. not to the detriment of the person with SN.

Well. I am NT and a theatre goer and thats how i would view it if it happened to me.

Or maybe read happy birthday girls mum's post in Facebook and share in the joy.

I don't think Jason Mumford can control the audience's experience and tell them if they were bothered or not. I know that's not what he's doing but that's what seems to be implied by a pp. being up on stage and being in the audience are completely separate experiences.

On stage you get paid whatever noise comes from the audience. In the audience you pay through the nose even if your enjoyment is ruinedand you cannot hear what's going on. It's easy for Jason to say he doesn't mind, it's not costing him anything. And he hasn't been looking forward to it for weeks.

There's an awful lot of people on that facebook page saying how much they loved Friday nights show - so I don't think this one little girl singing can have ruined the experience for the whole theatre!

Quietly asking at the box office for a refund or a replacement ticket is, I think, fine if you have had an expensive evening ruined.

Publicly complaining about someone getting to enjoy an experience they are as legally and ethically entitled to as anyone else is not fair. I'm not saying you are like this, OP, but it opens up the way for people to come onto the thread and say that people with disabilities should not be there.

And, as I said upthread, yes, I think people with disabilities that mean the noise is intolerable should 'suck it up' because theatres, generally, are quiet, rule bound places and that means that your other theatre going experiences will probably be fine. But, for the vocal disabled person, it will be never be fine if they are always seen as a disturbance and asked to move.

Fucks sake. Why do I always end up reading these threads? You'd think I'd have bloody learned by now .

*@Superaspie thank you for posting that link. It's a very moving and heartwarming read

So, if you are prevented from enjoying or remaining in a performance because of disruption from someone with SN, then you are no different from any other NT member of the audience in that it's a one off occurrence, unlikely to happen to you again. So I'd say that yes, the other person's right to remain in the theatre would 'trump' yours because you can go again and be happy whereas every time they go someone will get upset.

You mean I can just leave my autism at home and suddenly become NT next time I leave the house? Wow that's brilliant manic nobody has ever told me this before

This thread has also taught me that because I'm sound sensitive thanks to being autistic then I'm a "special snowflake". Wow thanks for that I guess.

Neouf and January my posts about Manfords comments were because someone pages back said it must be distracting and off putting to the actors on stage.

I have already said that imo if peoples experience of the show is ruined they should have the opportunity to move or be refunded with no detriment to the SN person.

My DS is totally blind and Autistic. He is a very relaxed and very quiet boy. He doesn't make any nouse in theatre. We are going to see another performance at the Hippodrome soon and after reading this thread I'm dreading people judging him.

Similar issues here Virgin, one of mine has a sensory disorder and would not cope with shouting out repeatedly and would become very irate.

If I then removed them from the theatre they would become hysterically upset. Hence I don't know what the answer is.

The chances are we couldn't afford to go again and tbh every time we do go we seem to end up sat with noisy , drunk or annoying NT people.

AVirgin - what is your answer then? Chuck out the person with LD's? A lot of autism groups are inaccessible to my severely autistic son because they do not cater for his level of need. To the point where if something is designed for autism I don't bother trying. At times needs clash - until there are many more relaxed performances or enclosed boxes then this is going to occasionally happen.

I have to say I have been to a lot of matinees including many people with LD's (watching my son - so repeated matinees of the same show - and it does tend to be matinees that people with LD's go to - book an evening show and it's unlikely to be any sort of issue) & never really had any disturbance. An occasional shout or a 'look it's