AIBU regarding theatre experience?

[WildBelle]

I took my DDs to the theatre last night as a treat. I was up to my neck in uni work all xmas holidays so we didn't really go out and do much, so I got us tickets to see a show that I knew they'd both love. I hope I don't offend anyone with this post, I have a dd with a disability so that's the last thing I want to do.

Throughout the first half there was someone in the audience who kept singing happy birthday VERY loudly. This ramped up significantly in the second half, it was pretty much constant and very distracting, and then was accompanied by someone else who was making very loud noises (and sounded quite distressed). i am assuming that they were older children or adults with learning difficulties. Now don't get me wrong, I am completely behind the idea of people with disabilities having access to theatre or anything else, but in the second half particularly the noises coming from that direction were so loud that it was impossible to hear what was going on on stage.

If someone had a baby that was crying, they would have taken them out to avoid disturbing everyone else. I can't help thinking that the carers should have done something about it, particularly when it escalated in the second half. I personally feel disppointed that the show was ruined a bit by not being able to hear, as a single parent it's not something I can afford to do that often. There was probably getting on for 1000 people in the theatre and they would have all been affected by the noise levels.

I probably sound horrible and I really don't mean to, but AIBU?

Thank you for explaining Dixie, that is helpful

This thread is certainly changing my opinion

Many theatres put on shows specifically for anyone who might have difficulty accessing one of their standard performances. My friends little boy is on the autistic spectrum and they go to these because he's likely to shout out

That's what I thought. Our theatre calls it a 'relaxed performance'
Better to double check that this wasn't the case before complaining.

LouKout

I know they are, I've been to a few, with both of my children who have ASD? One of whom is spirited and noisy, and one who isn't. I think you may have misread or misunderstood my statement.

When both parents have finished their argument with, 'why is your disabled child more important than my disabled child?' there will be no satisfactory resolution for either party. That was what I said, and I don't quite understand your reply.

I shone my torch and asked if they would be really nice and be quiet for other people and made the sssh motion with my fingers to my lips and they did for awhile

My DD wouldn't have known you wanted her to be quiet because she wouldn't have understood the words, or the gesture to be quiet. She makes a lot of whooping noises when she's excited and nothing will stop her. If I took her out she'd be upset because she'd been enjoying herself.
She loves musicals, which I can take her to because most of the time the songs are louder than she is. The talking bits I die a little bit from embarrassment - so I take her less often than I'd like to which is a shame for her, but I suppose fewer people get the show spoiled for them.
I wouldn't take her to an Oscar Wilde production.
I think you were lucky that they were a level of SN who could understand you and comply. It's rarely the case.

Just because you cannot speak does not mean you have nothing to say.

Its not to do with more important. Its to do with people forbidding others from going. Quite different than being noisy so others dont enjoy it.

We are going to London next week with my Mum who has a terminal condition, it is costing my Dad £130 for the train, £120 for a hotel and around £400 for theatre tickets. Something he has only been able to afford due to a one off payment he has received. It is the show my Mum wants to see 'one last time'

If he spent £650 and the show was ruined because of a lot of constant noise (and in my experience the noise isn't usually as constant as the OP with those with SN) I think she is perfectly entitled to be unhappy and upset that it was ruined for her and with an expectation that the theatre will do something (re seat her or refund her etc). Coming back would not be possible but she should at least have the chance to see something else instead while she is there. Even with that though I know she would be devastated.

It isn't unreasonable to expect to see a show you have paid hundreds for and be able to hear the music and speech.

I don't think that that is unfair at all.

That doesn't stand to mean that the person making the noise should be asked to leave though IF the noise is involuntary and the person cannot control it.

Like I said my own child with special needs might struggle to sit still, focus on the show and not talk so I constantly remind her to do so, if the child or adults special needs is at a level where that would have no effect then fair enough..

"Im afraid you cant claim barring people with a disability is a reasonable adjustnent for your child P00P, so the law is not on your side here."

It's not a bar on people with disability, it's a bar on people making noises. So indirect discrimination, which is legal if justified, not direct discrimination, which is illegal.

Its not justified though. You are claiming it is? Really?

Shakespeare isn't about understanding every word. Go and see something like a Propeller production of Dream - it doesn't need or encourage awed silence - it's about fun.

You cannot tell anything about understanding from how someone presents.

A play isn't just text or spoken word though, is it?

Take opera, for example, mostly sung in the U.K. In Italian, French or German. Enjoyed by people who don't speak any of those languages...

What a non point. The clue is "sung". Nobody goes to see an opera based on the quality of the libretti.

I have only the vaguest idea what the actual text of say Hab mir gelobt or Verdi Prati is ( on firmer ground with say L'Amour est un oiseau Rebelle and obviously When I am laid in the Earth is a doddle) but all would be spoilt by someone singing happy birthday during them.

It would be spoilt more by getting chucked out every time you went..

"Its not justified though. You are claiming it is? Really?"

Of course it's very easily justified. If other customers are unable to hear the performance then a theatre cannot function. That's a good example of objective justification.

Whereas, say, McDonalds, can still sell burgers if there are people making noises, a theatre cannot function if people cannot hear the performance.

So roses you'd be fine with being barred from going to the theatre based on something you have no control over too, for example your eye colour?

Luckily the theatres dont agree with you and don't ban people on such grounds. And function fine.

lass RTFT!

That point was in response to a post querying if people with LD could even understand theatre, not whether there was background noise in the auditorium.

roses hearing a play is only one element, not the sum total of the experience.

Loving all these fictional instances of outrage on here from people who have never actually experienced this from either perspective.

It would be spoilt more by getting chucked out every time you went..

I have never actually been at an opera where there has been any disturbance from the audience. Usually there is no audience noises of any kind.

Possibly carers realise that a 2/3 hour opera is likely to be an unsuitable event for someone who can't control involuntary outbursts of Happy Birthday. You seem to be under the impression such a person's right trumps every other audience members' rights.

And you appear to be under the impression people should be banned from coming

funny how the op had to ask to be moved due to nt people making a noise, yet her gripe is with disabled people making a noise!!

That point was in response to a post querying if people with LD could even understand theatre, not whether there was background noise in the auditorium

What are you on about? Someone (you?) made a spurious claim that understanding the text wasn't important. No it isn't in an opera but some one bursting into Happy Birthday will still ruin it for everyone else.

And you appear to be under the impression people should be banned from coming

And what do you suggest? Just tough luck if the performance were spoiled? Or do you also subscribe to the view that if you don't like buy a dvd?

Ironically the Mum of the child mentioned in the OP has posted on Jason Manfords Facebook page about this.

I won't put the Mums post up but Jason's reply shows he wasn't bothered by it and the Mum in question has said it was the first none relaxed performance her daughter had been to and how much she loved it.

Actually it made me remember they do sing happy birthday in the show and I wonder if they had been watching the show in preparation.

Have a lass.

While you munch it, perhaps you'll find time to read the thread and see that the conversation moved on. But, thanks for making my point that you don't have to understand text to enjoy a show...

slowhandclap

Zacky - the NT people talking were annoying but only affecting the people sitting immediately around them. They were fucking annoying but moving to another seat meant they didn't affect me. There was nowhere in the theatre to sit where you wouldn't have been have been able to hear the people with LD.

Do i suggest its tough luck on the very unusual occasion its spoiled by someone with LDs? Yes. Thats how i view it