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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed that people think something's wrong with my DS?

70 replies

Jennyfromthehood · 03/02/2017 14:33

My DS has just turned 16 months. My DD was an early talker, by 16 Months was very talkative.

My DS says Mama (not dada), can roar when he sees a dinosaur, baa when he sees a sheep. He babbles a lot and babbles as if he's trying to say something to me but it makes no sense.

HV said he's behind on his speech. Other mothers I know say that there's something wrong with him because he can't yet speak e.g autism

I've only ever had experience with my DD who was very vocal. I'm extremely upset about these comments and don't know what to do. Do I need to start taking him to speech therapy? How do I go about it?!

OP posts:

LittleBoat · 03/02/2017 14:35

If your HV thinks he is behind on his speech - what is she doing about it? I would speak to her again and ask for specific advice.

FittonTower · 03/02/2017 14:36

The health visitor thinks he's behind? At 16 months my son wasn't really talking but at 2 he won't shut up. Does she have concerns other than his speech because that seems very very early to raise issues?

Morphene · 03/02/2017 14:38

Did you try baby signing? DD didn't have many spoken words at that age, but she had around 200 signed words?

Anyway I think 16 months is still well within normal range for starting to speak, so I would not be worried and would point this out to anybody who isn't getting it.

Original poster

Jennyfromthehood · 03/02/2017 14:41

I had to take him back to the HV because when he had his 12 month check he couldn't stand unassisted - he started walking at 13 Months and is now running so she just wanted to sign him off on that but mentioned that he should have more words than he does by this age.

OP posts:

CecilyP · 03/02/2017 14:41

Sounds pretty normal to me. Seems very odd that your health visitor thinks he's behind as she sees loads of babies whereas you only have one child to compare with. And other mothers just sound like they want to make a drama out of nothing. Like Fitton's, my DS had few words at this age but was talking in sentences by 2.

FrumpleMum · 03/02/2017 14:42

Please try not to worry too much. All kids are different and all develop in their own time. He's still so young, there isn't really anything you can do at this stage except wait and see how it all pans out. In all likelihood he'll get there in his own time. I took my son to see a speech and language therapist when he had turned 2 and was still only saying single, one-syllable words. He's 4 now and as it turns out he actually has a speech and language disorder (but not autism), speech is still difficult to understand etc. But at 16 months he wasn't really any different from lots of other children (especially boys) so it was only as he got older that his issues became more apparent. Sorry, I don't want to make you worry or imply that your son will have speech problems too. The opposite in fact, I'm trying to say that I'm sure your little boy will be just fine, but I'm crap at getting it across!

MimiTheWonderGoat · 03/02/2017 14:45

That's ridiculous! My toddler was an early talker but her (especially male) friends weren't even saying much by 2, never mind 16 months.
We had an hv flag up my daughter as "behind" because she hadn't learnt to clap and wave by 9 months. We just hadn't thought to teach her to clap and wave at that point..

IrishTwin · 03/02/2017 14:45

Please don't worry I have 4 children, two of them didn't talk till they are 3, one talked early and ones only a baby so who knows!! It's very normal for some children ( dare I say boys- not all of course) to be a little behind initially with their speech though I know a lot of children who can't say at lot at 16 months!! Don't you worry he will be talking by the time he is 16 😉

BalaRua · 03/02/2017 14:46

I wouldn't have thought this was a problem at all. Strange she's flagged it up imo.

LaContessaDiPlump · 03/02/2017 14:47

God, my DS2 had a grand total of 10 words at 2.5 and I took him for assessment because I was getting worried. He then proceeded to develop very rapidly and now doesn't shut up!

I wouldn't worry too much.

Hullabaloo31 · 03/02/2017 14:48

I wouldn't panic at 16 months. My son was speaking in sentences by that age, you could hold a full converation with him. My daughter seemed waaaay behind to me in comparison, she was barely saying anything before Christmas (so up to about 20 months) and then had a HUGE language explosion over Christmas and has now easily caught up to where my son was at that point. No shutting her up now and she only has to hear a word once to get it. Even nursery have commented on how fast she's gone from bugger all to nattering away! At that age, I'd give it a bit of time.

empirerecordsrocked · 03/02/2017 14:52

Dts had about ten words at 18 months, about a week before their second birthday they were talking in full sentences.

Isn't the old sating walking at one, talking at two anyway?

Ylvamoon · 03/02/2017 14:53

Don't read to much into it! My DS was closer to 3 when he started taking "properly". We even had a speech & language referral from nursery because they couldn't tick all the boxes with a letter of other areas where he was behind.

4 years later and be is the most talkative & social little boy you can imagine (you know, the annoying little....).
Let him grow at his own rate!

Teatowelfairy · 03/02/2017 14:53

None of my DC have been early talkers tbh but when they turned 2 it was almost like they woke up one morning and could say loads then when they got to 2 and half it was like they'd swallowed a dictionary.
Dc2 did need SALT but not until he was 3, many children have salt at some point but it doesn't automatically mean that they have other difficulties or a learning disability so I wouldn't focus to much on unqualified people telling you that he does. Personally I would speak further to your HV about it.

strawberrypenguin · 03/02/2017 14:54

Sounds ok to me. They have a language explosion around 2 if I remember rightly

SpookyPotato · 03/02/2017 14:58

16 months is so little still, what is she on about!? My son is nearly 3 and only just starting sentences. I don't get this huge rush for them to grow up. If they were totally silent and not even any babble then there could be a problem but otherwise they are just progressing at different rates.

SideOrderofSprouts · 03/02/2017 15:00

My third is also 16 months. My older dds were very early talkers and walkers. Ds is not. He babbles a lot. He says a few words and blows kisses claps etc etc. but he's an adventurous boy. It will come
When it comes

lovelyleftrubbishright · 03/02/2017 15:00

He's not even behind! Your health visitor is an idiot.

Everyone accepts that children generally start walking between 9 and 18 months but everyone expects children to be saying x words by y months with barely any deviation. Weird!

SquinkiesRule · 03/02/2017 15:01

Don't panic, my second was a later walker and talker. First was up and running by 9 months and chatting to me at one year.
By age two the second child had caught up and was walking and talking fine. He made lots of made up words till nearly two and then it must have all suddenly fallen into place as he went straight into talking in sentences.

Dontrocktheboat · 03/02/2017 15:05

I have one child who had delayed speech and 2 whose speech developed normally. Of the two who have no problems don't think either were saying much at 16 months! My dd started talking more at 18 months and by 2nd birthday could talk in short sentences. My youngest ds was probably even later than that though I could tell having had one child with a specific problem that his speech was developing normally and now at 2.5 he seems to have had a recent exponential burst. I definitely would not worry at -16 months unless there are other signs like not babbling/ not understanding. But if you are worried at all the usual first advice is to get hearing checked.

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 03/02/2017 15:06

My daughter had no words at all at that age. One day she said one word then nothing again for a while. She didn't even wave until she was around 16/17 months. Now, at 4, she talks the ears off of anyone who will listen!

alphabetaspagetti · 03/02/2017 15:06

My child had next to no words at 18 mo (would babble and point) and it was flagged to my amazement by the hv- he did start talking by 22 mo and we couldn't keep him quiet after that but he subsequently was diagnosed with asd. So in retrospect the hv was spot on in our case.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 03/02/2017 15:07

For heaven's sake! Please ignore these daft people.
16 months is very early to be saying much at all, though I know some babies do talk very early - my dd1 did.

A Bil of mine barely uttered until he was 3. My MiL once told me that she'd been getting very worried, but once he started, it came out in whole sentences. He had just been taking it all in and biding his time.

He went on to be awarded a scholarship to Cambridge.
Please, fret not!

luckylucky24 · 03/02/2017 15:26

My DD is the same age and says mama, dada and hiya. HV not bothered. My DS had loads of words at her age so yes sometimes it bothers me but every child is different.

CheerfulMuddler · 03/02/2017 15:27

I think the problem you have is confusing 'behind on his speech' with 'must have autism'.

The HV is NOT saying there's something wrong with him. She's saying 'he's a bit behind on his speech'. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong - after all, about half of kids are going to do things earlier than average, and half are going to do things later, very few are going to do them bang on time.

All she's saying is, let's keep an eye on this and see what happens. Agree with everyone else that 16 months is way too early to worry.

The other mothers are just being dicks. Ignore them.

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