To be annoyed that people think something's wrong with my DS?

[Jennyfromthehood]

My DS has just turned 16 months. My DD was an early talker, by 16 Months was very talkative.

My DS says Mama (not dada), can roar when he sees a dinosaur, baa when he sees a sheep. He babbles a lot and babbles as if he's trying to say something to me but it makes no sense.

HV said he's behind on his speech. Other mothers I know say that there's something wrong with him because he can't yet speak e.g autism

I've only ever had experience with my DD who was very vocal. I'm extremely upset about these comments and don't know what to do. Do I need to start taking him to speech therapy? How do I go about it?!

Have a look at this book - Small Talk by Nicola Lathey. It has exercises and games for you to do with your child and also explains when you should / shouldn't be worried about speech development. I found the book helped a lot

It found it very upsetting when random people said my son was probably autistic because he had speech difficulties. You have to ignore them.

You won't get a referral for speech therapy at 16 months.

Please don't worry my youngest DS didn't say his first sentence until he was 2 and a half, HV said it was because he had older brothers and they did the talking for him. So I asked his brothers to try and teach him some new words and encourage him to speak. Shortly after this we were out on a walk and two lovely old ladies started to smile and say hello to my boys, youngest DS waved back and spoke his first sentence which was...'hello son of a bitch ladies' I scuttled off down the street cheeks burning with shame, but at the same time proud he'd finally strung a sentence together!

DD1 one was a late talker and even now she only talks when she actually has something to say. DD2 on the other hand doesn't shut up all day long and talks for the sake of talking. DD2 also walked on her knees until she was past 18 months. She could walk on her feet, just couldn't be bothered. I used to put her in dresses hoping her knees will start hurting and she will finally stand up, not realising that babies/toddlers knees are not bone but soft cartilage so she felt no pain and just happily carried on.

I wouldn't worry about your toddler not having many words yet. But I do know that HVs and other health professionals do sometimes hesitate to say or hint rather clumsily when they think parents should be doing more to interact with their children; talking, playing games, singing together etc. Do you think they could be trying to encourage you to do more to encourage him? I'm only suggesting a possibility, but it's also often true that it's harder to find the time or energy to do that stuff with a second or subsequent child.

16 months is still early. My son was referred to speech therapy at 20 months as only had a couple of words and still has therapy at 6 years old (though his speech is coming along). What I want to say is, it's a good thing that the HV has flagged it as something to be watched. There may be no problem at all - some kids just start a little later - but IF there is an issue as time goes on just get him assessed. If there's a problem the sooner he's in the system the better esp. as there can be long waiting lists to get SALT in some areas. Also speech delay does not = autism so ignore anyone who says that. Let a professional diagnose your child if you need it. Personally, I'd say it's too early but keep an eye on it...

sounds normal to me!! My son was the same at that age and is progressing fine as far as i can see, i never had any comments of the HV! Is your HV particularly experienced? Because as far as im aware its within the realms of normality for boys not to be speaking well at that age. Girls are usually faster but not always.
My LO is 20mnths and cant really say that much but is clearly not unintelligent. He can say 'whats that?' and he can do all the animal noises and name quite a few different foods. Can say mama, dada and nana. Can name some animals. Can say up and down, bed and night night. He can also name five body parts and show you. He can say 'no' but not yes (says GA instead of yes). He can say Hello and Bye Bye and Baby. He can name a few items of clothing and show you. He can say 'bricks' and he can say Spoon, Bowl and Cup.
So he doesnt seem that far ahead of your child and he is older!
My next door neighbours daughter is younger than him and can say whole sentances and even knows how to say his name when he comes round!
Children just develop at very different rates sometimes. Unless theres other indications of autism i really wouldnt worry too much about it because it sounds in the realms of what is considered normal i dont understand why your HV would have said he was behind?

PS Your HV can refer you to a speech therapist if you need it.

My twins had no words whatsoever at two. I wasn't concerned because it was very clear understanding was there and everything else fine. One of them saw a paediatrician at two and she was very concerned and made me go to HV about it. HV rolled her eyes having seen it all before and asked if 'I' was co cerned, and said come back in three months. Three months later they were chatting away like they'd been talking for ages.

What do you think- is the understamding there

Oh. DS is 16 months, can just about walk and says a handful of words but not especially clearly, mostly it's just babble. He doesn't seem behind to me just seems like a baby

My niece flat out refused to talk till she was two years old. Then whole sentences came out.

I'd keep an Eye on it if I were you and maybe talk a bit more to him. I wouldn't worry because at this stage their development is soooo different and I don't kniw if it is that usefull to compare. At about four years old they all can do roughly the same.

My brother didn't speak because I acted as interpreter. My mother was frantically worried because I had a huge vocabulary at the same age. She was told that firstborn children are usually more vocal and that he would catch up. Took a while, he was even a bit behind in primary school, but he is the one with the PhD, not me.
I don't think you need to worry.

This thread had me super worried, I thought DD was exactly where she should be in terms of language and will be 17 months next week. OP I don't know where your HV is getting her information from, this is the guidance on a reputabe website that a quick Google has brought up:

[Most, but not all children, can say at least six words by 18 months. If your little one isn't quite there yet, there are likely to be lots of other signs that she's eager to communicate. Your toddler should be able to follow simple instructions from you, such as "Pick up your teddy."]

My DD can say around 15 words and is more confident with a few signs. She understands far more than she can say, and is beginning to pick up words fairly easily. I would ignore your HV tbh, if you have your own concerns, either speak to your GP or do your own work with your DC, I've found DD is suddenly quite attentive to trying to pick up new words and even try counting over the last couple of weeks, so we're practicing lots. We've also read books with her since she was tiny.

If you do think your DC doesn't communicate well non-verbally as well as verbally, it may be worth looking into some suport to help them along. Otherwise don't worry and play it by ear, I'm sure your DS will be chattering away very soon enjoy the last few weeks of adorable babbling

That's rudiculous. My ds didn't speak till he was 2 and the HVs and nursery all reassured me there was nothing at all to worry about.

My dd had one word other than mama and dada at that age - bye bye. She didn't meet any of the targets speech wise until 2 when she started talking in sentences suddenly! Unless there's other things to note I wouldn't worry yet.

Boys, on average speak later than girls, and second (third, fourth etc ) babies speak later than first ones because their siblings tend to anticipate their wants (so they don't have to ask for stuff) or speak for them (ditto).

Babbling is a very good sign as is recognising different animals and producing an associated vocalisation.

It sounds as though he is a sociable baby (i.e. he is interacting with you when you show him different animals) which means that autism is unlikely - and there is no problem with him saying "mama" and not "dada" because babies develop control of their speech apparatus from the lips backwards This is because they can see what is being done to produce a lip-related sound (e.g. p/b/m) and it is easier for him to copy. /d/ is produced by tapping the tongue behind the alveolar ridge (above the teeth on the hard palate) - he can't see how it's done, and so takes longer to acquire.

So:

1. Is he interacting with people - and does he seek out interactions or just respond to them?

2. Is his babbling communicative? i.e. does he try to make himself understood, even if the words are "rubbish"? Babies often have their own "babyese" and will consistently use the same "word" or sound to mean a particular thing.

3. Does he point at things and vocalise/babble at all?

4. Does his sister (or do you) anticipate what he wants etc so that he has no particular need to speak?

5. Is his hearing okay? If you have any doubts about this, get him checked properly. The distraction test the HVs use is a waste of time and tells you nothing.

6. Is his vocal apparatus good? Not short-tongued or anything?

7. Does he understand what you are saying to him? Understanding is always ahead of production. From what you say about recognising animals and producing an appropriate sound, it looks like he is.

8. he is still very young -don't try to force him (by that I mean, if he's (say) pointing at his sheep and babbling, don't try to make him say the name).

He is most probably just a later speaker than his sister (though without seeing him none of us can say for certain, obviously), but also remember that there is a huge range on the autistic spectrum and even if he has a problem it may be very mild.

Just keep interacting with him and encouraging him - but if you are worried, please see your GP and ask for a referral to a Speech and Language Therapist. S/he can examine him properly and ensure he is meeting the milestones forms developmental level. She will be able to advise if he needs any help, and (very importantly) set your mind at rest if he is developing normally.

Learning to talk is not a competition, but many mothers make it into one - don't let other people stress you out. Einstein apparently didn't speak at all until he was 4.

My son didn't really talk until reception age. At nursery he could only say 'what you doing?' and 'where you going?' plus the usual mumma, dadda stuff. He couldn't say his sister's name or the name of his favourite toy. He also made noises for cars, tractors etc instead of the word. Now, at age 7, he does not stop talking. At all!

16 months is very very young. My DD didn't really speak til she was 3 and a bit. Her nursery referred her for SALT but by the time her appointment came through(when she was 4) she was fully caught up. The SALT assessed her and told me that actually her speech was quite advanced for her age. They catch up so quick, please don't worry.

At 16 months my DD said "yeah" and my others said very little. All spoke fluently by 2.5

DS1 didn't really talk much until he was 2 and it wasn't until he was 3 and at preschool that he really started to "get it", we now can't shut him up (he's 7 and his vocabulary is massive, he's well ahead at school especially with his reading and vocab).
DD1 talked quite clearly and in sentences at 20 months but she's a quick learner and had DS1 to copy, she's not massively ahead of her peers at preschool at 4.
DS2 is 19 months and only has a couple of words but he has good comprehension and vocalises well, DS1 and DD1 tend to talk for him or talk over him so it's likely to have an impact on his speech.
I've not seen my HV since he was about 10 months old and I'm in no hurry to do so!
I'm expecting DD2 and to be honest when her speech is developing I'm not going to be worried unless she's not engaging with the world around her and has little or no comprehension
What I'm trying to say is, all children are different and arrival order when there are siblings can have an impact. From what you've said I wouldn't be concerned, I'd be telling the other mums to wind their necks in (but I'm a bolshy bugger) and just take what the HV says with a pinch of salt. If he's still not really talking in 6 to 9 months then I'd be asking the HV to test and refer.

My 2 were both late talkers and both had hearing problems. So I'd keep an eye on it purely for that aspect, hearing's so important. Our HV didn't want to know about DD as I had raised it as an issue my MIL (a HV) recognised, she just kept asking if I was worried. But I didn't know if I should be worried - that's why I went to her! 😩
I'd just be aware of expecting 6 words by 18 months and go from there. (That's one of the checks my MIL HV used to do)