Oh holy fuck I need to move house immediately. And change my name and possibly have facial surgery.

[EssieTregowan]

We live in a detached house. There is a small row of terraced 'starter' houses opposite (this is relevant).

I can back from the school run to find a hand delivered card on the mat to 'Rebecca'. Rebecca lives opposite in one of the terraces, but I couldn't remember which one.

Anyway, I've just seen her pull in so I dashed out the front to hand it to her. She apologised for the inconvenience and I laughed and said 'no worries, who ever it was obviously thought you were better off than you are!'

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

I just went all shivery as soon as I said it and turned round and ran indoors. Oh my god what must she think of me?

I have often crippling social anxiety and often blurt out stuff without thinking but this has to be my worst ever.

Kill me now. It would be a kindness.

I think the note is perfect. Perhaps even add on 'I don't trust myself to open my mouth again as who knows what will come out next' or somesuch to explain why you've not gone in person.

Or take the note over and say I'm sorry, here's a note. She probably is having a right laugh about it - I'm going to search for the 'Wait to you hear what my neighbour said' thread

Oh dear, oh dear, oh sodding dear!
Other than that, I'd say, either ignore it like it didn't happen....or (tough one) go over there and explain that, you know how it sounded, but you really didn't mean to put her down.... you're a bit shy, and it came out all wrong! Good luck!

Oh. My. God. That actually made me squirm OP. I may die of second hand embarrassment yet. You will tell us what happens next time you see her, won't you? Or maybe she'll move away from the terrible neighbours and you won't get the chance to explain

Hyacinth Bucket is alive and well!

Just move. You could maybe give Rebecca the house by way of apology?

Oh dear. I can appreciate that I you have social anxiety knocking on the door might be a bit hard. Why don't you do the note but include some flowers or a box of doughnuts or something, as a gesture?

I know you didn't mean to say it, but if it were me and my neighbour told me I was poor and didn't have as nice a house as them I would be quite upset so I think you might need a slightly bigger gesture than just a note.

I'm no help. I'm killing myself laughing whilst dying inside for you.

I'd share my equally mortifying gaffs with you, but for my own sanity I lock them away in a dark place never to be relived.

I honestly wouldn't worry though, she probably just thinks you're a bit bonkers 😁

(Sorry for double posting but) Do you think there'll be another post on MN now about the "snobby neighbour who delivered my letter and took the earliest opportunity to have a dig at my house and circumstances"

I was at a party, my sister in law gave a glass of sherry with a slice of Christmas cake, The sherry was really nice so she refilled my glass I said "it's really nice, cheap sherry much nice than the expensive stuff".
I have no idea if she splashed out or not and I am no way a sherry expert.
The more I tried to bluff my way out of my foot in gob moment the worse it got.
My brother was pissing himself,

I once accidentally made an horrible 'joke' about a really bad disaster. It's not even what I wanted to say but I opened my mouth and words came out, as I was saying it I realised what it was I was actually saying so then I tried to explain myself and it made things worse.

We all do it. It doesn't make it right but at the same time I don't think you need beating over the head with it, and I think it says a lot more about the people who do choose to shame you than it does you.

My DH asked our neighbours "When are you going back to Poland?

that's actually made me cry a bit! BREXIT gaffe or wot

I've been there, I'm thinking of getting a T shirt labelled "I think with my mouth".
You should only go out at night for a few days.

We have all done it. I speak to mums daily on the school run who say things that imply I am nowhere near the same social platform as them so I wouldn't even find that offensive and would love it if you made the effort to apologise. Get ready for the fact she may act like you are over-reacting by mentioning it again.

Baffledonthisone if you read the thread you'll see that Tourette's is no joking matter. It's offensive to people who genuinely suffer from it.

As the OP hasn't been back in a little while I am hoping that she's currently sat in Rebecca's kitchen having a cup of tea/coffee and both laughing (OP cringing still) over the gaffe. Really hoping that's the case and not that she's curled up in a ball hiding under her dining table!!

She didn't say anything. I fled. I mean I literally ran back into my house and slammed the door.

This makes it even more comical. Sorry OP.

Invite her over for a cup of coffee. In a beaker. She won't be used to fine china.

Invent an illness that requires morphine. You may need to get a wheelchair in a couple of years

And just realised that I have a friend called Rebecca who lives in a terraced house (well, it's a flat) and it was her birthday this week so a handwritten card would be a possibility!! There's a car park opposite though and the nearest houses facing hers are quite some distance away!!

Yes, Floggingmolly, and on the slim chance this is the case, let's keep beating the OP with a big stick saying how crappy her thoughts are.

OP I think the fact that you're agonising over this shows that you're a nice person. I'm sure your neighbor would understand if you went and had a word with her or put a bit through the door.

I once picked up some cheap crockery from a car boot sale for my brother who was at university. While chatting to the stall holder I said "its for my brother, he's a student and doesn't look after his things so I don't bother buying him anything nice".

Me to BT engineer: "Ha are you doing Movember?!"

Him: "No"

I agree with king she may not even have noticed.

Bit? Note!

Oh OP, not read full thread but you have my total and utter sympathy. I do this kind of shit all the time. I also (because I'm nervous and would rather not be having to chat at all) blurt out all sorts of irrelevant crap and overshare . I know it's not that you thought it and then said it, as someone suggested. You didn't think it. It just came out.

FWIW if you'd said that to me I would have felt my heart warm towards a fellow crazy blurter :)

I would try to apologise and say that wasn't want you meant to say at all, and explain you are shy and always putting your foot in your mouth. If she's a nice person she'll forgive you, and if not, don't worry about it.

I wouldn't leave a note - she'll think you're demented. She's going to think you're a snobby cow anyway but at least that's better than a snobby loon.

In a beaker

Chortle