...to ask whether people still feel judged breastfeeding in public?

[Trifleorbust]

What are people's experiences of bf in cafes, shops, etc?

I am taking my newborn out more regularly now. I've noticed there are lots of mums out and about in Starbucks, M&S, local cafes etc, but very few breastfeeding their babies. In fact I am the only one I have seen (normal town centre). It doesn't make me feel awkward but I am curious about why this is. I know around 20% of mums are bf by 6 weeks so I would have expected to see fewer mums feeding their babies this way, but am surprised to see none.

I'm wondering whether people are feeding at home or mixed feeding when they go out? Whether they feel there is still public censure about bf in public?

Please no comments about how people choose to feed other than as relevant to the thread (how it feels to feed in public).

I'm in Norfolk, and bf ds in public a lot when he was wee. He's just dropped his last feed aged just over 18 months. But was ebf til 6 months and fed a lot in cafes etc. Same experiences as you though op, never see anyone else at its. Never had any comments either.

Oh yes but a couple of positive comments. Elderly couple in a garden centre cafe kept looking over, honestly expected them to say something negative. They both came over and peered at ds and my boob and said how lovely it was to seen.

Cherry I think I only knew because I read it on here! I was talking to my mum about this last week, apparently when I was a baby (mid-80s so bf not protected in law) she would ask places if they were happy for her to feed there and if they said yes, she and her NCT buddies had made stickers for them to display to advertise that they were breastfeeding friendly. She's generally quite conventional and non-confrontational, so I was impressed at her getting out there and doing that!

I fed all the time outside (cafes, benches, restaurants, transport) until 12 months and never once got a single look or comment.

Didn't feel comfortable feeding outside much after that as she was walking and big and probably would have provoked some kind of response by the wrong people and to be honest, she was old enough to have a snack and wait until we got home. Not judging anyone who does at all, just saying how I managed to avoid any negativity whatsoever

Prepared to get slated for this (although I don't agree to anyone getting grief for how they feed their baby, I'm sure I'll get some on here) But...one of the reasons I chose not to bf is because I would absolutely not feel comfortable doing it in public. I don't even notice if other people do and see this as a positive thing but I would not be able to do it.

When I was breastfeeding my two children, we lived overseas and in an area where it was very common. I fed them pretty much where ever and when ever, without judgement or indeed a feeling of being judged.

We brought both the children back to visit family in the UK, and I did the same 'when ever, where ever' thing but was very aware than I was very much in the minority. Since we've been back living in the UK I've noticed more and more that I rarely see breastfeeding mums. And I don't think it's a demographic thing, just seems to be how it is.

To answer the question though, nope, never felt judged. I had some lovely chats with people, mostly older ladies reminiscing about having tiny babies to feed, but nothing negative. I wish I had in a way though, I'd have loved an argument 😅

LilacSpatula: Not at all and I honestly don't think you will get grief. The comments so far have been incredibly supportive and understanding of the fact that it is intimidating, particularly when you first do it!

My dd is 9 months now. I bf in public all the time. I've fed her on a packed train in central London once and didn't get any funny looks or comments. When she was tiny I tried covering my boob/her head with a large Muslin. But after a couple of try's I realised it was too much faffing and a lot easier for her to feed and to be discreet without it. The only time someone has told me I shouldn't breastfeed was at a stay and play at my local children's centre. It was another mother who thought breastfeeding a six month old was breastfeeding for too long.

Bf all three of mine (youngest now 12). I fed wherever we happened to be and only ever received positive comments except for one occasion.

We went into pizza hut and I asked for a table at the edge of the room in case I needed to feed. The server suggested we could sit in the middle tables and go to the toilet to feed.
I'm afraid I fixed her with my best stare and asked if she was seriously saying that the toilet was an appropriate place to feed a child! This was dc3 and I had had plenty of time to determine how I would deal with this if it came up.
I got my side table and an apology.

DS is nearly 10 weeks. Bf him in public from him being 4 days old. I initially just kept repeating "it's only a nipple, it's only a nipple!" In my head. Now I'm happy to bf whenever, wherever. Only had positive smiles, can I get you a water offers etc, and an older lady squeezing my hand and telling me to enjoy him being small "Enjoy the first steps and first words, before you know it they're 5 and you're telling them to sit down and shush because you can't hear yourself think!"

Littledrummergirl You've reminded me of the only time I ever got similar ridiculous "advice". I was out in the Bullring in Birmingham and DD was teething and a bit tetchy. I asked at the information desk if there was a baby/parent area and was told that there were toilets available. I asked if there was anywhere comfortable to sit as well (mainly because DD had got to the gymnastic feeding stage and draped herself on me in various poses whilst attached at the boob). Lady said I could use the toilets. I very firmly said that there was no way on earth that I was going to feed my child in such unsanitary conditions and she immediately directed me to M&S, even walking me most of the way there. Had a lovely comfy chair thank goodness. I didn't really fancy becoming a spectacle and showing exactly how much DD could stretch my poor boob whilst being fed

Thank you trifle

I was judged three times that I remember. DS was formula fed as I've had a double mastectomy. I had three different women come up to me when I was feeding him and make pretty nasty comments and tell me I should be breastfeeding. WITH WHAT?!?

I Bf 11 months
Frequently sat opp friends who never realised just assume ds was snoozing!!

I'm still BF my 3yr old and now also my 4 month old. I fed DD wherever and whenever until she was almost 2, but after that I stupidly felt a bit ashamed to be seen and kept it only for home. I kind of wish I'd been a bit braver and just gone for it. In all that time I only ever had one woman tutting at me on a train once, but so many lovely comments from different people. Ladies of a certain age seemed to get a bit misty eyed and tell me about their fond memories of feeding their babies. It was all a nice feeling of unity and very heartwarming.

Initially I used to put a blanket over my shoulder but it was a right faff and I felt it made it all the more obvious what I was doing. I may as well have painted "tits out under here" in big letters on the blanket!

Now DS is here I'm back to whenever and wherever. It hardly registers that I might get a couple of stares, I'm pretty slick at it now and I doubt you'd have any idea what I was doing. Two tops, one up one down, slight shoulder turn away from whoever might see, it all just looks like a cuddle.

It's been a lovely time and I have every intention to one day be a lady of a certain age telling young mums what a good job they're doing

I was very comfortable feeding in public, I never felt judged or anything and I fed her out a lot until she was about 2.5. I am still feeding her now and she is almost 5, she hasn't asked to feed in public in a very very long time. I am not sure if I would feed her if she asked.

I bf in public all the time. No one even glances at me it's so normal. DC3 is 3 months now and dc2 bf for a year. Every mum of a baby that I see does the same. Having said that, I live in north london.

One of my friends bottle fed and she said she felt awkward bottle feeding because we live in such a bf'ing area. Such a shame anyone should feel awkward feeding their baby - bottle or breast.

I never felt judged or uncomfortable. Even sitting on the floor of the reptile house at London Zoo! If baby needs to be fed I didn't mind feeding them wherever I was. I never got any comments, positive or negative.

I only ever got one comment about feeding in public, and that was from amy then 6 year old brother when we were at a family dinner, Nanna pointed out to him it was just baby's dinner and how would he feel if we all went ew at his food and he apologised to DD

I wonder if you haven't noticed many mums because actually its not that obvious, I have 5 much younger siblings, who were all breastfed, so mum was breastfeeding one or more children from the time I was 9 up until I was about 18, it was very rare I actually saw her boob, she used to turn away a bit while she attatched whichever baby and then it just looked like she was cuddling a baby.

I think there's a big difference between actually getting judged, or people perceiving that others are looking and disagreeing. I would carry on regardless no matter what anyone says.
I BF both children, so when I BF DS it wasn't really something that many did. Surprisingly I felt comfy to feed in front of family too, which I thought I'd be shy about.
Just a word of warning, although this may have happened. During a growth spurt they tend to cluster feed, stuck sucking and screaming if taken off. You need baby to be on the breast to increase supply, even if it looks like dream feeding. You'll know when this happens as it'll be out of the blue. You'll be worried that baby isn't getting fed, but the more they 'feed' the quicker new milk will come in.
A good excuse to munch some lactation cookies, think about taking fenugreek I think it is. You'll smell groovy, but it's worth it.
I thought I'd post as your DC is newborn so there's a chance this may not have happened.
I'm glad I can offer constructive advice after the fun and games on the bus thread.
Anyone looks just ignore them, it's totally their fault if they associate breasts with sexual objects. They're clearly not as you have a baby attached to one getting sustenance!

DS is months and I still bf in public if I need to although feeds are much less frequent now. I've always fed him in public but have never been a 'natural' breastfeeder as the easiest position was with bf cushion in rocking chair which obviously wasn't practical in a cafe! He'd always pull off too which was probably because I was sitting awkwardly so my nipples were on display a fair bit and I found a cover a real faff. I remember feeding him on a picnic bench at a local pub and it was so uncomfortable as no back of bench to lean on and it was so awkward. I glanced up just in time to see a lady at another bench put her baby under a cover and latch him on really quickly and easily then carry on drinking her drink looking really comfortable- I was very jealous!!!

DS is 8 months!

Oops forgot to reply to question ! Never encountered any negativity at all

Never in the States. Not once. Quite often when I return to the UK. It's not unusual to be nursing a toddler here, in Britain I've had some really nasty comments.

I breastfed both my babies in public. If I was alone I would try to find a private space (just in case of any abuse) but otherwise I would sit on a bench or in a cafe etc and get on with it. Never had any negative reactions (that I was aware of).