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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to ask whether people still feel judged breastfeeding in public?

169 replies

Trifleorbust · 02/02/2017 17:46

What are people's experiences of bf in cafes, shops, etc?

I am taking my newborn out more regularly now. I've noticed there are lots of mums out and about in Starbucks, M&S, local cafes etc, but very few breastfeeding their babies. In fact I am the only one I have seen (normal town centre). It doesn't make me feel awkward but I am curious about why this is. I know around 20% of mums are bf by 6 weeks so I would have expected to see fewer mums feeding their babies this way, but am surprised to see none.

I'm wondering whether people are feeding at home or mixed feeding when they go out? Whether they feel there is still public censure about bf in public?

Please no comments about how people choose to feed other than as relevant to the thread (how it feels to feed in public).

OP posts:
hellomarshmallow · 02/02/2017 18:06

I don't think it's very noticeable sometimes, people often think DD is just sleeping in my arms. I have fed all 3 DC in public and have never felt awkward (unless I've worn unsuitable clothing and felt uncomfortable). I try to give new mums a smile when I see them bf to show some friendly support.

whoneedswings · 02/02/2017 18:07

I've fed DS 6months in cafes, restaurants and pubs, parks, the beach, church, in a sling walking round Tesco, service stations, waiting rooms, all over! I love BFing and don't want to trapped at home. Never had anything but smiles and comments about what a cute baby he is. And I don't use a scarf/ cover because it puts him off (it would me to!)

hellomarshmallow · 02/02/2017 18:07

pineapple it gets easier though when they can latch themselves on. Bus feeds might be possible later on Smile

AuntieStella · 02/02/2017 18:08

It's a decade since I breastfed, and my youngest continued until she was nearly 2. I never encountered any hostility, intrusiveness, curious glances, or had any bad experiences at all.

And I fed all over the place, though would try to make sure I was in a reasonably quiet/comfortable place (nicer for us, but I suppose also meant I was not being 'in your face about it' either IYSWIM as that's discreet by default). But even on a bus, or at the back of a church during the service, or during a school open day for her big brother, or countless other places, never any reaction that was perceptible, let alone unwelcome.

PonderLand · 02/02/2017 18:08

I felt too self conscious to bf in public. My lb wouldn't latch right from early on and it was always a battle. He fed like a dream until 6 weeks then something changed. He got diagnosed with reflux and cmpa at 4 months old. But by that point I was already combi-feeding when we went out.

PineapplePunch · 02/02/2017 18:09

Hello marshmallow, what age do they start to latch on themselves?

Orangebird69 · 02/02/2017 18:09

15mo in and I've never felt uncomfortable or judged whilst bfing in public.

Gatehouse77 · 02/02/2017 18:09

I fed mine wherever and whenever they needed it. I have no idea if anyone else was bothered. Firstly, I couldn't have given a hoot if they were and, secondly, no one ever said anything.

PotatoWaffleCob · 02/02/2017 18:10

I bf in a busy cafe and on the tram today but I doubt anyone noticed as I wear nursing clothes and we both had multiple layers of clothing on. Just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean we aren't there.

I have bf two babies now and I have done it everywhere, anywhere and whenever. I don't plan my day around feeds. I'm not embarrassed and have never received any negative comments or looks. As I said, I use nursing clothing but that is what makes me comfortable. Go for it!

PonderLand · 02/02/2017 18:16

Daisyqueen Do you not agree with bottle feeding when out? Your comment sounds very judgemental.

BertieBotts · 02/02/2017 18:17

It never bothered me.

WaitrosePigeon · 02/02/2017 18:19

I've never had any bad experiences, I was very lucky. Did it for over a year with both kids.

BertieBotts · 02/02/2017 18:22

BTW, it's only exclusive breastfeeding which has dropped to 20% by 6 weeks. Around 60% of mothers are still giving some breastmilk at 6 weeks. And these figures are from the 2010 infant feeding survey, they never did another one. Trends show that it's likely the numbers would have increased by now.

RingringWhoIsIt · 02/02/2017 18:23

I was scared at first. Terrified in fact. But I soon got used to it. The only negative comments I had were from my dp's family, in public people rarely noticed and when they did they tended to smile. Once or twice I got some definite scowls in my direction but that was certainly the minority. DD is 2.5 years and still breastfeeds but since she was about 1 or maybe 18 months she rarely asks for a feed outside the home. The few times she has asked outside the house has been after she's hurt herself or something, and by coincidence we'll have been the only ones in the park or whatever. If I was to feed her in public now I probably would go out of my way to find a quiet spot...I always did that anyway but know I'd get judged a lot more now she's older so would be more cautious than I was.

firawla · 02/02/2017 18:24

I bf wherever needed, but I wear hijab and everything is covered so it's probably not v noticeable unless someone looks really closely, or I bf while carrying in a sling which is even less noticeable. The other day I had dd feeding in sling all the way to school and back to pick up my other dcs but to look you would have had no idea!

I felt quite anxious about bf out and about with my first 2 and ended up bottle feeding while out which led to formula feeding all the time as I was out a lot! With ds3 I just got on with it and somehow got more confidence, and now I don't care I will feed anywhere

TheMasterNotMargarita · 02/02/2017 18:25

BF DD 9 years ago out and about everywhere.
Now the same with DS 5 months. I think you just don't notice it as mostly people are discreet and it often looks like baby is sleeping.
No one has ever commented and I wouldn't mind anyway. Baby needs fed, baby gets fed. Most people are too busy with their own concerns to pay attention.

sweetpea75 · 02/02/2017 18:25

and both of mine from birth till 9 months. Did it everywhere I needed to. Never received so much as a dirty look.

OnTheUp13 · 02/02/2017 18:26

My DD is 18 months and still BF. I can think of 2 occasions where someone said something negative. Both times were men in their 30s. But I got loads of positive comments and usually from older people.

JaniceBattersby · 02/02/2017 18:30

Breastfeeding baby number four here (not all at the same time...) and have never had a single negative comment. Have always felt comfortable feeding anywhere and everywhere. I'm not bothered about flashing boobs but I do feel awkward if my top isn't long enough and my flabby tummy or jeans overhang gets an airing.

ToneDeafHamster · 02/02/2017 18:30

I have breastfed pretty much everywhere, DD is still feeding at 2.5 years old. Most of the time people don't notice. I was horribly self conscious to begin with but now I don't give a toss. Never had abad comment, but I think I look a bit scary anyway! Wink Have had a few good comments though.

The pivotal moment for me was the first time I had to feed in public, I panicked and hid away behind a building, where I thought it would be quiet, typically loads of people walked past! One of them was a woman who gave me a massive smile, it really made me feel more confident. I never looked back after that.

MargaretCabbage · 02/02/2017 18:33

I have a four month old who I breastfeed anywhere and everywhere (usually on public transport, walking in the sling or in cafes), and either people don't notice or have been quite friendly to me.

However, last week I went to a new playgroup for the first time and I was made to feel a bit awkward by some other mothers. When I started to feed my baby a group struck up a loud conversation about how it doesn't matter how you feed your baby and all the reasons formula was working for them and kept glancing at me. It was weird because they didn't say anything horrible but it was clear that they had assumed I had some sort of breastfeeding superiority complex. It's the first time I've experienced anything a bit negative.

Mermaid36 · 02/02/2017 18:34

I'm currently breastfeeding 9 month old twins and I feed all over the place!
I don't tandem feed in public very often (I need too much room!), so mostly feed one after the other.
I have never had any problems or nasty comments. Lots of surprise that I'm feeding them both or still feeding at 9 months.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 02/02/2017 18:34

I've had plenty of admiring glances from other mums/old dears.

I had a lady come up to me in BHS (before it folded, obvs) to say it was nice to see someone breastfeeding in public as you don't see it often nowadays.

Most of my family have been incredibly supportive apart from 1 person who thinks breastfeeding babies is "spoiling them".

TopangaD · 02/02/2017 18:37

I had no negative experiences bf in public, ( have bf and ff) on the other hand I have had awful experiences whenbottle feeding in public.. worst was in a cafe one day a woman scowled at me the whole feed, and as she was leaving told me I was poisoning my child Confused and her heart broke for her...!!!!
Where I live bf is very much the norm which is positive and negative
I hate hearing of bf women being victimized, but I also hate women being shamed the same way if they use a bottle.. in my case I was unable to physically feed my child and kept feeling like I had to explain that or make excuses, when I bf in public I didn't feel that need.
Should explain I have 2 children

Coastalcommand · 02/02/2017 18:38

I find it harder than I thought. I need to be braver about it! Too much hiding in the car/toilets. Need to be more confident!

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