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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DC (7&9) alone

150 replies

iismum · 02/02/2017 14:59

I go to the gym before doing the school run a couple of days a week. I leave the DC at home and they get on with getting ready for school on their own (usually, but there's time to nag them into if they haven't). DH is in but usually asleep, so they can go and wake him up if they need to but they never do.

DH is going to be away next week and I'm really not keen to miss my gym sessions as I'm training for an event and this is crunch time. We live in a flat and know everyone else on the stair. We have friends on the next floor down who have a DC of a similar age and will be in at this time getting ready for school themselves.

WIBU to leave the kids on their own in the flat for around an hour whilst I'm out, explaining that if they need anything they should go downstairs (outside our flat) to the neighbour rather than upstairs (in our flat) to DH?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 02/02/2017 17:45

Is it fv45? I'm learning here so genuinely curious. I would have thought safety in numbers - if one hurts themselves, the other is there is get help?

Willyoujustbequiet · 02/02/2017 17:47

No chance

Please consider what your priorities are.

tillytown · 02/02/2017 17:48

Instead of the gym, can't you run up and down the stairs and do some weights in the living room? That's what I do but I'm broke and can't afford the gym

arethereanyleftatall · 02/02/2017 17:51

There are some great fitness videos/yoga videos etc on YouTube. Or squat jump up the stairs, run back down, repeat.

cowssheephens · 02/02/2017 17:52

Oh come on OP!

harleysmammy · 02/02/2017 17:54

Surely the gym isnt as important as the kids? It can wait. 7 is definitely too young, 9 year old could possibly be okay but still too young in my opinion and i would never leave my son on his own until he was a lot older. Just do it at home, why risk it

Lugeeta · 02/02/2017 17:58

How far is the gym? I think leaving the 9yo is fine. If they get on well and don't fight and you alert your neighbours the night before I don't see why leaving them both together is so bad. We have family in holland and they walk to school on their own from 6yo which can be up to a mile. I think it teaches children skills to be independant and if you start young and build up, your children will be better equipped than the children whose parents still walk them to school in year 7!

SocksRock · 02/02/2017 17:59

Get a cheap intensive exercise DVD off eBay, insanity or something like that, and get them to join in with you :-)

jcne · 02/02/2017 18:08

I think it's just selfish.. if it was for something more important then maybe, for the gym? No

mummyhappiness · 02/02/2017 18:09

No. 7 and 9 are too young to be left alone.
I have only just started leaving my DC (12, 13 and 9) for 45 mins to go to my spin class ( one early Eve a week) and grandma is in granny Anex next door.
Do your Workout at home

Maryhadalittlelambstew · 02/02/2017 18:38

No, you're not unreasonable.

Your neglectful with screwed up priorities. How on earth do you even have that ask?

Maryhadalittlelambstew · 02/02/2017 18:39

*You're

arethereanyleftatall · 02/02/2017 19:08

I don't think it really matters what the op is leaving the dc for. You either think they'll be fine on their own, or you don't. What you're doing doesn't affect their safety.
There are many cultures/countries out there who would have no problem whatsoever about this.

Creampastry · 02/02/2017 19:16

So the gym is more important than your kids..... really??!! Wow!

allowlsthinkalot · 02/02/2017 19:45

No, definitely not. I have left my 9 and 7 year olds for ten mins, no longer. My nine year old for half an hour. But never a car ride away. I'm quite relaxed but no, in this case I wouldn't.

allowlsthinkalot · 02/02/2017 20:22

I wouldn't leave them to get ready for school on their own to go to the gym tbh but leaving them alone in the house while you go is a real safety issue.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/02/2017 20:27

It makes a difference that it's a flat though doesn't it compared to a detached house? And that you know the neighbours downstairs. You could lock the outside door, then open the two flats front doors, and it's no different to being in a different floor in your own house.

unfortunateevents · 02/02/2017 20:41

You could lock the outside door, then open the two flats front doors - the OP said they know everybody on the stair, which suggests that there are far more than two flats in the building. I actually think a flat might be more dangerous than a house because you have multiple people coming and going in the building, and more possibilities of people leaving the front door open, which would be particularly dangerous if the OP followed the suggestion of leaving the flat door open as well.

CripsSandwiches · 02/02/2017 20:43

I can understand not wanting to miss training but I do think 7 is too young. Could you go after school and have them go home with the neighbour (or another parent)?

harderandharder2breathe · 02/02/2017 20:43

I think it does matter what she's doing. If it was something unavoidable and unchangable people would be more sympathetic and there are strategies to put in place (although I still wouldn't do it, even if I had to ask neighbour to babysit and pay them). But leaving them to do something entirely optional and selfish, less sympathy

BellonaBelladonna · 02/02/2017 20:43

No. Wierd priorities imo

Hewillalwaysbemyman · 02/02/2017 21:48

After reading some threads on here tonight, I wonder why some people bother having children! Is the gym really more important than your children?

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 02/02/2017 21:51

I can't believe you even asked this

Crucnch time Hmm

MsJudgemental · 02/02/2017 22:15

I used to spend about an hour in the house on my own between coming home from school (had my own key) and my mother getting home from work when I was 7. I also used to get the bus into town to meet her sometimes. This was in the late 60s when kids used to do their own thing and were much more self-reliant. Only you know if your kids are mature enough to be left alone. Definitely used to leave my son alone for a while when he was 9.

MsJudgemental · 02/02/2017 22:19

Mummy You've only just started leaving teenagers alone for less than an hour with their Gran next door? Seriously?!