To want to decide if/when my children are introduced to iPad/tablet?

[Bejeena]

Title says it all really.

My children are 3.5 and almost 1

I am fully aware that screen time for them is inevitable but I personally think that my oldest is not ready. He has more than enough to keep him entertained and learn from his toys. I do also let him watch TV in moderation.

However grandparents seem insistent that he would benefit from games/apps etc on the ipad. I personally think he has too much going on already. I know it is going to be an issue next time they (in-laws) come over and I feel like they want to overrule my decision. They keep showing my husband apps they use with other grandchildren to try and get him to agree and allow it. On the whole my husband is with me on the no tablets but isn't that against him having a go on grandparents one. I am, I feel it is our decision when we start him on things like this. Of course husband's family all think I am being mean and trying to be controlling.

For what is worth no they don't provide us with any childcare apart from odd night for us to go out whilst they are in bed (say once or twice a year).

Is my wish that unreasonable?

My kids have been on screens sInce I can remember. Both bright as buttons, also love reading real actual books! Oh and also great at coding so screens aren't all bad. I for one could not have survived parenthood without them but hats off to parents who manage it!

I'd keep them off it for as long as you can. Our school actively discourages too much screen time and I don't like it either. My FIL bought my 5yo an iPad for Christmas. I was not impressed but she'd already opened do I couldn't take it off her. To be fair it has been useful for long car rides but the novelty in the house soon wore off as she is so used to playing with her actual toys. Unfortunately my 3yo is much more 'into it' and we have battles on the occasions he has used it. He just gets so sucked in he's oblivious to anything else and then kicks off when you take it off him. That can't be healthy.

I'm in the delay camp.
DS didn't get a kindle until he was 10/11. Before then, he used technology at school, did a bit of homework supervised on our desktop, was allowed to play a game on DMs laptop when he visited and occasionally used DH phone to amuse himself for five minutes or so. He certainly wasn't left behind in anyway.
I'm not sure if the fact he is a bit of a bookworm has anything to do with this...
At 13 however, he is constantly looking and faffing with his phone which is irritating but he is only allowed to do this when homework and chores done.
Overall I feel we have approached this whole screen time business with a sensible 'everything in moderation' approach which appears to have left us with as normal a teenager you could hope for.
Oh and screen at table, at home or out, has never been allowed.

...left behind in any way

We bought a tablet for our 3 year old last year (he's now 4) because we were going on holiday and we knew we would have a long flight and long drives when we were away. It really was an absolute godsend for those journeys, but now we limit the time to long journeys, meals out, weddings etc as it can calm him and keep him still for a while. He rarely had it indoors and even then it's only for an extra special treat.

I am absolutely with you and I don't get how people of our parents generation can think its okay to put a 2 year-old on an iPad. Did they do it with their own children? No. So why do they think its okay to experiment with this generation of youngsters? I have read a few articles saying that all the real tech-savvy people, like Steve Jobs and others who work with IT Do NOT let their children have screen time from an early age and severely limit it as they get older. Just tell them that.

An iPad is a particular brand. Calling all tablets, iPads is like calling all cars, Mercedes. FWIW I wouldn't introduce a tablet early. There's no harm in encouraging imaginative play for as long as possible. Children won't miss out by not using computers before they start school. They pick them up very quickly.