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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To live most of my life in my own head

246 replies

LionRichie · 01/02/2017 18:32

Today, in between playing with the toddler and doing all the boring house shit that comes with being a SAHP, I've spent maybe 80% of my time fantasising about a life in which I'm kidnapped by a hot 19th century highwayman. Turns out I'm an amazing sword fighter even in a corset and flowing dress.

Does anyone else make up these complex imaginary scenarios or am I going insane?! AIBU to spend most of my time in my own daydreams and not care?

OP posts:
Lorelei76 · 02/02/2017 00:17

OP wrong century but have you seen Plunkett & Macleane?

MrsRhettButler · 02/02/2017 00:17

So glad I seem to be normal!
Basically all of the above.

FlowerOfTheValley · 02/02/2017 00:20

Another daydreamer who loves reading. I used to be an introvert although I'm a bit more of an extrovert in small groups who I feel comfortable with these days.

I've daydreamed for as long as I can remember. I still have a fantasy life daydream which started when I was a teenager. I'm fantastic at all the things I'd love to be able to do but can't do well. Rock star, artist, multi talented sportswoman, brilliant mimic. I have a healthy large family. My ex loves me to bits instead of treating me like shit.

I daydream to get to sleep.

MrsRhettButler · 02/02/2017 00:28

Oh and I'm definitely an extrovert although I LOVE my own space and my own company above all else and I'm a reader.

MrsRhettButler · 02/02/2017 00:29

We pretty much all seem to be readers.
Maybe it's the imagination you get from reading.

romany4 · 02/02/2017 00:37

I thought this was just me!
Very introverted, shy in social situations and have devoured books every night since I was a child.
I have several different lives going on in my head but the main one is I live with Jerome Flynn in his remote farmhouse on the Pembrokeshire coast. We have several children and spend our days walking on the beach, hand in hand, while our children play around us.
And he dresses up as Bronn in the bedroom whenever I want Blush

BlueFolly · 02/02/2017 00:37

I do this and I'm an extrovert. An only child extrovert.

morningconstitutional2017 · 02/02/2017 00:43

I'm an introvert who loves reading. In my dreams I have loads of money and a beautiful cottage at the edge of a seaside village. The cottage has topiary in the garden with hollyhocks by the picket fence and roses on each side of the front door. Plus of course instead of just having a couple of bookcases it's big enough for me to have a room entirely devoted to books - my very own library. Love it.

ChaircatMiaow · 02/02/2017 00:49

I'm an introvert and do this. I also have an irrational fear that people can read my mind and know what I'm imagining. Shame.

ChaircatMiaow · 02/02/2017 00:50

And to add, yes I'm also a reader.

SoleBizzz · 02/02/2017 01:25

Extrovert here. I do same!!!

ShelaghTurner · 02/02/2017 02:02

Can we have a MN quiche? One that goes on for 27 threads? I've always wanted to be in one of those!

Oh no, wait. That'll take away from our inner life time! Wink

LoupGarou · 02/02/2017 02:16

I also do this, I'm not an introvert though, nor an extrovert, somewhere in the middle.

Currently I am a writer living in a small cottage in the forest in bumfuck nowhere when Barack Obama gets snowed in with me, devastated that Michelle has left him to be Trump's mistress as she just couldn't keep her mitts of the First Lady role. Naturally I help him heal because I am selfless and magnanimous. Grin

alicedrablow · 02/02/2017 02:31

This is a fascinating thread! I consider myself to be an introvert and a reader, but I don't have fantasies to the same extent you guys do! My inner world usually consists of conversations that I will never have with other, real life people, or plans for my garden.

I think I may try to develop some sort of inner world, though. You guys seem to find it a great stress reliever, and I find that if I am stressed then my inner conversations with real people become obsessive. The idea of partaking in a spot of swashbuckling is far more appealing than constantly telling my irritating co-worker exactly what I think of her!

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 02/02/2017 03:43

Yes, yes, yes. Introvert, reader, chronic daydreamer.

I have a few alternate lives. My favourite is probably being an indie film starlet dividing my time in New York and LA and meeting famous celebrities who are in awe of my raw talent, classic beauty and the fact that I'm just so real. I'm the one to watch, really...

My real life is so fucking mundane. Blush

SingingInTheRainstorm · 02/02/2017 04:06

MorningConstitutional you'd love my house, when I was Little Miss Fantastic I got my book collection going, I've got 3 6ft bookcases doubled up in books on allsorts. I had more but DH moaned about space. So I had to apply the brake!

I've been a book reader since young, always shy / introverted. Have an idea about a character to write books.

My day dreams usually involve cottages by the coast or day dreams about being somewhere scenic.

Oh in my last day dream, the farmer is a guy from London who worked in finance, he inherited he parents farm when they decided to move to France to renovate a Chateau. The old lady I live with invites him for tea, he usually stays till supper which is his award winning cheeses and crackers. The old lady has really nice sherry to drink it down with. I think she is a great aunt who I went too asking if she minded if I park my car down her lane and sleep in it whilst I visited the area. She would have no such thing, I was really deflated, then she offered me an outhouse that her husband had renovated into a flat over a studio.

It's all so quaint, she makes the best brewed tea, swears by earl grey in the morning. We drink it whilst in comfy chairs, reading the newspapers. Her husband also made a room into a library, there's every book he collected, in the front sleeve he wrote in pencil when he got it and how many times he read it.

We're miles from anywhere, no one knows the track to her house exists as you have to drive down a lane that you wouldn't know was there.

I've been to the farm house too, it's massive and has a swimming pool, it's pretty super modern, but the man would rather it had the older qualities of the cottage.

Once there was a storm and the farm is all electric, he got the animals to safety then came to us as we have fires in each room and an abundance of candles.

NC1nightstand · 02/02/2017 04:13

Wow, cannot believe there are so many of us! I have been this way since childhood and I love it! Definitely helps with my writing and being creative in general. Although it's a massive part of my life I have only ever talked about a little with one friend and she had a similar rich interior life so I already knew she wasn't going to look at meConfused!
Happy dreaming you beauties!Grin

MrsBlennerhassett · 02/02/2017 04:15

singingintherainstorm you are my new hero! thats an amazing fantasy.
Its all in the detail lol!! I love going over the same scenarios over and over and changing details and even who i am in the situation (wife/mother/OW/daughter/friend/even the male characters sometimes)
until i get bored with that particular setup and move onto another.
I also daydream about people i know or see on the street and make up life stories for them and insert myself into the narrative (well a better or more interesting version of me) I do it constantly!!
I am fairly happy with my own life but ive done the intense daydreaming ever since i could remember and i do think it benefits me because i have no fear of lonliness at all, i know ill never be alone when i can be anywhere doing anything with anyone i want at any time in my head!!

MrsBlennerhassett · 02/02/2017 04:20

Im not an introvert but yes i was an intense reader throughout my childhood altho not so much now. I am a devotee of cinema and music is the main thing, i love to listen to music and daydream i could do that for days at a time if i was left to!!
Id be interested in hearing if anyone finds that this negatively impacts on them?
Sometimes i feel that maybe id be more productive if i wasnt doing this and that i may have achieved more in life if i had more drive to create these situations in reality?

Goodythreeshoes · 02/02/2017 04:23

Welcome to my world OP!

SingingInTheRainstorm · 02/02/2017 04:41

I can't remember if I said it started as a child as life wasn't great and I loved books.

I also love music and I love driving random places. I love listening to my music louder than I really could at home. Sometimes singing along. I am the crazy person you'll se sat in traffic on a motorway (stabdstill) singing and possibly maybe seat dancing.

I'm certifiable I know.

I'm just crazily creative and whilst an introvert, I also tend not to think I look dead weird blasting out my music, which is all of fantastic taste.

I remember making friends with someone years back, I can get no reading, but not liking music, any music, that did stun me.

Music too is creative, I might lose some street cred but there's certain artists who just have a way with words. Like fiction, poetry, stage plays.

I don't think I'm time wasting, if something needs to be done it gets done.

In real life we invented a friendly monster when DS was 2 who would watch over him whilst he sleeps and protect him from the baddies. DH wasn't so keen when said monster became a part of our life more full term. Like DS refusing to take a first day at Children's House picture because 'said monster' had to comb his hair. Then the monster took a sinister turn, if anything got messy or broke the poor monster had to take the blame.

Life is too real for children in my eyes, all the electronics, the must have stuff. Plus they don't have the same freedoms as we had as children.

Runny · 02/02/2017 07:58

I've been doing this all my life! I find it helps me relax and de stress. In school I used to struggle to concentrate in lessons though because I was so busy daydreaming.

I'm also an introvert BTW.

guest2013 · 02/02/2017 08:30

I've done this for as long as I can remember. I'm not an introvert though but an avid reader.
My inner world has been going on for years, people come and go as they do in real life and my main character has my children as I couldn't bear to not include them! But they are fathered by different people 😂
It's becoming a bit complicated as I named my actual daughter after my main character so now I've had to think of something to call her in my paracosm.
It's such an integral part of me now and I've always wondered if others do it. Glad to know I'm not alone.

Polarbearflavour · 02/02/2017 11:04

I'm glad it's not just me.

Willow2016 · 02/02/2017 11:21

Singing
I am one of those people too with the music blaring and me 'singing' and 'bopping' in the car Blush
I also incorporate songs into my fantasy if they fit the situation, I am definately certifiable too.
But seems like I will be in good company when the men in white coats come for me Smile