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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To live most of my life in my own head

246 replies

LionRichie · 01/02/2017 18:32

Today, in between playing with the toddler and doing all the boring house shit that comes with being a SAHP, I've spent maybe 80% of my time fantasising about a life in which I'm kidnapped by a hot 19th century highwayman. Turns out I'm an amazing sword fighter even in a corset and flowing dress.

Does anyone else make up these complex imaginary scenarios or am I going insane?! AIBU to spend most of my time in my own daydreams and not care?

OP posts:
TarragonChicken · 01/02/2017 20:38

Totally me. Can I ask, have you discovered fanfiction? Grin

Cinderpi · 01/02/2017 21:10

Not just me then! I've always wondered...

Tarragon Chicken - fanfiction is to blame for having to pull all-nighters at university!

TheProblemOfSusan · 01/02/2017 22:24

Tarragon - yes. Very much so. If I had put as much effort into my actual life as I have into daydreaming and reading fanfic I might have a life worth fantasising about now!

TheProblemOfSusan · 01/02/2017 22:28

I've just remembered about a really fulfilling world I used to have that I'd stopped e playing in. Thank you everyone for the reminder - I'm going to spend my pre-sleep time brushing up on my previous life as a lonely, stunningly attractive young warrior, spending her time winning battles with sick archery skills and fending off suitors whilst I try to rescue my long lost love.

Spoiler: I get sidetracked from the fending off.

Willow2016 · 01/02/2017 22:28

Wow I thought I was just weird!
Whoooo I am apparently normal (well ish! I like my 'weirdness') I have always had an active imagination.

I do this regularly, during the day and before I go to sleep. Much better than the boring bits in life Smile Have always done it. I am always more brave and heroic than in real life, I am such a bloody 'mouse' and I always get the guy Smile I can have who I want in it, mix and match from tv programmes, books, films etc its my fantasy nothing is impossible.

I also have the most amazing, sometimes impossible and weird but make perfect sense at the time, dreams.

And yes always been a reader too.

namechangingagainagain · 01/02/2017 22:41

I genuinely thought I was the only one who does this...
I often find though that I get a bit sad about "returning to real life" :(
Very much an introvert and find it difficult to understand the concept of "loneliness"

And agree something lost when writing it down.... for example my GoT dreams.....( i am a lady from karstark family. I kick ass. ..... jon snow falls in lovewith me and we run away together)..... is much less satisfying than it appears when I'm there!

irishlass1234 · 01/02/2017 22:47

Sometimes when the alarm goes off and I have to get up in the middle of a fabulous dream, I continue the dream in my head as I'm getting dressed/in the car to work!

And I also make up scenarios in my head before falling asleep, I think this is what gives me vivid and fun dreams! And I also love reading. Hadn't thought of myself being introverted, but maybe I am?! hmmm!Hmm

MrsDustyBusty · 01/02/2017 22:50

I do this too. I'm trying to make it a bit more constructive by making the brilliant day dream me come out in difficult real life situations where I feel stressed and incompetent. So far no joy, but look out world!

Rivera36 · 01/02/2017 23:00

Only recently I have stopped myself from doing this a few times as i was starting to get concerned about how much time i spent "in my own head" I am genuinely surprised, and pleased at how many other do it. Question for those who don't, what DO you think about in quiet times then?

liz70 · 01/02/2017 23:04

"Can I ask, have you discovered fanfiction?"

Yes esp. slash

TheCustomaryMethod · 01/02/2017 23:13

I've written a small amount of fanfic, but I prefer the freedom of creating my own characters and not having an audience to please.

I do read fanfic when I have the time - it's often too time-consuming to trawl through stuff that's not to my taste or poorly written, but it's rewarding when I find a gem. YY to slash Wink.

saucyxjack · 01/02/2017 23:39

I've finally found my people. Done this since I was around 10 or 11. I do it more when I'm stressed, or real life is particularly awful or boring. It helps me, and I enjoy it. Though I do think I sometimes spend way too much time in there. I also go through phases of reading loads of fanfiction set in the same setting I use to daydream.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go help the Inquisitor defeat Corypheus and marry Cullen Grin

JaimeLannister · 01/02/2017 23:47

So glad that I'm not alone in this. I have hugely detailed storylines in my head, some have been going on for years.

Yes to the fanfic too.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 01/02/2017 23:50

Have any of you ever explored maladaptive daydreaming?
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maladaptive_daydreaming

SingingInTheRainstorm · 01/02/2017 23:57

In my head I live with an old woman with cats in a country cottage who does amazing baking. There's a farmer who comes on horse, we go to the beach together, he secretly likes me, at the end of the lane on the path down to the secluded beach one day he will actually kiss me. Not decided when as we've had close calls but always gone oh ermm!
It's a fantastic getaway from suburbia.
Another was being Brienne's best friend on Tarth. (GoT) I got married to her eldest brother and now live in a castle.

Francinelle01 · 02/02/2017 00:02

I'm currently an awesome guitar player but no one knows. I often get the opportunity to stand in at the last minute at some huge gig. Everyone thinks I'm going to be rubbish but then I blow them away and the lead singer thinks I'm incredible. Most of my scenarios involve me being very talented or brave and doing things that impress people. Probably because that's unlikely to ever happen.

SecretWitch · 02/02/2017 00:02

I am an introvert, incessant reader and always have a movie playing in my head in which I am the star. I love my own company and would be happy in a remote cottage surrounded by my cats.

Chilli1 · 02/02/2017 00:04

I love reading, am an introvert, and have a wonderful, but peaceful fantasy life in a pretty village. There's this vet...

MrsA2015 · 02/02/2017 00:04

This is me. In my head I own a little cafe where everybody comes to eat my cakes. And on my days off I'm a surgeon saving livesSad really I'm a SAHM at 25 running around after a 1 year old

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 02/02/2017 00:05

Rivera36, in my spare time (which ain't a lot) I tend to worry about my kids, my weight, money etc. Saying that, I would like to write a Harry Potter fanfiction, not because I have any sort of vivid alternative HP universe spinning in my head but because the ending just really bugs me. Snape should have killed Voldemort (and revealed the double-agent twist then) right after Voldemort took Harry down. No events would've been altered, Harry was still a horcrux and his soul would still be stronger than the slither of Voldemort in him. Perhaps one day I will, however, if I have no time to daydream then I've no time to write fanfiction either.....Sigh!

RedGrapeCornSnake · 02/02/2017 00:06

Daydreamer
Introvert
Love reading
I'd love to be a writer

Always thought I was a bit odd, feels nice to know I have company

Chilli1 · 02/02/2017 00:10

It's really nice isn't it RedGrape. I thought I was the only one, but always wondered what normal people think about when it's quiet.

In my village, I own a craft shop, and I found a grey kitten, this is how I met the vet. In previous daydreams, the same bloke has been a GP, and I was a practise nurse. The village remains the same though.

clumsyduck · 02/02/2017 00:11

Yes !!!
Although mine are boring !! Like il pretend I have a different career and talk about it in my head or like I won't the Olympics or something
Ffs I'm odd

clumsyduck · 02/02/2017 00:11

Won*

HateSummer · 02/02/2017 00:15

I do this too! Also an introvert. It helps me sleep. My daydreaming is usually when I'm on right move and see a gorgeous house, I try to imagine myself living in it and hosting big dinner parties with my big cars parked outside.
My favourite is how I'll be with my kids when they're older like celebrating their GCSE results or them getting a new job or getting married: it's really fun! I particularly like being brilliant MIL to my DIL and spending time with her shopping whilst she's pregnant with my second grandchild. Seeing it written down is really odd Confused. I think I'm weird!