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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To live most of my life in my own head

246 replies

LionRichie · 01/02/2017 18:32

Today, in between playing with the toddler and doing all the boring house shit that comes with being a SAHP, I've spent maybe 80% of my time fantasising about a life in which I'm kidnapped by a hot 19th century highwayman. Turns out I'm an amazing sword fighter even in a corset and flowing dress.

Does anyone else make up these complex imaginary scenarios or am I going insane?! AIBU to spend most of my time in my own daydreams and not care?

OP posts:
TheCustomaryMethod · 01/02/2017 19:27

TheSultano Yes - I do the time travel one all the time Grin. My favourite version is where I go back in time to be myself when I was a young teenager (1980s), but equipped with my current mind and possessions, and astound all the people I knew then (particularly bullies etc.) with such marvels as my mobile phone, plus tales of future technology.

Anatidae · 01/02/2017 19:28

Yup. Totally normal (introvert extraordinaire.)

BreakfastAtStephanies · 01/02/2017 19:29

In my youth I used to ride my horse for miles on my own through some lovely countryside, bridleways and around a disused airfield. Every spinney, little ditch I used to jump, field and hedge seems to be engraved on my brain. I find myself going on these rides in my head. There is a lot of detail e.g. which birds I would see where. I do the exact routes. Sometimes I do the ride where I go to my Grampy's house and see him ( he has been dead about 28 years ).

It's must be the opposite of mindfulness, surely ?

Pidgythe2nd · 01/02/2017 19:29

I think there was a thread about this a few months ago.

Apparently it's got a name...
Obviously different scales if it as this article isn't entirely positive.

I'm jealous as I hardly ever imagine anything, and never anything as complex as you're all describing!!

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maladaptive_daydreaming

acornsandnuts · 01/02/2017 19:29

Yes me too. I'm an introvert and get mightily pissed some days when the kids come in from school and disturb my day in some sunny climate. On the down side I am self employed and it's a bugger of a procrastination tool.

rememberthetime · 01/02/2017 19:30

I am also an introvert - but my fantasy life is simply an embellishment of my real life. I imagine detailed scenarios of what might happen when I next see someone or if i get that job I want. I imagine it in such fine detail it can take hours or days (off and on). I get every detail right and then when it happens it never, ever plays out!

AcrossthePond55 · 01/02/2017 19:30

DH and I both do this. Especially during the period between when we buy a lotto jackpot ticket and when the winning numbers are drawn. We have long serious convos about what we're going to buy and where we're going to live when (not if) we win.

I just worry that one of these days we're going to walk into a Ferrari dealership or a Lake Tahoe real estate office and try to actually write a cheque for something!!

WetsTheFinger · 01/02/2017 19:32

I do it so much I've been writing a book on it for about ten years Smile

toffeeboffin · 01/02/2017 19:33

This is me.

I fantasise about bumping into Kevin Costner in a kitsch mid western coffee shop and sleeping with him later that afternoon. I dream about being rescued by a gorgeous fireman. I dream about winning the lotto. I fantasise about a fancy dinner and a night in a bed and breakfast with my ex colleague.

I could go on Grin

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 01/02/2017 19:33

I do this too... have done for as long as I can remember. I wish I was artistic enough to get my ideas onto paper.

I'm also an introvert who loves reading Grin

lananzack · 01/02/2017 19:33

teawamutu I too daydream a good 40% of my day away about Jamie Fraser! Lol! Among other things also, but mostly about going back in history and being some fair maiden whisked away by a big hunk of bad boy steel. Escapism at its finest. OP you're definitely not the only weirdo who does this! Grin

user1471545174 · 01/02/2017 19:33

This was me too - the daydreams tail off as you get older so if you have any really good narratives, write them down - you never know where that might lead!

Thankfully I still devour print. I can't imagine how bad it must be to dwell fully in the real world.

LemonRedwood · 01/02/2017 19:33

Completely not insane. I have a whole other family who I talk to when my actual family are not around to raise eyebrows in my general direction.

TheCustomaryMethod · 01/02/2017 19:37

the daydreams tail off as you get older

Is that really true - I hope not - I don't know what I'd do without my inner life Shock

MollyHopps · 01/02/2017 19:38

I do all the time. People think it's strange that I can completely zone out of life.

TheSultanofPingu · 01/02/2017 19:39

That's a good one Customary Grin
I usually go a bit further back than that, but the further back I go, the more dangerous it is!

JacquettaW · 01/02/2017 19:41

Me too actually, really glad you started this thread because I thought I was the only one and felt a bit stupid for doing it. I am a bit of an introvert and I love to read

TheCustomaryMethod · 01/02/2017 19:45

Re. writing daydreams down - I have done this occasionally but I always feel I lose something - once it's written down it's somehow "fixed" like that in my head and can no longer be endlessly reworked to make it all the more exciting/comforting/satisfying.

GetAHaircutCarl · 01/02/2017 19:45

Yes, I live complex and multiple lives inside my head.

Sometimes I put enough time aside to write it all down and sell it Grin.

presidentfart · 01/02/2017 19:50

I have lost my ability to do this Sad

MrsBlennerhassett · 01/02/2017 19:55

Yes! lol i was an only child and i think its a coping mechanism. I do this about 80% of the day too. It doesnt matter if im actually having a good time in real life or not i still do it! I love my imaginary world!

BrownEyedLady · 01/02/2017 19:57

Me too! I can keep a particular story going for weeks. I also have vivid actual dreams. I've probably spent more time in my inner worlds than the outer one. I sometimes dream harrowing scenarios that make me actually sob and feel all sorts of emotions. I din't understand how anyone can be bored when you have this endlessly creative space to play in. However, I am very much extroverted.

teawamutu · 01/02/2017 19:57

I'd say how glad I am to have met so many of my own people, but I guess you've all buggered off back to your daydreams... Wink

squishysquirmy · 01/02/2017 20:09

All the time! It's lovely inside my head. I too am an introvert and a bookworm.
Sometimes, I think I should write a book or something. But then I disappear into a long, long daydream about having written a book, and eventually emerge from the day dream a few days later having won the imaginary Nobel prize for literature, so I never actually get around to writing anything.

margaritasbythesea · 01/02/2017 20:22

The relief! I am not the only one.

I am currently consoling an actor who has just lost is wife (he hasn't really) but it's a bit complicated firstly because he is much older and also because I don't want a boyfriend because I am happily married and far too busy. We have such an attraction for each other though ... we yearn.