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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report my colleague for hitting me

821 replies

QueenyLaverne · 31/01/2017 21:43

Colleague (quite substantial guy) who's job is to bring supplies up to our floor, brought some stuff up. He came to find me, I was on break, to tell me and did so in a very sarcastic way. Not unusual, he is a sarky bastard and we don't like him much, but hey ho we tolerate him and are nice to him. I jokingly pulled him up on it and said something like, 'oh, who do you think your talking to!' 'Laugh laugh' he said something else and I was holding a newspaper which I pretended to hit him with, it tapped him with as we were having banter.
He then comes at me and walloped me on my arm, it really hurt, my arm was still hurting at the end of my shift and I felt really quite tearful, not from the pain, (although it did really hurt) but more because I felt really violated.
Can you tell me if I'm being overly sensitive or if this is unacceptable behaviour and should be reported?
AIBU?

OP posts:
sycamore54321 · 31/01/2017 21:52

You didn't pretend to hit him, you hit him. Two wrongs don't make a right but your behaviour was far from glorious. It also sounds like potential workplace bullying by you "WE don't like him". Who is we? Is there a clique against him? Sounds like you think there is. When he speaks to you, he is a 'sarky bastard' but your words 'pulling him up' are just "banter". Can't you see the problem with your own behaviour and attitude here?

Report it as he behaved very badly but so did you. Be prepared for both your actions to be examined. And think about acting more professionally in future.

Twatternatter · 31/01/2017 21:52

Did you not say anything at the time? Like "ouch" or "bloody hell that was a bit rough!"

chinam · 31/01/2017 21:52

I'm not condoning his behaviour but the company I work for would discipline you for horse play as well as sacking him for assault.

JellyMouldJnr · 31/01/2017 21:53

I think you should complain, but in future also avoid any kind of physical 'banter' with workmates you don't even like.

IateallthePies654 · 31/01/2017 21:53

Yabu, you hit him first, he's just much stronger than you.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 31/01/2017 21:55

Nah, you hit him first.

For all you know he could have RSI or similar and your 'tap' was proper painful.

Maybe don't hit your colleagues with rolled up newspaspers?

pieceofpurplesky · 31/01/2017 21:55

You hit him first.
At school (where I work) you would both get in trouble but you more so for instigating and starting the physical contact.

HelsBels5000 · 31/01/2017 21:56

Comparably though, the pain you can inflict with a newspaper is much less than the pain a guy can inflict with a punch.

RJnomore1 · 31/01/2017 21:57

If I was a manager and you complained he hit you, then I investigated and he said you hit him, I'd have to deal fairly with both of you i.e. the same way. Did anyone witness the event?

AtSea1979 · 31/01/2017 21:58

So you hit him and laughed and he hit you and because it was harder you want to report him for assault?
If my colleague gave me a dead arm after I'd whacked him with a paper I'd say it was fair game. But I'd have a stern word and say some like 'oy I used a newspaper, that really hurt, don't do it again' and gauge his reaction.
What did you say to him when he'd done it?

BarbarianMum · 31/01/2017 21:58

"Jokes" are in the eye of the beholder. You can report him but you are not blameless here. I'd be completely humiliated if a colleague hit me with a newspaper - that's what people used to do to dogs.

LouisevilleLlama · 31/01/2017 21:59

It's hard you shouldn't hit anyone at work, which you did but say it was meant to be pretend but you did catch him accidentally for all we know you could have really swung it not planning to make contact or it could have been a small touch, same he could think he only hit you back lightly.

The issue is people often take size to mean they can handle more pain which is untrue he could have a small pain threshold or it could be a sensitive area for him so even small contact could feel like a wallop itself.

I would say be prepared for your hitting him first to be brought up.

Astoria7974 · 31/01/2017 22:00

If I was the manager I'd dismiss you both for gross misconduct. Violence is a strict no no, even if it's just 'tapping'.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 31/01/2017 22:02

Why are you bantering with a guy you don't like?

Rainydayspending · 31/01/2017 22:03

You hit him? You went way beyond the bounds of reasonable behaviour. He reacted, perhaps lashing out as people do when threatened. He's stronger than you. I think you should apologise for crossing the line. He should too, but seriously, it sounds as though you have a grudge. You need to step into a more civil way of handling work situations.

bumsexatthebingo · 31/01/2017 22:03

Not sure why you were 'playfully' hitting someone you dislike so much with a newspaper? Unless you're bruised I doubt you'll have much luck arguing that he did any more than you - and you struck him first.

LouisevilleLlama · 31/01/2017 22:05

I agree with Sycamore, he could know you all don't like him and find it condescending and that you physically abused him

sycamore54321 · 31/01/2017 22:05

It's all in the telling though - she tapped him with a newspaper or she assaulted him with an implement.

OP the more I think of this, the more I think you should request an urgent meeting with your manager to tell them of the situation. Not make a complaint but to acknowledge what happened, including your role. I thi k that would be in your best interests and show that you have the maturity to realise you were very wrong in the first instance. Based on what we know of your character from this thread, I doubt you will actually herd this advice.

Original poster
QueenyLaverne · 31/01/2017 22:05

Yes these are my thoughts re I did initiate physical contact. To put it into perspective the newspaper I had was not rolled up I had it open as in I was reading it and closed the pages together and sort of flicked it at him, it was nothing more than a light touch on him. Not workplace bullying, I think your thinking something like an office full of bitchy people taking a dislike to one person, it's not like that at all. It's hard to describe but without outing where I work.
I didn't say ouch at the time, I turned away quickly as I had tears in my eyes and began talking to another colleague, he then left.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 31/01/2017 22:05

The OP didn't say he punched her Hels

MissVictoria · 31/01/2017 22:07

I've "play" thumped my sister whilst messing bout and it's been way harder than i've meant it to be (only meant to be a "nudge") and accidentally hurt her. In no way was it intentional, sometimes people put more power behind a "play" tap than they mean to. I honestly don't think he meant to hurt you at all, and as just playing along like how you swatted him with the news paper.

Reporting him would be really unfair, you DID hit him first, and as i said i doubt he had any intention of it hurting you. Why not TALK to him and explain he hurt you, i bet the poor bloke would be mortified to have hurt you unintentionally. Having it go on his record or be investigated in the circumstances you've given would be really unfair if it were accidental.

Original poster
QueenyLaverne · 31/01/2017 22:08

I'm bantering with a guy I don't like as I'm just being polite Hmm

OP posts:
SecretWitch · 31/01/2017 22:09

Nope. You can hit someone and then turn around and cry "whaah" when they respond in kind.

Onthecouchagain · 31/01/2017 22:10

Yo hit him first. Don't report it but have a word yourself.

JustHereForThePooStories · 31/01/2017 22:11

I'd love to hear his side of the story.

Sounds like you hit first, but he hit harder and that's your gripe.