Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu - shouted at him for scoffing all the biscuits

144 replies

ExpatTrailingSpouse · 30/01/2017 16:57

lots of other stuff going on, and he has form for this. a little background, live overseas. went to uk in november, dm spent her hard-saved pennies buying him a whole bunch of his favourite uk chocolate. also bought the family in general a few boxes and tins of nice m&s biscuits.

bring it back. he took most of the chocolate and gave it away to his parents and brothers... i was pissed enough at that, as my dm doesn't save her money to buy treats for his family.

we've now started eating the biscuits. first box was m&s chocolatey biscuits - brought them out at dessert so everyone, him, me and ds can share. everyone has 1 or 2. then when no one's looking he goes back and eats 2-3 more by himself. so when i bring it out after dinner the next day the box is half gone.

just opened a tin of nice m&s shortbread (the ones they do for xmas time). i ate one last night. had to take sick dog to vet this morning, get back and half the tin is gone!!!

ffs, why can some people not control themselves and scoff the lot, when there are three people in the house who'd like to have some? i've now told him if he can't control himself and think of the other people in the house who'd like to have more than one out of the entire tin, don't have bloody any!

aibu? does this drive anyone else mad?

OP posts:
Original poster
ExpatTrailingSpouse · 31/01/2017 17:32

i forgot to write, i'm a wienie, i let him have one last night partly because i didn't want DS to see me telling his dad he couldn't have one. but made it clear there aren't any more in the box for him. i'm sure he will "forget" and ask for one tonight too.

OP posts:
Original poster
ExpatTrailingSpouse · 31/01/2017 17:39

CrispPacket - i kept a whole bag of pick and mix to myself. i knew if i put it out he'd eat the whole thing in one go, so i saved it for myself and slowly ate it over a week or so. was great! i do get an occasional craving, and you can get a few things here (overpriced ribena etc), but i don't turn into a pig over it. british food gets such a bad rap over here and i'm not sure why - i've been noticing more and more the quality difference and the ingredients list, and i do miss UK food. and yes, bread here is pretty crap, as is cheese (neon orange cheddar anyone?)

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 31/01/2017 17:54

My ex was like this. If it wasn't cos I know he's still in the UK and single cos no fucker wants the selfish pig I would have thought it was him.

yes adults can eat as much as they like. However, not when they live in a house with other people. My greedy bastard ex, He would inhale packets of biscuits, huge selection boxes in a day, and the day I nearly stabbed the bastard (not really but I was close) was the day he ate most of my birthday cake. It was egg free and around 20 slices. These greedy pigs are selfish and have no thought for themselves. I resented him for it. And that builds up over time.
In your own one you shouldn't have to hide things, and the thing with these arses is it's random, nothing is sacred.

Good luck op.

GREATAUNT1 · 31/01/2017 18:05

Mine used to do that, & his kids did when he had them at the weekend. It drove me effing mad as there was never any for me when I wanted one. I was bought up to have one or two & savour them, he obviously wasn't. I used to tell them to just leave me one, & they did leave me just one, greedy pigs! He will eat a pack of chocolate biscuits or a tin of them in one go no problem. I tell him to leave me some, but he keeps on & on telling me that I haven't eaten my biscuits yet. Think he hopes I'll tell him to eat them. Now I just say well if you wanna die from obesity ... Oh & he eats his & expects to share mine too.

Original poster
ExpatTrailingSpouse · 01/02/2017 04:24

Had it out in counselling - really it's just a visible sign of his overall lack of care and consideration for others. And the fact that even though I've pointed it out to him before, he doesn't acknowledge what I've said and then repeats the same behaviour knowing what I think of it.

Have made it explicitly clear now that yes, when we have special (and not easily replaceable) treats in the house that everyone likes, I do in fact expect him to look at what's there and think about who else might like some rather than scoffing more than his fair share just because he wants to. And yes, he is free to go off to the shops and buy whatever junk he wants to binge on and I couldn't care less.

OP posts:
RubbishMantra · 01/02/2017 19:31

Grrr. Greedy/entitled people give me the rage. An (ex) friend was vegan. When it suited her. Like, if we were ordering in food, she'd guard and scoff the vegan option at the speed of light, then eat most of the other food (set out to share), because she'd suddenly decided she was now eating fish/dairy products.

One time I was away for the weekend. She kindly agreed to stay over to feed my cats. I bought enough vegetarian food to feed her and her boyfriend for a week. Including a litre of rum. I arrived home and the cupboards were completely empty. All the alcohol in the house had been consumed. And she left crispy sheets, and and body fluid stains on the mattress. Oh, and an overflowing toilet, blocked up by a giant size shit.

The most cringey time was when her and her boyfriend came round, and she ordered a pizza. Didn't offer a slice to anyone. She gave the crusts to her boyfriend, after he patiently waited for her to finish inhaling the pizza.

Some peoples are just wankers OP. I'm going to read your other thread now.

Original poster
ExpatTrailingSpouse · 01/02/2017 19:51

how are there so many people like this? i get that it's one thing if you've got an eating disorder, or you grew up fighting to get your fair share of food as that can be a hard thing to overcome, but i'm sure that can't be the case in all of these.

OP posts:
HappenstanceMarmite · 01/02/2017 23:52

Some people really are just greedy shits. Not every unpleasant character trait can be medicalised, despite what is spouted on here 🙄

YouHadMeAtCake · 02/02/2017 01:30

Oh Rubbish she sounds utterly revolting!

Spot on there Marmite ! It's a MN thing it seems. I don't hear excuses made for such things irl.

ambereeree · 02/02/2017 09:19

Just read your other thread....what a ghastly man. My DP is also a snack monster it's annoying but he replaces what he eats or goes out and buys whatever he wants to eats. I never buy chocolate or crisps in the weekly shop.

IneedmoreLemonPledge · 02/02/2017 14:22

Rubbish - im not surprised there was a giant shit blocking the toilet if she ate the entire contents of your kitchen cupboards!

Greedy pig.

Original poster
ExpatTrailingSpouse · 02/02/2017 15:55

ugh, there are toilet stories here too ...

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 02/02/2017 18:17

"how are there so many people like this?"
My personal theory is that it's a power thing. They do it because they can. They do it because they know you don't want them to do it. They do it to show you that what you want is irrelevant, and the only thing that matters is what they want. It's a power thing.

HappenstanceMarmite · 02/02/2017 18:32

Share them toilet stories OP! 👍

Original poster
ExpatTrailingSpouse · 02/02/2017 18:43

marmite - more along the lines of not cleaning up after oneself, but still on the lines of thoughlessness. we did a split move to the states when i was pregnant. he was here full time for the first 5 months and we travelled back and forth on weekends etc. when i arrived full time about 5 months in, he hadn't once cleaned the house... 4 toilets (US style), and he'd used every single one of them... idiot that i am, i actually cleaned up after him (was 8 months pregnant by that point), and continued until DS was about 5 months and i finally got a cleaner because i was sick of having to clean up someone else's shit off 4 different toilets (he of course didn't want to pay for a cleaner).

OP posts:
Original poster
ExpatTrailingSpouse · 02/02/2017 18:50

i think that's an interesting question: is it power or is it pure selfishness? i kind of view those two things differently.

in my mind, if they're doing it deliberately because they know it will annoy you, that's a power thing.

if they do it because they literally just don't think about it, that's more like absentminded selfishness.

or is it a mix in between? because if it's been mentioned before and they ignore what you've said and do it again, does it then become a power struggle?

these things always bring to mind the incompetent husband thread(s) - is he strategically incompetent, or just plain incompetent?

OP posts:
IneedmoreLemonPledge · 02/02/2017 19:37

If it's a power thing it's an awful thought to contemplate at a level of everyday living isn't it?

I mean how exhausting to have to consider that kind of competitive behaviour at every waking moment of domestic life.

consider mousetraps in biscuit tins

HappenstanceMarmite · 02/02/2017 21:50

People like this should stay single and live alone. They contribute nothing but take everything. Of course they choose to ensnare a slave partner to provide food and clear up after them. The ultimate act of selfishness.

Original poster
ExpatTrailingSpouse · 06/03/2017 15:35

so only a few weeks later, he's bloody done it again. i opened the next box of m & s extremely chocolatey milk chocolate selection after dinner a few nights ago. DS and i had one each. H refused his, being sulky about the whole thing. have not brought them out after dinner since as DS has not been eating so no reward of chocolate biscuit etc.

went to look in the tin last night, at least 10 biscuits gone ffs. first he says well you said it was ok for DS to have some last night. i say "no, i said he could have the lindt chocolate off my desk if he ate some more dinner. you interpreted that to mean chocolate biscuits even tho he was holding the lindt in his hand." then he says, i've never eaten them except at dinner (with everyone). FFS does he think i'm an idiot? they haven't been brought out at dinner since the day i opened them!

again, i don't mind him eating them, i mind him scoffing a whole bunch, never offering them around to other people when he does eat them (i don't eat them unless we are all eating them), and on top of that eating all of the ones that he likes so no one can try that kind ifykwim.

and, to top it off, got the "well couldn't you say it nicer to me". NO because i shouldn't even fucking have to say it again in the first place, and then you're trying to lie to my face.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page