Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think my new boyfriend is actually in love with his work colleague

359 replies

wiltedflower28 · 29/01/2017 21:48

I've known him a year now, met him when he had a girlfriend and once they split he got chatting to me on facebook and asked me on a date. We ended up dating and I've now met his family. He is obviously the type of guy who doesn't like to me alone as he's had three longterm relationships and after each longterm relationship he's started a new relationship weeks later. But it didn't bother me too much as he did seem genuinely over his ex and each relationship he's had has lasted over 3 years.

So he told me about a leaving party for an old work colleague but warned me that one of the women there had the hots for him so if he seemed off with her that was why. Sure enough when he arrived he avoided being around her and made a big point of holding my hand and showing her it was me he liked. Then one of the group got drunk, put their arm around the work colleague and told her she was beautiful to which my boyfriend showed visible distress. Before she was leaving he stopped her and told her to contact him if she needed anything.

A few months later we put our relationship on facebook. A lot of people liked it but the work colleague didnt. I saw on his facebook that a few days later he messaged his work colleague asking her a question I knew he already knew the answer to. I think he might have wanted her to see his profile picture and to know we had made it faceook official and that we were together. She replied saying she didn't know the answer to the question and hoped he was well. He never replied.

But he has searched her very regularly. He has searched her more than he has searched me or his ex put together. Infact he's only looked at his ex's profile once since they split.

Also, if she is an unwanted admirer surely you wouldn't message her? And although he has only messaged her once, that doesn't mean anything. If he likes her a lot he's probably be considering messaging for a long time but only just got the courage.

She has only messaged him once and that was a few days after mine and his first date and it was strictly about work. He did reply to her first message but not subsequent ones.

She has liked one of his profile pics but it's clear she's never initiated any contact or written any comments on his wall.

I'm now pretty sure she has never made any moves on him, and looking at her she is gorgeous so I can't see her being in love with my current boyfriend eventhough he is good looking.

If you're in a new relationship and in love, why would you be searching an old work colleague you've not seen for a while and messaging them? Why would you desire them to see you're in a relationship and comment on your facebook?

My best friend is the only one I've spoken to about this, and she said he asked you out. It's out he's interested and not to worry. If he liked her he would have made some kind of move. He hasn't so isn't interested.

I just get the feeling that if she messaged him now to say let's go for a date. He would say yes. He is too scared to ask her out so is trying to get her to ask him/show interest in him.

AIBU|?

OP posts:
questioningitall · 30/01/2017 09:00

Jesus wept.

TheDowagerCuntess · 30/01/2017 09:15

Oh God.

to 1991 when I was 17 and everything boy-related had to be analysed the shit over, and it was all extreme drama.

Sparkletastic · 30/01/2017 09:27

Sounds like he fancies her but perhaps thinks she's out of his league.

phoe6e · 30/01/2017 09:44

Call his bluff, get a new sim Grin

Seriously though, he fancies her like mad but is too scared to do anything about it because shes out of his league. Youre the safe one. Sorry

FlissMumsnet · 30/01/2017 09:50

Morning!

We're taking a little look at this thread but nothing to report as yet....

2014newme · 30/01/2017 10:00

Marital status?
"Facebook official"
😂😂😂😂
Absolutely hilarious
Yes she turned him down its obvious. His behaviour at the party was grim. Ditch.

SpongebobRoundPants · 30/01/2017 10:13

Me and BF are having a Facebook official ceremony this weekend.

You're all invited xoxo

abigamarone · 30/01/2017 10:18

This thread's bringing back some lovely memories of reading the problem pages in Jackie.

2014newme · 30/01/2017 10:18

Are children allowed? 😂

2014newme · 30/01/2017 10:19

Problem pages in Jackie 😂😂😂

SpongebobRoundPants · 30/01/2017 10:27

2014 kids are invited but they must bring a gift from my John Lewis gift list.

bummymummy77 · 30/01/2017 10:43

So when she went up to him and started to speak he'd walk off then be all over you? I'm sorry but he's sounds like a bit of an asshole. I'd be furious if dh treated someone like that, even if they fancied him.

I think you need to be single for a while. You sound 16, I was shocked when you said you were 28! I was a bit all over the place when I was younger but even I'd not be checking someone's facebook.

Hope it works out ok for you op, it really shouldn't be this stressful or hard. Smile

Quarksoundslikequack · 30/01/2017 10:50

To the PP's who said it's odd behaviour to go through my exes phone out of curiosity because of privacy & all that crap

I'd just like to point out that whilst my ex was sticking his willy wonky into my vajayjay, there is no privacy!

I didn't EVER do it behind his back, he would always be sat with me....I'd nosily check his fb to see what his friends had posted because mine was boring.

We looked at each others phones, something that didn't bother either of us....until he started accusing me of using my calculator as a secret folder (Hmm still wonder if he was taking drugs at the time)
Because of the false accusation, we then agreed not to look at each others phones especially that he started to make a habit of secretly checking my phone.

SpongebobRoundPants · 30/01/2017 11:00

Quark can you imagine the uproar if a man came on here and said 'as long as I'm putting my penis in her vagina, there is no privacy' HmmHmmHmm

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 30/01/2017 11:07

I'd just like to point out that whilst my ex was sticking his willy wonky into my vajayjay, there is no privacy!

What the actual fuck??? How does someone old enough to nose through someone's phone and have sex use that kind of twee language?

I think your ex had a lucky escape...

Like a PP said, imagine how it would sound if a man did that.

As for taking drugs, he probably was - I would too if I was being checked up on all the time!

Bluntness100 · 30/01/2017 11:15

I'd just like to point out that whilst my ex was sticking his willy wonky into my vajayjay, there is no privacy!

Quarksoundslikequack · 30/01/2017 11:18

How I conduct my relationships in life are solely down to me & the other person I am with.

I find a lot of "women" on here, only read half the stories.....no point pointing out that we both looked at each others phones knowingly.

Absolutely hilarious, saying "he had a lucky escape" without knowing ALL the facts about my relationship!

Basing it all on one thing is ignorant however, that's what a lot of people are on here.....ignorant....read but don't take it all in.

Quarksoundslikequack · 30/01/2017 11:19

Apologies ladies!!

Let me rephrase, for the women who are bored at home needing something to "kick off" about.

Whilst my ex was inserting his penis into my vagina

Better??

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 30/01/2017 11:23

What is a "woman"? Is it the same as a woman, which I presume is a person with a 'vajayjay' not a 'willy wonky'?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 30/01/2017 11:24

It's the fact that just because you were fucking, that gave you any rights at all over each other's privacy

CaraAspen · 30/01/2017 11:27

Wasn't Quarksoundslikequack being arch?

Quarksoundslikequack · 30/01/2017 11:27

It wasn't forced nor secretive.

I suffer with IBS so there would be times that I'd be extremely unwell in the bathroom trying to "go" whilst he sat with me to make sure I didn't pass out & hurt myself

He'd also use to toilet for a number 2 whilst I'd take a shower.

It's how we were....you know, what's the word????? Oh! Comfortable!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 30/01/2017 11:31

Ah okay - no boundaries - gotcha. Well each to their own. ^^

PaulAnkaTheDog · 30/01/2017 11:33

Jeez...

Quarksoundslikequack · 30/01/2017 11:35

Minimal boundaries!

Swipe left for the next trending thread