To wonder what "Mumsnet the musical" would look like

[westcoastnortherneragain]

I'm sat here daydreaming and wondering what a musical based on Mumsnet would look like....

I'm envisaging various songs based on threads such as...

A wedding invitation with poem (no children invited either)
Brian from Hull
Lunch box content arguments with an actual bun fight
Penis cleaning tips (Penis Beaker)

A bad guy named Jeffery who likes to hack Mumsnet

Any other song suggestions? Who should star in it?

Justine should star in it! Definitely!

There should be a song about controlled crying.

And goats with plasma TVs.

And a scene with a parent and teacher.

Can I be in it?

I do great Jazz Hands.

I think the wedding invite song should have a wishing well in the background that they shove the bride and groom in to

There would have to be a dance with loo brushes as accessories ... like Morris dancing with loo brushes instead of sticks.

And some sort of song about the rights and wrongs of removing body hair/what you call genitalia.

Yes you can definitely be in it!

Main character will be cooking up entire meals from the shit available in Aldi whilst a Waitrose shopper screams like a banshee in the background.

Love the loo brush suggestion! Perhaps a giant roast chicken too?

There would be a crazy baby name song with Balonz and Slithery featured

Fink I think the loo brushes should come to life. Likje the scary brooms in Fantasia.

I'm wondering who should play Brian from Hull, I envisage him to be a hippy in his 60s with a long white beard.

Definitely needs a big dance sequence related to parking, complete with penguin costumes.

It could be a solo... I'm Brian from Hull only the Yoni

Oh yes the Penguins!

The main character would have to wear the mumsnet scarf!

And there would have to be a Korean lady on stage too.

The elderly Korean lady just has to sit at the back and observe the entire thing.

There has to be a song about bonkers school rules featuring pat members with lemon drizzle cakes. The chorus involves chanting why did you send your kids to this school if you don't like this one petty rule.(see I even wrote a rhyming bit, genius)

AIBU could have a song all about the thread

All I can think of is dancing toilet brushes now

Interval trolley needs Fruit Shoots, Greggs sausage rolls and Godiva chocolates.
For breadth.

"Behold the cutted up pear" would be a faintly Lion King-esque number - held aloft on a ceremonial bobble plate, with other stunt pineapples and other decorative fruit lovingly cradled by the chorus.

Hilarity ensues when a rogue Pom-bear is found cavorting in their midst

One of your songs should be called "did you mean to be so rude"
I think I'll co write with you.

Did you mean to be so rude would make an excellent song

All the background scenery would painted to look like fanny condensation..

And someone would park in someones drive sit in someone elses seat

Would a giant penis and beaker be too much as a prop?