To wonder what "Mumsnet the musical" would look like

[westcoastnortherneragain]

I'm sat here daydreaming and wondering what a musical based on Mumsnet would look like....

I'm envisaging various songs based on threads such as...

A wedding invitation with poem (no children invited either)
Brian from Hull
Lunch box content arguments with an actual bun fight
Penis cleaning tips (Penis Beaker)

A bad guy named Jeffery who likes to hack Mumsnet

Any other song suggestions? Who should star in it?

[ShowMePotatoSalad]

The penguin bollards would come dancing on just before the interval.

[iklboo]

MN scarf
Leggings

[westcoastnortherneragain]

Any costume ideas?

[SloanyAnne]

Cheerful you're hired

[CocoLoco87]

cheerfulmuddler that is amazing!

[Akire]

Giant mooncup in background which will gradual fill up before sirens and emptying out. With chorus of 2 tablespoons my ass, my ass my ass.

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

and a heartfelt coldplay style ballad - 'you wouldn't get this in waitrose'

[furlinedsheepskinjacket]

love all these

i would like a urban grime rap/performance poetry thing - are you on glue/aibu?

[westcoastnortherneragain]

Obviously a sporner song too

Pop it pop it pop it

[PeppaTheFirst]

Topsy and Tim's mum should be slouched in a corner on top of a full washing basket necking a gin bottle.

[ohmygodyouguys]

Suggestions for lyrics I mean. Wish you could edit posts.....

[ohmygodyouguys]

Who's going to write the songs? We've had some great suggestions from posters already, but we need music! Tom Fletcher would get my vote

[CheerfulMuddler]

I've not been here long, so I'll do the noob verse.

Do you really iron baby clothes,
And shower twice a day?
Are crisps so bad?
Wait, guides are evil?
You really want to name him Weevil?
There's some joke about PomBears but I'm really not sure what,
I've been here for half the night and I've begun to lose the plot.
On MUMSNET! Look what he did to me!
On MUMSNET! You're having WHAT for tea?
On MUMSNET! Do you have PND?
On MUMSNET! She's a cunt and so are her DC!

Third verse ...

[YouTheCat]

I haven't rtft but I envisage someone appearing in the credits and saying that they hadn't rtft but in song.

[StayAChild]

A group of MNers place marking with large full stops, while chanting 'we need a diagram', with a riled parking thread victim drawing a diagram on a large screen, complete with bins, next door's garden crap and rogue, mis-parked car.

[Rioja123]

This is one of the funniest threads I have read on here!

[westcoastnortherneragain]

Tiggy that's amazing!

[Doublemint]

Can we have s character whose actual name is Precious? Last name Firstborn?

[Discobabe98]

fucks sake, Angela's name didn't go bold so that last message is absolutely ruined lol

[Discobabe98]

The roll call in the song the nicest kids in town from Hairspray, everyone standing behind each other in a line
I'm Amber!
Brad!
Tammy!
Fender!
Brenda!
Sketch!
Shelley!
I.Q!
Lou Ann!
Joey!
Mikey, Vicki, Becky, Bix, Jessie, Darla, Paulie!
Noreen!
Doreen!
And I'm...Angela Hernandez

[Jesterstolehisthornycrown1]

Tiggy D, that's amazing.

[poorpaws]

Matthew Wright MUST be in it.

[TiggyD]

I can't believe you swore! It is so very crude!
Was it by mistake or did you mean to be so rude?
I only signed up because my Dear Daughter had a cough
Then I offered some advice and you told me to fuck off.
I don't care what you all think. I don't care what you all say.
I was only parked a minute in that disabled bay.
I wanted money for my wedding and said so in a note,
But you were all so really cruel, so I'll go and get my coat.

On MUMSNET! They never pass the buck!
On MUMSNET! They think that tickers really suck!
On MUMSNET! The beakers all taste yuk!
On MUMSNET! Everybody here says fuck!

Second verse...

[Doublemint]

Pom bears in the interval and some kind of cancel the cheque running joke!

Also a random character popping in with helpful comments based on the first scene, replied to by a song of RTFT!

(I haven't rtft)

[ExplodedCloud]

Every time a new character is introduced they have to start with "NC for this. Moldies, Yoni, Penguin Bollards and Pom Bears"