To wonder what "Mumsnet the musical" would look like

[westcoastnortherneragain]

I'm sat here daydreaming and wondering what a musical based on Mumsnet would look like....

I'm envisaging various songs based on threads such as...

A wedding invitation with poem (no children invited either)
Brian from Hull
Lunch box content arguments with an actual bun fight
Penis cleaning tips (Penis Beaker)

A bad guy named Jeffery who likes to hack Mumsnet

Any other song suggestions? Who should star in it?

'dogs at school gates' would be a jets vs sharks type number

Andy could come onstage every so often to complain about the set.

The audience should fight their way through penguin bollards to reach their seats!

You'd have to include the line "You don't have a MIL problem, you have a DH problem" Hell, you might even be able to spin it into a musical number.

A choir wearing giant judgy pants-pulled all the way up!

sagely that made me LOL

Dream sequence with the Mumsnet chicken - dressed in the Mumsnet scarf - and all the meals it goes to make. Maybe a Blood Brothers style numbers...

Say it's casserole
Says it's only Kiev

(I'll get me coat)

Leave the Bastard would be the nig chorus number.

there could be a thread killer song

There would be a corner where people constantly slap each other with pool noodles and shout YABVVU, until they randomly throw flowers at each other momentarily, before returning to the slapping.

The two sell-out songs would have to be the forceful but melodic 'Just say no; it's a complete sentence' and the more rocky, 'Cancel the cheque!'

LTB could feature as a sort of "Hear the people sing" type refrain.

X-post, red 😂

Questionable pregnancy tests would have to be included somewhere

At the end, when all the audience are demanding a twelfth encore, the cast get fed up and yell
LTB - Leave you bastards!

A gospel number called Leave The Bastard

There should definitely be a song composed of nothing but acronyms

We could have a chorus line all T-Rexing in unison like the Moulin Rouge can can line, warbling "Whereeeeee iss Shaaaarrrron, where is where we?"

I've got a mental image of Dolly Parton proclaiming "Honey, you ain't got a MIL problem - y'all got a DH problem" , then bursting into song 'working 9 to 5' style.

There might be a dance number involving clutching of pearls, head tilting and tinkly laughs?

Can I be in it please? I did tap when I was a kid - the sequinned bodysuit won't fit anymore but I could probably still shuffle off to buffalo at a push (slowly).

AIBU AIBU
AY EYE BEE YOU AIBU

YABU
YABU

NO I'M NOT

YABU YABU

NO I'M NOT

WHYYYYY DID YOU
ASK THEN

WHYYYYY

AIBU AIBU
AY EYE BEE YOU AIBU

PERSONAL PERSONAL
PERSONAL ATTAAAAACK

DELETED MESSAGE! DELETED MESSAGE!

AIBU AIBU
AY EYE BEE YOU AIBU

(I'm picturing this in a grand operatic style, obviously)

"Where is she" even!

All I can see now is Mike from Monsters Inc singing "Put that pombear back where it came from or so help me!"
I'm obviously very cultured

You have to have a tug of war scene between wives and mothers, both trying to control the husband/son....... song something like 'He's Mine.... No, he's MINE......

Troll troll troll!
You didn't agree with me, you must be a troll!
Reporting this post now!

A song blatantly plagiarised from I Don't Know How To Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstar
Titled I Don't Know what To Call Him, with a constant changing back display of baby names