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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cross with School

61 replies

MrsTarzan1 · 26/01/2017 15:53

My daughter (8) was due to do football after school. They usually come out at 3.15pm, football ends at 4.15pm.

At 3.15 I had a call to say she was unwell, didn't feel up to it and could we collect. I said yes fine, be there in 5-10mins.

I arrived at school & went to the office. There was no sign of her. The member of staff went to look, came back after a minutes to ask which class she was in (obviously no idea where she was!)

Anyway, about 5 minutes later, 2 Mums that I know (reasonably well, but not friends as such) arrived in Reception with her. She had been let out as normal with all the other kids at 3.15! Angry She was just stood in the playground alone.

I'm livid! They had no idea when I when I would be there, anyone could have walked off with her. I want to complain, but want to check others would be annoyed by this too!

AIBU?

OP posts:
harderandharder2breathe · 26/01/2017 15:54

I would be annoyed but can easily see how it happened, probably everyone thought someone else was looking after her

Definitely worth going in and calmly saying you're annoyed it happened and how will they prevent similar things happening to her or other children in the future?

brownpurse · 26/01/2017 15:59

Why didn't she take herself back into school and say no one was there to collect her? She is 8 not 4.

Original poster
MrsTarzan1 · 26/01/2017 16:01

She was waiting with my friends so wasn't worried - but school/teachers didn't know that!

I know she is 8 not 4, but 8 is still so young and the Teachers should have taken more responsibility!

OP posts:
sonlypuppyfat · 26/01/2017 16:04

I'm sorry but I think 8 is still very young I would expect someone to know where she was

SavoyCabbage · 26/01/2017 16:06

I think this is just one of those things that happen. She was probably told to get her things from,the classroom or the cloakroom and then either went with the flow and went out with the rest or an adult has said to her 'come on fasten that coat and off you go' and off she went.

Crumbs1 · 26/01/2017 16:07

At 8 I would expect her to inform teacher nobody was there. It's not that young and she was hardly beside a motorway.

Floralnomad · 26/01/2017 16:10

I think this really depends on which school year she is in , year 2 and below its unacceptable , yr 3 and above I think it's reasonable as with 'juniors' don't most schools just let them out rather than hand them to a parent .

titchy · 26/01/2017 16:12

Anyone could have walked off with her?

Really? Would she have walked off with just anyone do you think?

brownpurse · 26/01/2017 16:12

I'm old:) In all my years of teaching not one of the 8 year olds i dismissed from an upstairs classroom didn't make it home- mostly on their own.

titchy · 26/01/2017 16:13

If she's 8 she'll be yr 3 or 4.

TeenAndTween · 26/01/2017 16:16

If she is 8 then she is y3/y4.

I think at this point (since starting juniors) you need to have had a clear conversation about 'if I am not there to collect you then you need to go to the office'
and also by now (years ago) you should have had the conversation 'never go off with anyone unless pre-arranged or the teacher says she's had a message'. (This with respect to your anyone could have walked off with her comment)

On balance YABU though I appreciate you have had a scare.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 26/01/2017 16:23

I think that it is also worth considering that this is an ill child so not necessarily thinking as clearly and it sounds as if she was let out before anyone had an answer from the OP. I would think that she should ideally be sent to the reception or less ideal but also under supervision sitting on the sidelines at football - outside but still supervised compared with alone in playground. I do agree that it is worth having a conversation about what to do if you ever aren't there or if having been collected you lose each other.

JennyOnAPlate · 26/01/2017 16:27

Didn't she (or the adults she was with) think to go back to the teacher and ask??

WorraLiberty · 26/01/2017 16:30

I can't see a stranger walking off with a strange 8yr old and her being happy to just follow.

However, I would be very annoyed that they left a sick child in a freezing cold playground, instead of asking her to sit in the office while they rang you.

Loopsdefruits · 26/01/2017 16:32

I'm confused? When I was at school, if you were ill during the school day you went to the office and the office called your parent(s) to come and collect you, you then waited in the office for them to get there. They wouldn't send you back to class until your parent arrived Confused

BoffinMum · 26/01/2017 16:34

She should have either had the sense to wait in the warm, or just wait for you outside if she felt OK doing so. It's not -20C so she would have been fine.

DragonitesRule · 26/01/2017 16:35

Actually, this is a safe guarding issue, in that they had phoned you to say she was unwell and needed picking up early. You said you would be 10 mins so not there on site. As such, she should have been taken up to the office or the first aid room. This is what would have happened at our school. In any case our school has a policy that parents have to be seen before the child is released for this very reason (apart from yr 5-6 if you have signed that they can walk home alone) so another parent would not be walking about with someone else's child unless Pre-arranged (note to teacher etc)

You need to report it to the head so that they can formally review procedures and ensure all teaching staff are aware to prevent it happening again.

Motherfuckers · 26/01/2017 16:38

She's 8. If she hadn't complained about feeling ill, you wouldn't have been there to pick her up and she would have gone to football. She knew you weren't due to pick her up at the usual time so should have waited in the office. Don't bother complaining to the school, they did nothing wrong in this instance.

EweAreHere · 26/01/2017 16:41

She's 8 and in KS2, presumably.

She should know what to do and where to go under those circumstances.

GreenShadow · 26/01/2017 16:46

I would expect an 8 YO to be able to wait for you in the playground without any problem - I really don't see the issue here.

Original poster
MrsTarzan1 · 26/01/2017 16:48

I assume those justifying this are teachers Confused

Would you really expect an 8 year old to take herself off to the office to meet me?! She just did what she was told

OP posts:
Ragwort · 26/01/2017 16:48

Total over reaction - she's 8 - of course she can wait in the playground. Hmm

AChickenCalledKorma · 26/01/2017 16:50

But they did have some idea when you'd get there. You told them 5-10 minutes. The question is, is it normal for kids to wait in the playground for 5-10 minutes if a parent isn't there, or are they supposed to be supervised? And was she really properly unwell, or just not feeling up to doing the club?

Fallonjamie · 26/01/2017 16:51

She was in the playground, she was safe. She knew you were coming, I'm sure she'd have walked back into school on her own if no-one had been there.

Ragwort · 26/01/2017 16:51

No, I am not a teacher.

But I wonder why, if your DD is unwell, you are getting so uptight about this issue rather than just spending some time with your DD now?

Actually, thinking about it, is she genuinely unwell or just chose not to do football and asked the school to phone you up (something I did at school years ago to get out of a difficult maths test Grin).