Cross with School

[MrsTarzan1]

My daughter (8) was due to do football after school. They usually come out at 3.15pm, football ends at 4.15pm.

At 3.15 I had a call to say she was unwell, didn't feel up to it and could we collect. I said yes fine, be there in 5-10mins.

I arrived at school & went to the office. There was no sign of her. The member of staff went to look, came back after a minutes to ask which class she was in (obviously no idea where she was!)

Anyway, about 5 minutes later, 2 Mums that I know (reasonably well, but not friends as such) arrived in Reception with her. She had been let out as normal with all the other kids at 3.15! She was just stood in the playground alone.

I'm livid! They had no idea when I when I would be there, anyone could have walked off with her. I want to complain, but want to check others would be annoyed by this too!

AIBU?

Oh and I'm also not a teacher.

Another one here who thinks that Aibu. She's 8 and should be fine by herself in a busy playground for ten minutes?

(Disclaimer: I am a teacher)

I agree with those who say it depends on what the school policy is. Our Year 4s are not allowed to leave alone and are handed over to a parent or an agreed adult after school. If this is the school policy, someone has clearly dropped the ball. However, it's not as clear cut if this is not their policy (and it isn't for every school). For those saying she was being collected because she was poorly, that isn't quite what I understand by it - it reads to me that she just didn't go to her after school activity because she wasn't feeling well enough, and therefore went home at the end of normal school with everyone else. What does stand out is that somebody rang you at collection time and you said you would be 10 minutes. What should probably have happened is that that person should have told you where she would be or what the plan was. I wouldn't be livid about it, but I would raise it with them, as it's clearly not ideal.

Not a teacher, but parent of an 8yold (yr 3) and think yabu. My kids' school have now started handing yr 3s out to parents but previously all juniors were just let out, which I was happy with. My DC know not to go off with anyone except me unless I'd told them in advance. My 8yo is not the most sensible child in the world, but he would know to go back in and speak to a member of staff if I didn't arrive.

YABU and uptight. It's no big deal. An 8 year old should be able to turn around and go back into the classroom and find her teacher...

Stop fussing over nothing.
At 8 she's old enough to know not to panic nor leave the school grounds. On the very rare occasion I'm late for DGS aged 9 he just goes to the school secretary and says my grandma is late. School sec says we'll wait 5 minutes then I'll phone her.

She should have gone to the office as that's what ours do if I am running late (very rare)

I initially agreed with pp that at 8 she would be fine, at 8 my DS had been walking to school for 2yrs, but then I remembered that some kids can be very immature no matter their age. If your DD is like that then maybe you're right to be livid because it could have been distressing for her when sick but it still is probably a genuine mistake so go easy on the school, just raise it gently.

Yanbu. If school doesn't let them walk home alone and you've told them you'll be ten minutes when they've left it until 3.15 to call, they shouldn't have let her out with the others and should have redirected her to the office before she even went outside. It's a bit different to if they hadn't spoken to you and had assumed you were there and let her out as normal. They knew you wouldn't be there.

I think school should take more responsibility for this one too. If they've decided 8 isn't old enough to be walking home alone, 8 probably isn't old enough to be let out alone and trusted not to walk home alone or go off with someone.

At DS school they have to be seen to parent/pre-arranged adult until yr6 & even then only with written permission to walk home alone. If that is the policy at OP's school, then no she shouldn't have been sent out to wait in the playground. If it's normal for yr4 children to leave by themselves/wait for parents/meet over the road then I can see how this happened & OP's DC should have had a plan of what to do if OP isn't there.

Why would she have gone off with someone else? Are you seriously thinking there are people lurking ready to take 8 year old's who've been left in the playground for a few minutes?

She was in a safe place, with people around she knew. She's 8, not 5.