to not want our daughter to have the surname 'Perfect'?

[Brooks10]

Our daughter is due any day. We have decided on her first name, but are struggling with the surname. We are not married. He wants his surname (which I actually don't mind, as in don't mind her having just his surname) but his surname is Perfect. It's not unreasonable to think that's not a great surname is it?? He thinks it's a great surname to have, so which is it?? A bad or good surname to have? I think it's really bad tbh. Mind you, it doesn't sound that great hyphenated either, does it?

Yea some people choose to deed poll and then marry (my aunt did) but it isn't customary to do so. I suspect the reason OP hasn't taken his name then is cos they're not married. Its hardly complicated.

Give her your name. Married or not. It will avoid all sorts of potential future problems.

My married name is "interesting" far worse objectively that Perfect.

We're bringing our kids up to simply shrug off any comments and laugh.

My DH survived high school unscathed and there are advantages to having an unusual name.

It is something you need to decide together though.

Eddie Perfect on his name

www.theaustralian.com.au/life/weekend-australian-magazine/questions-eddie-perfect-performer-35/news-story/7f272376c0159b02f5ad7391a554fff6

Have now got that bloody Fairground Attraction song in my head.

MommaGee "Its hardly complicated."

The complicated bit (to me) is why the OP feels she needs to give their child her boyfriend's name. So she and her child would not have the same name. If the dad will do most of the caring it might make sense but if she will do the majority of toddler groups, school, swim club stuff it is just easier to be the same surname as the child. IMHO.

It is weird that I asked a question and several posters seemed to imply I was saying she should take his name! Quite the opposite.

Italian I gave my son my boyfriends name so we have different surnames at the moment but mostly because I have an awful surname. We plan to marry at some point and then we will all be the same.

DontTouchTheMoustache "Italian I gave my son my boyfriends name so we have different surnames at the moment but mostly because I have an awful surname. We plan to marry at some point and then we will all be the same."

It's totally your choice, I am not criticizing. I took my dh's name on marriage, I never really thought not to. But I didn't like my 'maiden' name at all! The first time someone talked about Mrs Italiangreyhound, I looked around and wondered who they were talking about!

My friend changed it (I guess by deed poll) before the wedding, but he kept her waiting years before they married! Some people really want to marry some not, but sometimes one does and one wants to 'wait'!

It's all OK but the OP doesn't seem to like the name 'perfect' and I must admit I would not want to send a child to school with the name Perfect.

Peter Perfect Perfect Peter

OP it could be worse if your next child is a boy.

But I still think my maiden name was worse!

And OP congratulations on your daughter, hope all goes well.

If you're giving birth in a hospital they will use your surname for you DD by default so they don't mix her up with someone else's baby.

You could use it as an opportunity to test drive her name and see which works best. When/if you marry, DPs name could be added or her name could be changed.

DS was registered with XPs name. XP then became abusive and I took DS and left. His last ounce if control is over DS name. DS hates being associated with XP and we're transitioning to a full 'known as' my surname in time for him to start secondary. He currently plans to deed poll as soon as he's 18.

Not saying that will happen to you, just offering my experience - I seriously wish we'd at least hyphenated instead of going for cutesy initials!

Christine Perfect.

I like it. Polly Perfect or Penny Perfect would be a great name.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_McVie?wprov=sfla1

Think of all the future problems with travelling abroad when you don't have the same name as your children plus having to perpetually correct schools and doctors etc etc. Plus being the only one in the family with a different name.

I never understand why people on mumsnet think that women have the right to not want this problem but it's fine for men to have it. Surely the same could be said of the father?

RhodaBorrocks excellent point. Sorry to hear that this is how things worked out. Your son sounds like a bright lad who knows what he wants.

Ruralretreating , we have a Dr Sweet at our local gps/health centre , and she's lovely too! Village beginning with A ?

Think of all the future problems with travelling abroad when you don't have the same name as your children plus having to perpetually correct schools and doctors etc etc. Plus being the only one in the family with a different name

What exactly are these problems? I am married. My son has his father's surname and I have my surname.(wish we had used my surname, it's much nicer but too late now)

I literally never once encountered a problem, including the many foreign trips taken with my son but without his father being with us or the ones all 3 together.

I did not have to "perpetually" tell schools / doctors. I told them once - "this is young y, his father is old y and his mother is x"

Maybe you could hyphenate it as Perfect-Yoursurname.

Unless your surname is Storm ;)

Imagine if Dr Sweet married Mr Love and they hyphenated!

This is Baby Sweet-Love

Oscar Sweet-Love

O Sweet-Love!

And his sister Mya

I don't think Perfect is bad, it could be used against her, but it's not out and out calling for abuse. May Feel Perfect is bad though! So it may be a matter of changing her first name if you're going to go with Perfect.

But if your'e not married I would stick with your surname regardless. The issues with different surnames can be really annoying and add up, and while it's true that if you and her father have different surnames one of you is going to have that problem, in the vast majority of cases it's the mother that has the majority of those interactions. So unless you're planning on your partner being the primary carer, I would advise you use your surname.

I don't think 'Perfect' as a surname would bother me but I think your surname is much nicer and would use it!

When I was young a man used to come to our house called Val Valentine!! It was only when I was much older I found out he was actually called Valentine Valentine

The issues with different surnames can be really annoying and add up, and while it's true that if you and her father have different surnames one of you is going to have that problem, in the vast majority of cases it's the mother that has the majority of those interactions

Again - what issues? I literally cannot think of any occasion where there was an issue with my surname being different from my son's.

There's an actor in Offspring whose real name is Eddie Perfect.

I always thought it was kinda cool.

I think Perfect is a brilliant surname. It's memorable but not in a bad way.

Don't name your daughter Ford, please.

I would use the surname Perfect-Mayfield for your DD.

I really wouldn't use Perfect. It is awful. I would be wary of giving a child a name that they had to live up to, and that might also be the cause of teasing and bullying.

Who would want to be Mid Perfect? Or in the words of Pa Larkin, "Perfick".

Mayfield is much nicer and not open to ridicule.

*Miss Perfect. Stupid auto-correct again!!