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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this inheritance split is not fair?

438 replies

Big8 · 24/01/2017 12:25

Ok, firstly I know I should be grateful to be getting anything from my grandparents. And I am. But I'm just wondering what the general consensus is on this...

Grandparents have 2 offspring.

Have set aside £x for grandchildren.

There are five grandchildren.

My father has 4. His sister has 1.

Now rather than the £x being split into 5 equal portions for us all

Half of £x goes to Aunts child.
Half goes to my dad's children to be divided between 4.

So say it's £1000

Cousin gets £500.

We get £125 each.

What do you think of that?

OP posts:
DoItTooJulia · 24/01/2017 12:27

I think you're going to have a tough time here because you're not entitled to any more than you're being given. The deceased choose how to divvy it up and this is what they chose.

DeathStare · 24/01/2017 12:28

I think it's entirely up to your grandparents.

Maybe they wanted to split the inheritance between their children equally but were asked/advised to leave it to grandchildren instead so have done so as an equal split between their (the grandparents) children.

Maybe they are closer to or see more of your aunt and her child.

LIZS · 24/01/2017 12:29

However it gets split someone will feel had done by.

LucklessMonster · 24/01/2017 12:29

I think you aren't grateful and your grandparents should leave you nothing.

If you think you're entitled to money, you earn it, not wait for elderly relatives to die.

Original poster
Big8 · 24/01/2017 12:29

I understand that but I can't imagine if I wanted to leave something to my own grandchildren doing it in a way where one got considerably more.

Maybe 'fair' isn't the word because it's not our money to begin with. More just strange.

OP posts:
Mari50 · 24/01/2017 12:30

I think it's free money and it's somewhat pathetic to argue that you are entitled to more. Be grateful you were considered at all.
Your grandparents were entitled to split it however they wanted to.

BreatheDeep · 24/01/2017 12:30

It's the deceased's choice but I do get what you're saying. My grandparent who died a couple of years ago split it more fairly for this exact reason.

NerrSnerr · 24/01/2017 12:30

I think it's up to them how they chose to split their estate. Their choice, they'll never please everyone.

SparkleShinyGlitter · 24/01/2017 12:31

I think it's absouletly fine!

So your grandparents have left 1/2 to share between the children there DS and DD have, I can't see a problem with that. It's not there fault your dad had 4 and your aunt 1 child.

I think I'd be respectful to my grandparents wishes

Noctilucent · 24/01/2017 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pseudonym99 · 24/01/2017 12:32

There is no fair way to split it unless their children all had the same number of children. Or rather than leaving it to grandchildren they could have left it to their own children - but if they had done that it would have still been split the same, wouldn't it? Personally what I think they have done is correct.

xStefx · 24/01/2017 12:32

If the money were being left to your GP's children (your dad and aunt) I can understand why it was halved but if the will states split between the grandchildren then its hardly a fair split

Original poster
Big8 · 24/01/2017 12:33

I'm not trying to challenge it.

And I'm not interested in the money. It's just the implications of one grandchild being favoured that is hurtful in a way.

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 24/01/2017 12:33

My MIL was like this.

There are 4 grandchildren: my son and then BIL has three children.

MY FIL wanted to leave their inheritance 50/50: one half to each of his son's children, whereas MIL said the inheritance should be split equally into 4 parts to ensure each grandchild got an equal amount.

Equal split is definitely the fairest but as has been said you may just have to smile through clenched teeth.

BillyButtfuck · 24/01/2017 12:34

No one is being favoured in this situation OP it's been split completely fairly and evenly amongst your grandparents children and their families.

CecilyP · 24/01/2017 12:34

If they had died intestate and their children were deceased, that is exactly how the money would be split. However, if they specifically wanted to leave it to their grandchildren, if seems a little odd. If they make a will, it is their choice entirely, so unfair doesn't really come in to it.

MummyToThree479 · 24/01/2017 12:34

You don't said very grateful. I think if my grandparents were dead and had been kind enough to leave me something I wouldn't have an ungrateful attitude and stamp my feet " BUT X GOT MORE THAN ME"

When my parents died they left Me 1/2 to dived between dc I have 3
My brother half he has one child and his wife can't unfortunately have any more. that's the way the cookie cumbles!

Suck it up butter cup

beelover · 24/01/2017 12:34

Are your grandparents still alive, can't be clear from your post? In all honesty I think you sound greedy and though you say you are grateful to be left anything it doesn't come across like that I'm afraid. Also if they are still alive don't bank on receiving anything in the future. If they should need care you could well find any future inheritance has been swallowed up in paying for it. At least that way there will be no squabbling about who gets what.

Noctilucent · 24/01/2017 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gottagetmoving · 24/01/2017 12:35

Fairness doesn't come into it. Their money and their decision.
No one is entitled to any money from either parents or grandparents. Maybe look at it that you are lucky to get anything at all.

MunchMunch · 24/01/2017 12:35

I agree with you op YANBU

I couldn't not make it fair and although pp's are right, it's your gp's money to split however they want but unless there's a reason for one getting more than the others then I can't understand why they would do it.

MummyToThree479 · 24/01/2017 12:35

1 grandchild isn't bing favoured, the grandparents left each of there own children 1/2 to share between the dc they went on to have

User543212345 · 24/01/2017 12:35

I always find it a bit odd to want to leave a legacy to grandchildren and then divide that legacy between the children to subdivide between grandchildren. If you want to leave something to your grandchildren then do so, don't complicate it by how many children each of your children have.

When my parents set up their will they said that it would be split between each of their children, so into 3, but that if we had our own children we had to shave 10% off to share equally between our own children. This to me is bonkers - it means that if we have no children we keep the lot and if we have children their inheritance amount is affected by the number of siblings they have.

Of course it's totally right to leave money how you see fit but to leave such unequal amounts seems loony to me.

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam · 24/01/2017 12:36

IMO the right way is to pass the money to the children, then in turn when they die it goes to the grandchildren. This is the way it would happen if no will was left.

viques · 24/01/2017 12:36

Do you let people tell you how to spend your own money?

Inheritance decisions are the responsibility of the will maker. I am sure your grandfather can count, he has chosen this division for whatever reason, you might not think it fair, but that's what he has decided. Suck it up.

If it makes you feel better you could make your own will and put in a clause saying your cousin is not to inherit a penny of your estate.