MIL and being obese TWO

[YellowBlinds]

original thread

Hi, I know a few people didn't like the title before and I'm sorry for repeating it but I figured it would be the best marker, as its what I used before . Honestly, no offence intended.

Yellow, well done to your DH. Sounds like he came up trumps and handled it all well.

Out of interest, did your MIL give an explanation for her insane behaviour? What did she hope to achieve by banging on your door for an hour and shouting?

If she was 'wound up', it was because she had wound herself up!

It sounds like Mr Yellow handled it very well, but if I'm honest I'm not sure it's going to work completely. That level of batshit won't just disappear overnight. Having said that, if it's a "work in progress" then it's a great start

I think your DH is handling this correctly yellow. He sounds a lot like my DH in temperament. I am more hotheaded and would probably say things i regretted. Hopefully she has taken on board what he has said and things will now improve. If they don’t improve then i suspect moving is the only answer.

Thanks for the updates yellow. Sounds like your DH handled his mother well and hopefully the message that her behaviour is totally unacceptable and has to change has sunk in now. Hope life gets a lot better for you and your DH from here on in.

Well done mryellow! Hope your stress levels go down a bit now!

Well done Yellow and mryellow! Sounds like he dealt with her brilliantly. I couldn't have stayed as calm as he did, I'd have started to build up a head of steam straight away and it would have descended into a temper match and had me storming out in about ninety seconds.

I think this is the absolute best way to deal with this scenario, because whilst I suspect there's still a chance (likelihood really) that this won't work in the long term, it is very important - possibly moreso for FIL and MrYellow than it is for MIL - to feel that they tried everything they could to deal with this in a calm, reasonable way, before resorting to something drastic like moving away and / or forcing a medical appointment. They have to be able to say to themselves (and MIL obviously, although the possibility remains that she may be in no fit state to appreciate it) that they exhausted every avenue of pragmatism first, because she sure as hell won't see reason if the Yellows announce, for instance, that they're moving away because of her. That'll be very hard to deal with, so they'll really need the strength of their convictions.

Also it does sound like on some level MIL can dimly detect how others are perceiving this situation, and it's good to exploit that. I can't help thinking her behaviour was too unhinged to be just "manipulative" but even if something is going on, it still might be possible to tame her.

Good for Mr Yellow. Am very impressed that he stayed calm, but completely agree it was the right tactic.

Hope you get some peace now.

Woo, well done mr yellow, it certainly sounds positive. Fingers crossed it sticks!

Your DH sounds great!

Sounds like a fab way to handle MIL, hope it works and you can get your work done in peace

Agree DH (and OP ) handled this very well, but I'd also worry about FIL having a key ... it's not her finding it which would concern me, but that he, in his enabling state, would actually give her the thing and whine later about "well, what could I doooooo"

I sincerely hope it all works out, but still can't help feeling a move is going to be needed in the end

great to hear =)

(also, justilou if you were to go off like a frog in a sock is a lovely phrase!)

But but but .... you mean there will be no more kittens posted into you house????

(Actually well done!)

Hopefully your DH got the point across to her. Hate to sound like a Debbie Downer, but don't count your chickens just yet.

Well the family's crazy but DH is a keeper....

Wowee! I can't believe what you've been through. A 52 year old acting like this is crazy.

Glad your husband stood up for you, it was needed x

it sounds like your DH did a good job lets hope it works!! x

Fingers crossed your DH has got through to her.

Incredibly impressed at your DH's calm & measured approach. Absolutely brilliant!

Hope you're feeling less stressed soon & that sleep returns.

Your DH sounds awesome! Best of luck :-)

Has she ever indicated why she behaves the way she does? I don't think she'll change unless she works out why she does it.

Probably she'll just redefine the meaning of 'emergency'.

Well done DH and fingers crossed!!

Well done, sounds like you're both handling it well.

Do you think her obsession could be less to do with you & more to do with your food? You said previously that she would raid your cupboards & was also in denial about how much she ate. Food that she hadn't bought & only ate in your house probably doesn't count as being eaten at all. In her mind its 'Need snack, pop round to Yellow's' and you not letting her in is denying her food!

I didn't know how DH taking her out for a meal was going to pan out, but i give him credit for keeping cool, he knows his own mother better than i do and i hope his
methods work long term, and you can get back to spending the odd afternoon with them and not be disturbed broken into during the week.

It's so refreshing to read on here that a poster's DP will stand up to his mother on behalf of his wife. I read so many threads on here where this doesn't happen.

Well done MrYellow