Dog poo warning picture

[fizzingmum]

So my OH doesn't like our dog. He is an excitable puppy (it was agreed we could get him for the kids) but very loving and gentle with our new baby. All the kids love him and he is my little companion whilst on maternity leave. As a young dog he sometimes has accidents indoors. Tonight he pooped in the hallway. My OH stood in it and dragged it up the stairs. Not an accidental smudge but a deliberate protest against the dog. I feel he has done it on purpose and he denies this. However he only has dog Poo on one shoe so unless he was hopping up the stairs I don't see how this is an accident. It has been ground into the carpet. And it's not the first time, it's the third time. Last time he said he hadn't noticed he had stepped in it until he reached the top of the stairs, ensuring it was on every step along the way (again how unless he was hopping). And he was barefoot! How the hell do you not notice you have stepped in dog Poo when barefoot. I'm not sure if he is punishing me for not letting him out or if he is building a case to get rid of the dog. That won't happen as he is part of the family and I have made that clear. So my AIBU, he has called me crazy and stupid this evening for suggesting this was anything other than an accident. I don't see how it could be anything other than deliberate. AIBU to accuse him of this. Sorry about the photo and the rant.

I wouldn't leave him alone with the dog.

I think mistletoe was a bit melodramatic but is right to point to this being the thin end of a wedge. There is an implied threat in what he has done. He is saying 'this is what I can do' and it is raising the stakes. It shows that he will go beyond acceptable behaviour and even dirty up his own home in order to make his nasty point to you. And he is asserting control over you by demanding that you clear it up. He is punishing you and making you do something to humiliate and degrade you as your penalty.

You seem to be quite accepting of the idea that you will be clearing this mess up. The shit on the hall carpet might be yours by prior agreement, but it is reasonable to expect him to clean the stairs. If it was accidental you would expect him to immediately start to clean it up, given the fact of kids in the house.

It sounds as if you were v determined to get a dog. His reaction to it exposes who he really is though. When did his anti-dog stance start getting worse. What's the timescale? Did it coincide with the birth of your baby?

I do think you are minimising the genuine nastiness of his behaviour. Doesn't matter if you can or can't prove it/get footage etc. The fact his he deliberately mashed shit into the carpet in your family home, he has justified this behaviour to himself, can you believe, and the question remains... what kind of arsehole does that?

So your DH doesn't mind if the dog is in the bed if he's not there? Really, OP? I would very much like to hear his side of the story about the whole thing.

The whole thing sounds like something from that Michael Douglas/Kathleen Turner film "War of the Roses".

If he has smeared shit up the stairs that's fucked up. But it's clear that you're hugely minimising his tolerance of the dog in general. It was a terrible idea to get a dog in a household where not everyone was not on board 100%. Selfish of you and the kids.

I'm not a fan of cats and would never have one as a pet. If my DH insisted that it would be ok if we got one as he'd do everything I would still not like it. There is no way I would agree to "put up with" even if he fed it, took it to the vet or cleaned up after it as sooner or later it WOULD fall to me and I'd resent that. Maybe resentment has built up in your husband and he has just snapped. (I'm not excusing his behaviour but it may explain what has led to him doing it, rather than him being a psycho animal abuser.)

You know, it's not like choosing to have a hamster or a goldfish. A dog or a cat becomes part of the family (unless you're going to lock it one room or in the garden, and that's cruel). Everybody needs to be fully on board, I have had dogs before as a child and the whole family went along to meet the puppy at the breeders and discuss the puppy's needs with the breeders.

if I owned a puppy that you wanted to take home to a house where one of the adults would only tolerate it, I would not release that dog to you.

I suspect he is irritated that you didn't let the dog out. You shouldn't have to ask him. I would be most irritated if someone starts a task, getting a dog etc, with the proviso that I wouldn't have to get involved then asks for involvement! Surely you see that you have some responsibility here? It could have been your children walking poo up the stairs.

I agree that you are minimising his reluctance about having a dog. He clearly does mind about having a dog, he expressly told you he didn't want to have any part in its care!

If you had cleaned the poo up in good time, then it wouldn't be there to be trod in.

Sorry but there is no excuse to spear dog shit in carpet.
The op does sem to be doing the care.
There's a difference between caring for an animal and simply letting it outside. Massively cruel of him to leave it.
If he was angry then he should be speaking to the op, not taking it out on the dog.

'And accidents do happen from time to time, even in 1-year-olds. Not all dogs are exactly the same even if they've been identically trained, funnily enough'

Did you mean to sound such a smu know it all MouseClogs?

'Smug'

Controlled crying

shudder

Misses the point of the thread.

I would only say if it was deliberate if the poo at the base of the stairs was in a well lit area and not disguised by a colour matched carpet. If it was easily visible I would 100% say this is deliberate especially as dog poo absolutely stinks and it's easily detectable in a small area.

He is a disgusting childish, petulant arse. Your DH that is, the dog is adorable

Saying you can have a dog but won't walk it etc is one thing.

Coming home when your dw is trying to get your baby to sleep and not picking up shit when you have other dc in the house is pathetic. Smearing it on the stairs is either having a seriously immature uncontrolled tantrum or abusive.

I think you should consider rehoming the dog as you cannot trust your dh to be alone with it.