Dog poo warning picture

[fizzingmum]

So my OH doesn't like our dog. He is an excitable puppy (it was agreed we could get him for the kids) but very loving and gentle with our new baby. All the kids love him and he is my little companion whilst on maternity leave. As a young dog he sometimes has accidents indoors. Tonight he pooped in the hallway. My OH stood in it and dragged it up the stairs. Not an accidental smudge but a deliberate protest against the dog. I feel he has done it on purpose and he denies this. However he only has dog Poo on one shoe so unless he was hopping up the stairs I don't see how this is an accident. It has been ground into the carpet. And it's not the first time, it's the third time. Last time he said he hadn't noticed he had stepped in it until he reached the top of the stairs, ensuring it was on every step along the way (again how unless he was hopping). And he was barefoot! How the hell do you not notice you have stepped in dog Poo when barefoot. I'm not sure if he is punishing me for not letting him out or if he is building a case to get rid of the dog. That won't happen as he is part of the family and I have made that clear. So my AIBU, he has called me crazy and stupid this evening for suggesting this was anything other than an accident. I don't see how it could be anything other than deliberate. AIBU to accuse him of this. Sorry about the photo and the rant.

Assert yourself. Tell him you're not stupid, you know he's done it on purpose and you're not going to accept it again. If he blusters and gets angry tell him to keep his fucking eyes open in future. If he continues then yes I would get revenge and clean it up using his own clothes.

You never should have got the dog. 5 out of 6 isn't enough it had to be all or none. I seriously hope your dp doesn't try taking out his frustrations on the dog. You sound as though you've replaced him with the dog and he knows it and doesn't like it. See it from his point of view.

Now you have the benefit of hindsight, try to reach a compromise with him. When he walks through the door ask him how he is and how his day went. Get him in a good mood before he treads further.

I think it's totally unreasonable to acquire a living animal, or child that your oh isn't fully in agreement with. Your decisions affect others. I think you have been unfair to your DH. You have no idea if he did it deliberately. I doubt it. But the fact it was there suggests you are unable to cope yourself with dog.
I would be angry that my children could be in danger of stepping in it.

It would be a deal breaker for me. I would have insisted you leave with dog.

Yuck deliberate poo smearing in your own home? Even if not deliberate he should of cleaned it up. Taking care of the dog is a separate issue to leaving ground in shit in your own house where your children live and not cleaning it.

Have I missed how he was bare foot, and only had poo on one shoe? Was that two different times? So out of the six people in the house, one of them has trodden it up the carpet twice, the others haven't? I can see why you are suspicious.

Ask him for a frank conversation about how he feels about the dog and the mess on the carpet. Then I think if he has a record of such rubbish communication and spiteful behaviour... I'd think about my options.

Okay, let's clear this up (pun intended).
This has happened three times. The first two times when he was a little pup and house training. On the second time my OH had no shoes on and managed to get Poo on every stair before he noticed. I don't believe this is possible (and of course he cleaned his feet afterwards). Pup had an accident last night as the kids were in their rooms and I was attempting to get baby to sleep in her own bed (massive fail). OH was working on his laptop. So the dog pooped inside. It doesn't happen often and isn't a sign of neglect or that I shouldn't have got the dog. He is the happiest, craziest little thing who brings much joy and love to our family. We have just moved house to a rural location and he runs daily on a huge field behind us. I think if I was a puppy this would be a life worth choosing
When I agreed to get a dog it was many years ago when I divorced. The kids asked and I said yes. However my work at the time meant it wasn't possible for a few years. When I started to work from home it was the best time to do it. OH had just moved in and so he was naturally consulted (although he knew before moving in it was on the agenda as a promise I had to keep from many moons before). Originally planned on a larger breed but taking OH feelings into account decided on a smaller breed (best decision ever actually). At the time he had opportunity to say no. I even said we could say he was allergic so he wasn't blamed by the kids for not getting a dog. He was fine with it as long as he didn't have to be responsible for his care. Cut to now and if he needs to be let out and is at the door OH will shout one of us. If I am out and puppy isn't with me I can call and ask OH to let him out and he will, but would never think of it himself. OH is way more intolerant of the dog in recent months than before. Not sure why (although he has scented on his favourite shirt, but he is settling into a new home and the vet said some behaviours are to be expected).
Anyway this is background info, the question is AIBU to think this is deliberate? Does it look to anyone like it could have been done accidentally? (given that Poo is only on one shoe). And why does my phone capitalise the word Poo!

You know, even the fact that you have to ask if it is deliberate is weird.

I am completely, 100% sure that DH would never in a million years deliberately spread shit around our house, never ever happen.

It is a really basic requirement in a partner I would think...

What are you going to do about it if you do decide it is deliberate?

It's unreasonable of two adults who live together to get a puppy and then one of them declare it "not my dog".

So DP has only been living with you and your DC for around two years? In which time you've gained a new baby and the pup. You have a DP problem, that is very nasty behaviour. Cute pup by the way 😍

This has a name - it's called a dirty protest. Usually used by very disturbed people, or very cross toddlers.

In his disgust he's tried to clean it off on the stairs. Unacceptable. Jealous. Not an adult way to handle things. And I need to know the dog's name. It's the rules...

What a lovely doggy 😍 I've always liked Boston's. Would definitely have one one day!!

His name is Cooper!
OH is outright denying it, what can I do. I'm not going to split the family up over it. Or this time anyway. Maybe OH has misunderstood his position in the pack!

So how are you going to go forward, OP?

I think you should rehome the dog. Having one adult in the home who hates the dog to this degree is damaging for everyone, not least the dog.

That's going to be impossible to remove completely what a twat (even if he loved the dog)

Call his bluff & say youre getting rid but actually get a friend to look after for a bit.

Would he fit through a cat flap?

Honestly I would rehome OH first. The dog is literally like my child. I have managed to get the muck out and sprayed with scent remover. Cooper is currently snuggled under my covers and oblivious to the drama his poop has caused. I will have to talk to OH and make sure he doesn't do it again. And make sure if I'm not around for a few evenings (hopefully it won't take too long to get baby in her own bed) that the kids are watching the dog. OH really is great in every other way but this isn't acceptable.

Yes we are going to get a dog flap for the back door but as we are getting new doors and windows it will have to wait. Won't help if it's raining or cold though as he refuses point blank to go out. Would rather cross his little paws and hold on than go out in the cold. Unless I physically go out with him, misery loves company!

Personally if I was your husband I would be making my way out of the door and leaving you to it.

That's 5 year old behaviour. He will be painting pictures of the walls with it next.

Does he behave like this in any other circumstances?

I'd be kicking my oh out too if he did this.
He calls you too let the dog out rather Than letting the poor dog out himself?
I'd seriously be watching his behaviour around the dog.

OP, you say but did say when we got him that he didn't want anything to do with him and wanted nothing to do with his daily care, which is fair enough

Along the lines of as long as your not asking me to do anything.

except that now it isn't fair enough and he's a complete tosser, arsehole, being equated with abusive ex husbands?

Honestly I would rehome OH first.

That's fairly fucked up. It's a dog. If that's how you feel, you'd be much better off ending the marriage now.

As none of us are on CSI, we have no idea if it was deliberate or not. Assuming he's not a serial dirty-protester or habitual liar, I'd believe my husband.

FFS, all we want to know is did you make sure that your DH cleared it up????

Well - her last post said she cleared it up herself

His behaviour seems weird but I can understand a person who's never had a dog before thinking that getting one would be ok, and that all care could be delegated to the rest of the family. I hazard a guess that reality is a lot different, especially with a young dog. Your OHs behaviour is just awful though. I'm not a dog lover and would never agree to one in my house, but I wouldn't spread shit around to make a point or refuse to open the fucking door!

I don't think you are suited to each other.

That is disgusting. Lovely for little ones with bare feet on the stairs .How could you stay with such an utter cunt is beyond me. I'd give him his marching orders. I bet he's a twat generally. I agree pretzel