To not pay for friend's taxi?

[GambaJoe]

Best friend and I have been very excited to go to a mutual friend of ours wedding for some time.

Beat friend has recently had a baby so is excited to let her hair down and show off her baby.

I've recently learned to drive and have my license. I am still a nervous driver and friend is now assuming that I'll be driving her and baby to wedding.

The thing is: I don't want a baby in my car. I don't feel ready to have that responsibility on my shoulders (not only for a worse case scenario but also crying while driving ect)

Friend is now in a huff and expecting me to pay or contribute to her getting there and getting back home.

WWYD? Drive the baby or help/pay taxi fare

If you have passed your test you will be safe to drive

Yes, but not necessarily with a crying baby on unfamiliar roads.

I've been driving for 30+ years, but if I am somewhere busy/unfamiliar I still ask the children to shush / turn the radio off so I can concentrate extra hard.

The drive is around an hour. And as said before the topic just never really came up. I half assumed her DP would be taking her as she knows how uncomfortable I am driving - I thought she wouldn't even want her baby in car with me!

What is so important about having alcohol when you're already on edge?

Do you really think the b&g will care if you toast with orange juice?

I think you are being ridiculous not wanting to drive with a baby in the car.

Alcohol isn't important to me at all. It was just an offhand comment as when I usually drink something like wine, I'm OK within the hour. Reading all the comments has put me off from even one glass.

Not at all! New drivers and shrieking kids are a bad match.

In fact a screaming baby means anyone will need to stop, too distracting.

Just tell her you want to have a few drinks so won't be driving.

I think you can do it
most babies will fall asleep, especially if she feeds before you leave

Exactly special I had a bad experience on holiday last year. On the shuttle bus a baby would NOT stop screaming on the motorway and I was so stressed and I wasn't even driving!

Is it a baby friendly wedding, like is the bride ok about the baby coming when it wasn't a factor when the mum was invited?

Good idea to share cab. Then you can enjoy yourself and not stress about driving home. And driving in the dark, on possibly icy, misty roads would not be fun for a nervous new driver. You've got the rest of your life to tackle those kind of drives.
It also has the added bonus of making a friend happy which is never a bad thing. I'm assuming because she's your best friend this is out of character.
Enjoy yourselves!

You're absolutely doing the right thing by refusing to take the baby. I've been driving a few years now and don't like driving with my own small child in the back when she is kicking off (10 months, kicking off is fairly frequent).

But please don't contribute to her taxi. She is an adult and is completely responsible for arranging her own transport - and I mean actually arranging, not assuming that someone else will do something. She was being entitled in the first place, now she is being entitled AND rude. Not a good match.

I think it's ridiculous you won't drive your friend and baby.

So what will happen in the future? Will you be left footing the bill for every trip where she has incorrectly assumed you will be her taxi? Could be an expensive precedent to set.

Don't contribute to the taxi and don't take her DD if you don't want to.

Both DD and DS screamed for months and months every time we went out in the car. It was piercing and very distracting. DH would drive as he's pretty hard to phase but I found it very hard even though I am an experienced driver.

I think your friend is a chancer. If she wanted a lift then she should have been the one to have spoken to you about it ages ago. You're doing her a favour, she shouldn't have presumed and she should have organised her own travel plans (by talking to the car driver she was planning to travel with). Don't feel bad, she's hoping to either guilt you into taking her DD even though you're not happy with it or pay half of her taxi fare. May be she should have learnt to drive in the past year and offered you a lift?

Stick to what you want to do.

I'd also say that if she thinks she's letting her hair down while also taking her baby to a wedding, then I think you're the one babysitting!

It would be stupid and reckless to drive with a baby when you feel the potential distraction might be dangerous. Lots of new drivers need quiet. The baby might be quiet but might cry. It's stupid to drive in situations you don't feel comfortable in, even if the rest of the population can do it. No doubt in a few months op will be able to drive with a baby.

Of course you don't have to take any passengers in your car you don't want to take, baby or not. And of course you don't have to pay for your friend's taxi.

But if I were your friend, I'd make damned sure I never did anything for you that I didn't have to do. Especially as you'd have been sharing that taxi if you'd failed your test, and you could have mentioned that you wouldn't be comfortable taking a baby as soon as you realised she'd thought you'd be ok with it.

FWIW, you can't be that bloody nervous if you're planning on drinking at all before driving back.

TBH if I thought I was getting a lift with someone who'd just passed their driving test, I'd absolutely be chatting to them about it long in advance and then I'd have a back up plan in case they didn't want to drive a long distance nearer the time. It's a huge difference driving your own car just after your test than being out with an instructor in a dual control car.

Why don't you split the cab? As in both go In the cab and pay half each then you don't have to worry about driving at all. And can drink and both have a nice time...I understand not wanting to drive a baby when you have just qualified. So as she's your friend why can't you get a cab together...?

I agree, don't pay anything for the taxi, how she gets there is nothing to do with you. She didn't organise anything herself or ask you for a lift - that is what friends do, not assume you're happy to drive around their baby while they get pissed.

If you don't want to drive with the baby, then there shouldn't be a discussion. You don't put yourself behind the wheel when you are feeling unsafe. I've not been regularly driving long and feel exactly the same.

Frankly if someone said they didn't want to drive with my kid in the car I wouldn't want them to - why would you want a nervous driver with your baby in the back?!

The fact that your friend assumed you'd be giving her a lift, rather than asking in the first place, doesn't make it your fault.

Exactly what prepared said. I thought this was what you were doing. It will be a long dark cold drive back on your own. Not fun.

I thought they were splitting the cab now? Or did I misread the post 🤔

It's her responsibility to make arrangements to convey herself and baby to wedding
She,not unreasonably,thought you'd drive her & baby to wedding
If you can't she has to make her own arrangements at her own cost.you don't pay

why is her dp not taking her? that would be the best solution

I was/am a nervous driver but was the opposite in that I felt better when I had someone in the car with me, although not a screaming baby, even now I find that distracting and stressful