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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A precious cargo!!! Parenting Teens

102 replies

Misteemoments · 23/01/2017 09:32

Hi I know what I should say, I know what I want to say but it's not always that simple.

After 6 years of not missing a weekend there was nothing I could do but request help from fellow parents asking if someone could give my 16 year old a lift home from football this weekend.. the parent I thought was dropping him home didn't, the parent who did regularly drinks 3 or 4 pints!! Then drives. I'm angry and upset If I told my lad not too get in car he'd tell me I was being stupid. If I tried approaching this man he'd tell me to F off as he can be a real nob. The problem is it's mostly dads who drive and most of them think 3 pints is ok to drive - I don't

OP posts:
Rainydayspending · 23/01/2017 09:33

At 16? Why is a lift necessary? A bus/ bike/ walking would be more reliable wouldn't they?

OneWithTheForce · 23/01/2017 09:34

So just don't have anyone else pick him up in future. Arrange a taxi if you can't collect him.

Original poster
Misteemoments · 23/01/2017 09:37

Because game was 20 miles from home

OP posts:
OneWithTheForce · 23/01/2017 09:39

Well it's done now and nothing happened. Just arrange something else for next time.

DeathStare · 23/01/2017 09:49

If all the parents are drinking 3 pints then driving - from a known starting point at a known time - I'd be giving this information to the police.

Original poster
Misteemoments · 23/01/2017 09:52

Thanks for input I wonder if your attitude would be the same if it was your kid. Had you of read my thread properly you'd of seen I had arranged something else it was changed at club without my knowledge.

My dilemma if you like, which I perhaps didn't clarify, is I don't think anyone should ferry other people's kids if they have had a drink??

OP posts:
Original poster
Misteemoments · 23/01/2017 09:54

I think you have a valid point whether they will do anything is a different Story but at least I'll of done the right thing

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 23/01/2017 09:55

I don't agree with drink driving. Yanbu in that front. Yabu to use the term 'precious cargo' though Grin

Original poster
Misteemoments · 23/01/2017 09:56

Valid point to death stare btw. Thank you

OP posts:
CommonFramework · 23/01/2017 09:57

TBH your post is quite hard to follow.

I agree that nobody shold be drinking and driving. Why don;'t you report them, if this is a regular thing? It's not just your teen who's 'precious'. Other road users are too.

OneWithTheForce · 23/01/2017 09:58

My dilemma if you like, which I perhaps didn't clarify, is I don't think anyone should ferry other people's kids if they have had a drink??

No you really didn't clarify that this was what you wanted to discuss and that isn't a dilemma, it's a discussion. And yes I did read your thread properly, you didn't ask anything. You stated that this had happened. I suggested you arrange alternatives so it doesn't happen again. Why do you have a problem with that?

PurpleDaisies · 23/01/2017 10:02

I don't agree with drink driving. Yanbu in that front. Yabu to use the term 'precious cargo' though

This with bells on.

"Precious cargo" makes me want to vomit.

Original poster
Misteemoments · 23/01/2017 10:02

It's first time I've ever posted on here I was looking for some helpful input not an argument, thank you for your comment. You have a great day 😁

OP posts:
EdmundCleverClogs · 23/01/2017 10:03
  1. Do you know for a fact the person who drove your teen home was over the limit?
  2. If you know someone drink-drives, why haven't you reported them?
  3. Why can't your 16 year old make his own travel arrangements? A bus, arranging his own lifts, a taxi etc. I don't know what '20 miles' has to do with it.
  4. Yabu for using the phrase 'precious cargo'. I will assume that was just being lighthearted though.
bigmouthstrikesagain · 23/01/2017 10:03

I think the point is that a 16 yo should be able to organise their own transport. Unless they are going somewhere public transport cannot reach, and cannot sort it out amongst their team mates for some reason. I was taking myself off to London and surrounding towns, by train, bus, bike etc by that age. My parents were not involved as a rule (neither could drive and we didn't have a car).

Drink driving is wrong regardless of their "cargo" so it was a difficult situation your ds was in. He may have felt more empowered to refuse the lift if he was used to getting himself from a to b.

user1484317265 · 23/01/2017 10:05

My dilemma if you like, which I perhaps didn't clarify, is I don't think anyone should ferry other people's kids if they have had a drink??

Yes, such a dilemma. Hmm Did you really think that loads of posters were going to say "We love drink driving, totally into it!"

Hmm
OneWithTheForce · 23/01/2017 10:05

Grin helpful input is exactly what you got! What other help do you need apart from "arrange alternative transport next time!"?

Maybe you should get a feel for MN before posting again.

19lottie82 · 23/01/2017 10:06

If my 16 year old DSD was coming back from a sporting event 20 miles away, I'd pick her up. And I'd be really pissed off of a car share partner was Doing the run after 3 pints!

Why are people having a go at he OP?

Megatherium · 23/01/2017 10:10

I guess your real dilemma is what to do about this should the situation arise again. I really think all you can do is to tell your son to get a taxi which you will pay for on arrival at home.

Misteemoments · 23/01/2017 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 23/01/2017 10:13

Jeezo, a bit ott OP. Stop being aggressive, it was a jokey comment. You're right about the drunk driving, just make alternative arrangements. I don't really know what else you want people to say?

EdmundCleverClogs · 23/01/2017 10:13

Because, 19lottie82, your tone is exactly like the op's. Instead of doing what a responsible person would do (tell teen never to get into a car with someone they think has been drinking, report said person before they kill someone), you come on AIBU, making out a 16 year old is too precious to be able to get themselves home responsibly and ask a perfectly obvious question. Of course drink driving is wrong, but we don't know this person, the op should have reported it at the time. What is anyone on here going to say differently?

DonaldStott · 23/01/2017 10:14

the wrath of a pack of bitches

Chaming Grin

EdmundCleverClogs · 23/01/2017 10:15

Oh, I can see what this is now. Shouldn't have bitten...

PurpleDaisies · 23/01/2017 10:15

Blimey aren't some of you vile!!! Precious cargo unreasonable? Makes you want to vomit?

It's a really twee way of referring to someone and it implies some passengers are more valuable than others. That's what I dislike about it.

On the actual substance of the matter everybody agrees with you. Nobody should be drink drinking under any circumstances.