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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

A precious cargo!!! Parenting Teens

102 replies

Misteemoments · 23/01/2017 09:32

Hi I know what I should say, I know what I want to say but it's not always that simple.

After 6 years of not missing a weekend there was nothing I could do but request help from fellow parents asking if someone could give my 16 year old a lift home from football this weekend.. the parent I thought was dropping him home didn't, the parent who did regularly drinks 3 or 4 pints!! Then drives. I'm angry and upset If I told my lad not too get in car he'd tell me I was being stupid. If I tried approaching this man he'd tell me to F off as he can be a real nob. The problem is it's mostly dads who drive and most of them think 3 pints is ok to drive - I don't

OP posts:

OneWithTheForce · 23/01/2017 10:16

OOoh you sound lovely. I wonder if there were no alternative lifts because you've name called everyone else available.

If I tried approaching this man he'd tell me to F off as he can be a real nob.

Maybe he has met you before.

longdiling · 23/01/2017 10:18

Bloody hell. What has the op done to deserve this bizarre and nasty reaction?! What a shame your son couldn't rely on a lift from another parent on this one occasion op. Depending on the day and time and bus routes it's not all that easy to 'just get a bus'. My parents helped me out with lifts at that age. After all I was too young to learn to drive and still lived at home. I was also very independent in other ways and had a part time job and walked/bused it when I could.

NavyandWhite · 23/01/2017 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneWithTheForce · 23/01/2017 10:19

What has the op done to deserve this bizarre and nasty reaction?

She was bizarre and nasty to perfectly decent responses.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 23/01/2017 10:20

long calling people bitches for a light hearted comment didn't exactly make her endearing, nor did her weird reaction to Force's pretty reasonable post.

longdiling · 23/01/2017 10:21

Perfectly decent responses? Are you fucking kidding me?! Every single one bar lottie was snide and unpleasant! I'm not surprised she had a pop back.

DonaldStott · 23/01/2017 10:21

*charming obvs

rogueantimatter · 23/01/2017 10:22

Why the rude comments about 'precious cargo'? Is there anything more precious than your own family?

Why is it mostly the dads who do the driving?

Do they really think it's okay to have 3 pints before driving?

You have to spell out the danger to your DS. If needs must, get a taxi. For part of the way even.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 23/01/2017 10:22

You're reading a completely different thread I think long...

Finola1step · 23/01/2017 10:22

You are absolutely right to be angry that someone over the drink drove limit drove your son home.

This is a golden opportunity to have discussions with your son about not accepting lifts from those who have been drinking. And how to spot the signs.

But hitting out at posters on here will not help. For future reference, posting in AIBU will always bring harsher replies compared to posting in Chat, Teenagers, Relationships etc.

Whether you report these drunk drivers to the police is your decision to make.

OneWithTheForce · 23/01/2017 10:25

Are you fucking kidding me?!

Fucking no.

SparklyFuckingBusinessFairy · 23/01/2017 10:25

Countdown to delete.... 1, 2, 3....

Seriously though, do "most dads" in other people's experience think it's ok to drive after 3 pints? Surely not! My DF might have done at one point, being from a different generation, but he wouldn't do it now, and DP would never do it.

SparklyFuckingBusinessFairy · 23/01/2017 10:26

Oh god, I can't even count down this morning. 3... 2... 1........

NavyandWhite · 23/01/2017 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 23/01/2017 10:29

Well that made me laugh Sparkly!

lozzylizzy · 23/01/2017 10:30

My DS1 plays football and usually the matches are in villages etc where it would probably take hours to change buses. Also with it being a Sunday there would more than likely be a reduced public transport service especially when usually it is around a 10am meet!

OneWithTheForce · 23/01/2017 10:30

sparkly!

PurpleDaisies · 23/01/2017 10:31

why the rude comments about 'precious cargo'? Is there anything more precious than your own family?

It's an absolutely nauseating phrase. My dh is the life of my life but I wouldn't dream of referring to him as such.

I wasn't exactly being deathly serious when I said it made me want to vomit. Maybe I should have put a smiley face after my post to make it clear.

Finola1step · 23/01/2017 10:32

Damn it. I missed what the OP put in his message that got deleted. Damn, damn, damn.

EdmundCleverClogs · 23/01/2017 10:34

Whether you report these drunk drivers to the police is your decision to make.

No, if someone is drink driving, it's not a 'decision to make'. There's no 'ifs and buts'. The op's child is no more 'precious cargo' than anyone else on the road. It should be reported. If you're angry enough your child could have been hurt, you should have the cognition to realise someone else's loved ones could be as well, not moan about it online then be suprised when people ask you why you didn't report it.

blueskyinmarch · 23/01/2017 10:34

OP i think what people are saying is that you are lambasting the guy that gave your DS a lift home because he regularly drinks 3/4 pints and drives. No-one on MN would ever condone that behaviour. However you have no idea if he was drinking on this occasion and given you couldn’t get you son home he was doing you a favour.

At age 16 your DS should be able to know whether someone might have been drinking or not. If nothing else after a few pints he would reeking of alcohol. If this was the case he would have to speak up and say he is not getting in the car. Better to be stranded 20 miles away than in danger. In future make sure he always has sufficient bus fare to get himself home if such an occasion arises.

I would suggest in future you don’t use “precious cargo’ to describe a 16 young man. Maybe save that for small babies?

WorraLiberty · 23/01/2017 10:41

Why the rude comments about 'precious cargo'? Is there anything more precious than your own family?

I have 2 teenage boys - In a car, I call them passengers.

Precious cargo - In a car, is a phrase I would reserve for picking up a McDonald's meal from a drive-thru.

You need to take the corners really carefully, to avoid drink and fries spillage

NavyandWhite · 23/01/2017 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

myfavouritecolourispurple · 23/01/2017 10:42

Why can't your 16 year old make his own travel arrangements? A bus, arranging his own lifts, a taxi etc. I don't know what '20 miles' has to do with it

20 miles has everything to do with it.

Those of you who live in London or Edinburgh or other cities with good transport links may be unaware that bus links outside the cities are rubbish. You are lucky if there is a bus at all, particularly at weekends, and particularly at the time you need. So as a parent I would organise a lift. In fact I would help to organise a lift for another adult because I don't think you stop helping people because they have reached the age of 16/18. And I would not expect a 16 year old to pay for a taxi to go 20 miles.

BathshebaDarkstone · 23/01/2017 10:42

They might live somewhere with a shit bus service, like where I used to live.

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