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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a D & C on Monday after MMC. Scared. AIBU to ask for your experiences?

94 replies

PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:22

Although I have kind of come to terms with the fact that I have lost my baby :( I am scared about the actual process of the D and C that I am having on Monday, and about the after effects. I was wondering if anyone who has had one before could tell me about it? What's the pain like afterwards? I have been told I shouldn't go back to work until Thursday- is this about right? Will I bleed a lot? Any advice or handholding would be greatly appreciated.

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percythepenguin · 21/01/2017 15:27
Flowers I had one a couple of years ago and it was actually fine, went into theatre, was put to sleep and the next thing I knew I was in a bed in recovery feeling all high and floaty. The pain and bleeding weren't any worse than a period either but definitely stay off work as you might find yourself feeling more emotional again after it.
empirerecordsrocked · 21/01/2017 15:28

Hi sorry you are going through this. I had no pain at all, bleeding just like a normal period.

I was signed off work for two weeks - my dr recommended it to have time to mentally process it, not the physical.

Flowers
Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:29

Thanks for your reply Percy. It doesn't help that I've never had an operation before :/ do you think Thursday is about right to go back to work or should I take the whole week?

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Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:31

Thanks empire. I live in China and I think they are a bit more cavalier here about the emotional effects :( luckily there is a national holiday coming up anyway so if I can get the doc to sign me off for Thursday too then I can have a full two weeks off.

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HappySeven · 21/01/2017 15:35

I had mine on the Friday and went to work as normal on the Monday. I accept that may not be for everyone but I wanted to keep the experience private and so carry on as normal. I did get upset but it was manageable. Physically I was fine. I cried as they knocked me out but I think I felt relief afterwards as although I bled I wasn't miscarrying anymore.

Be kind to yourself and see how you feel maybe. Have you told your manager what you're going through?

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:38

Thanks Happy. Yes, my work are aware and supportive. I know what you mean about keeping things normal - but don't want to feel rushed back to work in case I don't feel I can go in

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percythepenguin · 21/01/2017 15:43

I had mine on a Friday, was out for a walk the next day and flying to another part of the country for a professional exam on the Tuesday, it was OK but everyone is different and if I was you I'd take the Thursday off as welll!

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:45

Blimey Percy that's impressive! I'm going to ask the doc to sign me off until Thursday I think- I can always go in anyway if I feel better

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MulderitsmeX · 21/01/2017 15:50

I had mine last friday and went back ro work yesterday. Still bleeding a bit but it was never loads, got quite bad cramps the whole week but am feeling much better now.

The process itself is quick and fairly painless. Just make sure you rest lots snd give yourself some tlc. Flowers

Dulcimena · 21/01/2017 15:50

I am so sorry Flowers

I've had two of these now and both times had bleeding just like a heavy period. Honestly I would take as much time as you can off, once it was done I was very emotional and personally couldn't have gone back to work within days. Physically I was fine but emotionally I definitely was not - there's a finality to the operation I think. The GA will probably make you more emotional for a few days anyway.

Take care of yourself. Have you got support?

Crabbitstick · 21/01/2017 15:50

I had one 9 yrs ago. There was a lot of waiting about in morning (Was in with lots of other day surgeries). Had a pessary inserted to soften my cervix. This caused cramping similar to a bad period. The anaesthetic worked very fast and woke up hours later a bit hazy but fine. Was told to go home and sleep, which I did. I don't recall a lot of bleeding after, just needed a panty liner. Don't recall having pain after. Was emotionally fragile but relived it was done and could start to move on. Got upset when people were nice/asked how I was.
Think I had mine done on a Thursday and went back to work next Tuesday. Physically I was ready. Take care of yourself.

MrsMattMurdock · 21/01/2017 15:51

I've had two of these unfortunately. The first one was my first general anaesthetic and I was convinced I wouldn't wake up. I was crying as they put me to sleep. But it was over in a flash. I woke up in recovery and was fine, there were limited period-type pains and slight discomfort to my cervix-nothing paracetamol couldn't handle. The second time I bled for 3 weeks in total afterwards. On about the 5th day I had lots of clots which felt horrible and were upsetting but not dangerous. I was well looked after although I still felt very vulnerable. I would have the whole week off-both times I have had 2 weeks off but I have a very lovely employer. When you wake up you will feel drowsy and may be shivery for a short while, you will have an oxygen mask on but only until you come round properly. They know what they are doing and will look after you.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:53

I'd also like to know about sex afterwards Blush we've been told no sex for two weeks but does that include non -preventative sex? For example would it be bad for me to have an orgasm? And we have also been told that we shouldn't TTC again for two months :( what's the reason fit this? Is it actually dangerous or is it just because i won't ovulate for a while? Sorry to ask but it's hard to get as much info as I'd like here...

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MrsMattMurdock · 21/01/2017 15:55

You can't have sex till you've stopped bleeding because of infection risk. They like you to have at least one period before TTC so you know where you are with dates should you conceive. Good luck, you'll get through it xx

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:55

Thank you so much - lots of replies while i was typing! Flowers to all of you who have been through this

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SparklyLeprechaun · 21/01/2017 15:56

The intervention was absolutely fine, in the theatre one moment and next thing I knew I was in recovery. For me it was waking up and realising it's over that was difficult. I started crying the moment I woke up. Physically I was fine, there was no pain at all, I could have gone into work the next day, no problem, bleeding was at the level of a heavy period, but more inconsistent. Just make sure you don't go out and about without a spare pad in your handbag like I did Blush

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:56

Ah yes, I suppose that's a good point about the period, thanks! DH and I just want to get this over with and try again, but I guess it woukd be sensible to wait

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Crabbitstick · 21/01/2017 15:57

There is some new research that says you're better conceiving within 6 months of MC.
I think the two month suggestion is to give you time to physically and emotionally recover and make sure you have a normal period.
Your cervix will be tender and hormone changes can effect your body's lubrication etc. for sex potentially making it uncomfortable.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:58

Just looked back at my post from 15.53 and realised I meant of course non-penetrative sex! Hmm

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Dulcimena · 21/01/2017 15:58

As I recall, no sex is because your cervix will have been dilated and is therefore a bit vulnerable - so it's trying to stop unnecessary bashing (sorry could not think of a better word) and keeping any possible germs away. You may be given antibiotics after the op actually - I was I think both times. I didn't feel very sexy for a little while afterwards tbh!

The no trying for 2 months is to make sure that your cycle's gone back to normal and your uterus has flushed out completely iirc. Possibly also to help dating your next pregnancy easier. I think the risk of another is possible if you get pregnant very quickly after a mmc - I don't know if this is true but the two months is standard advice.

Dulcimena · 21/01/2017 15:59

Blimey you all type much quicker than I can :)

Mermaidinthesea · 21/01/2017 16:00

It;s no big deal at all, losing your baby was much worse. I've had two and suffered no ill effects at all. It isn't painful and they give you drugs every step of the way.
Mention to a nurse how scared you are when you go in and they will explain it all too you and take care of you.
It's a very minor operation and should cause you no ill effects.
You get free drugs that will make you feel great :-) Don't be afraid. I've had loads of major operations and they have all been fine, this is a very minor one so you will be fine too.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:01

Right, so DH and I need to use condoms for a while then. We don't much like them :( but if there is a higher risk of miscarriage soon after a miscarriage, I don't want to rush it

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Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:01

Thank you mermaid, that's a very comforting post :)

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Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:08

Anyone know about the orgasm thing? Blush I have a pretty high sex drive...

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