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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a D & C on Monday after MMC. Scared. AIBU to ask for your experiences?

94 replies

PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:22

Although I have kind of come to terms with the fact that I have lost my baby :( I am scared about the actual process of the D and C that I am having on Monday, and about the after effects. I was wondering if anyone who has had one before could tell me about it? What's the pain like afterwards? I have been told I shouldn't go back to work until Thursday- is this about right? Will I bleed a lot? Any advice or handholding would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
TheOnlyWayIsMN · 21/01/2017 18:24

Sorry for your loss. Had one about 6 years ago now and the procedure was fine and recovery too. The worst was waiting for it all to kick off. We conceived within 3 months and have a healthy DC bouncing around now.

Id suggest taking something to read or maybe an ipod or something like that and just take it easy after. Maybe get some ready meals in so you don't have to do any extra stuff.

Good luck

MTMFH · 21/01/2017 18:33

Sorry for your loss 💐

After my MMC I didn't need a D&C but I would say take some time off work, I had a week and a bit off as I was so emotional and needed time to come to terms. Good luck.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 21/01/2017 18:39

I'm sorry that you're going through this OP 💐
It's more emotional, than painful, and a relatively quick and simple procedure, nothing to worry about. As said above, there could possibly be some waiting around. You may want to take some pants and pads of your choice.
Take time off, if you can, and rest up.
You probably won't feel much like sex, to be honest, but will need to use protection, and be aware that you are at a higher risk of infection.
I was told to wait two weeks before having sex.
I hope it won't be too long, before you have a beautiful baby in your arms.

LuluJakey1 · 21/01/2017 18:51

I had a D and C on a Thursday and went back to work the following Monday- very little bleeding, no more than a normal period, no cramps.

northernlights84 · 21/01/2017 20:53

Hi it doesn't hurt and was over really quickly. I did bleed quite a lot after (big clots sorry tmi!) and then it stopped for a day then I bled heavily again but with no real pain. I have come to terms with it by the time of the operation so although it was sad I had already done my crying. Good luck

Catlady1976 · 21/01/2017 21:01

I had mine on a Sunday. I felt fine after the op. Much better than I did before the surgery as I was I in alot of pain. I was still on maternity leave so I jydtchad to heaven with looking after Dd. Emotionally it was tough but not physically. Good luck op

Catlady1976 · 21/01/2017 21:02

I just had to get on with looking after dd.

Teabird · 21/01/2017 21:14

So sorry for your loss OP. I have had two MMC and 2 ERPC's as a result. They were 4 months apart. I also cried when going under and coming round, the nurses were great, very caring and understanding, one sitting with me, hugging me and tell me her own sad experience.

The bleeding was minimal each time and the pain was eased with Oramorph (lovely stuff!!) in hospital and paracetmol at home. I had 2 weeks off each time more for my mental health as I was very emotional and I have a very customer facing role at work.

I spoke to a consultant after my 2nd ERPC as it was actually my third MC. She said only to wait until the bleeding stopped to TTC again for infection reason and obviously when I felt emotionally ready. I conceived my eldest DD within 3 weeks within no problems in the pregnancy.

Take care of yourself and take as much time to rest and recover as you feel you need. Flowers

Gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2017 21:30

I had d&c two years ago and am currently thinking i may be in line for another i would choose it any day over natural or medical. Both of which i tried with my mmc.

The waiting psychologically was horrendous then the horrible time i had with the failed medical management. When i had the d&c it was such a relief! Painless and barely any blood loss (although i had already lost A LOT due to the medical).

I was very tired after and easily needed a week to recover but that was the only thing i felt and in all honesty i was anaemic due to the medical management so.it could have been a combination of the two. My first ever op too! It was great tbh.

Gingerbreadmam · 21/01/2017 21:31

Sorry for your loss also and as a lot of people on this thread i was pg again 6 weeks after d&c.

twocockersarebetterthanone · 21/01/2017 21:38

The actual procedure was fine but although I'd had two weeks knowing I'd lost my baby the finality of the op affected me a lot more than I thought it would. It was almost like all the time I had a baby inside me it hadn't happened even though I knew the baby had died (11 weeks) and had come to terms with it. The ERPC meant I couldn't kid myself.

blossombottom · 21/01/2017 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadJeffBarn · 21/01/2017 22:55

I'm so sorry for your loss. I actually work in theatre, it's a very quick procedure. If you had any questions ide be happy to answer them xxx

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 23:39

Thank you so much to all Flowers and sorry to all of you who have experienced the sad loss of your babies. I really do feel much better now for having read all of your experiences :)

OP posts:
bananafish81 · 22/01/2017 00:15

So sorry for your loss. I had an ERPC in Mar after a MMC - afraid I haven't yet RTFT but from my skim read any practical tips I would have offered have already been mentioned

My experience was very straightforward - the procedure was so quick and painless, minimal bleeding. Unfortunately I needed a follow up operation 6 weeks later as I still had retained products - you should be getting negative pregnancy tests by 4 weeks post ERPC, but if not then you should insist on an hCG blood test and ultrasound scan. Hopefully you will be one of those women who can say they were more fertile after a miscarriage and conceived very quickly again x

bananafish81 · 22/01/2017 00:16

(Although I wanted to biff anyone who said that you were more fertile after a miscarriage to me, given that I can't get pregnant naturally and it had taken 2 rounds of IVF to get to that point)

elliejjtiny · 22/01/2017 01:50

I had one 5 years ago and I've also had a natural miscarriage which was a lot worse physically.

I didn't need the pessary because I'd had babies before. I was given a choice of being on the gynae theatre list or the day surgery one. I chose day surgery because there would be no emergencies there to go in front of me so less waiting around getting nervous which is the worst bit. Everyone was really lovely. Dh could wait with me and then I had to go to theatre on my own. Take dressing gown and slippers with you for that bit.

They put me to sleep with gas as I cried when they tried to do it with the needle. It was scented, a bit like air freshener. It made me feel pleasantly drunk, like I was floating and the next thing I knew I was awake. Hardly any pain and less bleeding than my period but it did get heavier if I was active, running around after 3dc, housework etc.

I got tea and toast afterwards and I could go after i'd eaten that and had a wee so about an hour. They said I could see the baby if I wanted. I wasn't sure so I asked the nurse if she would look first and tell me what he looked like. She said that he was in a little bag with his placenta and I decided I didn't want to see him like that as he would have looked nicer in the scan photo that I had. I wish i'd got one of those 4d scans of him done with lots of photos though. I was making him a patchwork blanket when he died so I brought one of the squares with me and the nurse put it with him and he still had it when he was buried.

He was buried 2 months later with all the other babies miscarried that month and the month after. They had a little white coffin, undertaker and the hospital chaplain who both treated the occasion the same as if we'd been burying any other person. It was as lovely as it could have been.

I hope your operation goes ok for you and best of luck with ttc.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 22/01/2017 02:47

Thank you Ellie for sharing your sad experience in such detail. I'm very sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. It sounds as though you were a lot further on than me when you lost him :( Flowers for you x

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 22/01/2017 20:31

Your welcome Polly. I was 13 weeks pregnant. Technically I don't know if he was a boy but I've got 5 living boys so the odds are this one was a boy too. It just feels nicer to say him instead of it.

Clueless84 · 22/01/2017 21:31

I had one, and was as positive an experience as it could be. Had it on the weds morning and was back at work on the following mon.
Was still prone to teariness at that point but was physically able.
I bled for a looooong time afterwards (just lightly) and had to get tablets to stop it, but other than that no ill effects.
Was pregnant again with my now 14 month old within 6 months.
Best of luck to you x

Annie592 · 22/01/2017 22:52

I felt physically fine straight away after mine, but had a few weeks off work as couldn't stop crying. Bled for around 3 weeks afterwards which felt forever at the time. Got pregnant again 3 months later. Really sorry for your loss xxx

TurquoiseDress · 22/01/2017 23:20

Sorry for your loss OP.

I had a missed miscarriage over 6 months ago, last summer.

Went for medical management so can't comment on ERPC. I was too chicken to go for the surgery and worried that it would affect my chances of conceiving again.

Feeling envious of all those who fell pregnant again quickly following their miscarriages...it's been over 6 months of TTC and I personally now don't believe that you are more fertile after a MC, it certainly hasn't been the case for me.

Good luck with everything, there are a lot of useful & kind messages here.

Gingerbreadmam · 23/01/2017 11:18

Hope everything goes smoothly today op, thinking of you Flowers

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 23/01/2017 11:20

Thank you so much! I'm 8 hours ahead of the UK here, so I am home now after my op. Feeling tired and woozy, some bleeding but not too much and barely any pain. DH is looking after me and all in all I feel OK. Thanks to everyone who made such kind and helpful posts Flowers

OP posts:
Gingerbreadmam · 23/01/2017 11:49

That's good to hear polly. You take care.