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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a D & C on Monday after MMC. Scared. AIBU to ask for your experiences?

94 replies

PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 15:22

Although I have kind of come to terms with the fact that I have lost my baby :( I am scared about the actual process of the D and C that I am having on Monday, and about the after effects. I was wondering if anyone who has had one before could tell me about it? What's the pain like afterwards? I have been told I shouldn't go back to work until Thursday- is this about right? Will I bleed a lot? Any advice or handholding would be greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Kleinzeit · 21/01/2017 16:11

I'm sorry about your loss Sad I've had a couple of D&Cs: two for missed miscarriages, one for getting out a coil that got stuck. All with a short general aneasthetic and none of them were physically a big deal. No pain or cramp afterwards. A little bit of bleeding - like a light period - for a day or two. I stayed in bed for a day afterwards because the general anaesthetic tends to make me woozy and I went back to work the next day, but no harm in having a longer rest especially if you need a bit of emotional recovery time. The worst thing about the missed miscarriages was feeling sad afterwards. Flowers

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:15

Thank you Kleinzeit. I found out about my MMC about ten days ago and have obviously cried a lot since then but now feel a bit more resigned :( but maybe I'll feel differently after the op :(

OP posts:
whippetwoman · 21/01/2017 16:24

I had a D&C and it was really fine. I recovered really quickly with no after effects and it was a D&C for a failed twin pregnancy. It really was ok as it's very routine and I was pregnant again two months later - which went to term and was fine.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:26

Whippetwoman, thank you and I'm sorry for the loss of your twins :( do you mind me asking at what point you began TTC again if you were pregnant so soon?

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RifRafia · 21/01/2017 16:30

I had 2 last year 5 months apart SadI have to say I was really well looked after both times by compassionate nurses and Drs. The op itself was fine, and afterwards although I felt empty there was also a feeling of relief that after weeks of worry there was no reason to worry any more as worst had already happened, and then I felt much more able to move on.

Dulcimena · 21/01/2017 16:31

OP I am sure you'll be fine - as others have said it is a quick and routine op. No idea about orgasms but do ask beforehand in case you forget when you're discharged. Take care and let your OH look after you Flowers

MsHooliesCardigan · 21/01/2017 16:33

I had a MMC followed by a D&C 10 years ago. The op was absolutely fine, I just bled a bit afterwards. From what I read, the advice about waiting a couple of months before trying again is mainly about dating the pregnancy accurately. I cannot see any reason why an orgasm whould do any harm. I think the advice about not having intercourse would be to do with the risk of infection.
I had DS2 14 months later at the age of 40. Good luck.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:33

Thank you both Flowers I feel a bit embarrassed asking the doctor about orgasm though! Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:35

MrsHoolies I don't really see why either but wondered if the contractions caused by an orgasm might be painful or dangerous

OP posts:
Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:36

RifRafia two in 5 months! Sad that is truly awful for you x

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Anniegetyourgun · 21/01/2017 16:37

I had one over 30 years ago. Still remember it as quite a pleasant experience, but I guess it depends how well you handle general anaesthetic. The anaesthetist asked me to count backwards from 10 and I can only remember saying "Yes..." and then waking up being wheeled down a corridor and asking if it was all over, and the nurse confirmed it was. I was a bit weak and tender for a couple of weeks but not a lot more so than with a standard period. They signed me off work for 2 weeks.

I thought they were going to carry out tests but the GP told me they don't bother with a first because it's a lot more common than you might think for a first pregnancy not to make it. She put it like my body having a practice run, which may not be medically accurate but was quite reassuring. Following the recommended 2 months' break we ttc and had DC1 the following year with no trouble.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:40

Thanks Annie - that's reassuring

OP posts:
BridgetDarcy · 21/01/2017 16:46

I am very sorry for your loss.

I had mine on a Tuesday and was told to take at least two days off. I took the rest of the week. I bled a lot. For about two weeks I had period type bleeding and every 2-3 days lost big clots. I wasn't in pain but emotionally struggled.

We were told no sex for two weeks. The bleeding puts you at risk of infection. After this was fine.

We weren't told we had to wait a set time before ttc again. I had one period a month afterwards and fell pregnant that cycle.

Good luck and take it easy.

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:49

Thank you Bridget. I'm sorry for your loss too Flowers

OP posts:
altiara · 21/01/2017 16:51

I bled for 3.5 weeks after m/c and op and 3 days later had my period. I was then pregnant 2 weeks later. 6weeks after m/c.
Didn't get told not to have sex or anything, (literally told nothing) just didn't want to have sex as was crying all of the time and bleeding heavily for weeks on end. So not sure that was much help actually but am sure it's ok to have an orgasm if you want one Flowers

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 16:54

Thanks altiara. I am assuming I'll want an orgasm as I very often do GrinBlushGrin but I guess the op may make me feel differently!
Loving all the positive stories about conceiving soon after a D and C, by the way! Thank you all and do please keep them coming!

OP posts:
MulderitsmeX · 21/01/2017 16:57

I was told to wait one month before TTC again, (definitely can't wait any longer). I think you're most fertile after a MC also so good to capitalise on that i think.

swizzlestar · 21/01/2017 16:59

I had a mmc 6 years ago. I had the erpc, and was really nervous as I'd never had a general anaesthetic or operation before.

In reality it was fine, the easiest bit of the whole experience actually. I had two weeks off work, and then a further week as I was really unlucky and got an infection.

I was told no penetrative sex for two weeks due increased risk of infection. I waited for my first period then started trying again. I conceived pretty much immediately, but unfortunately suffered a mc. I didn't even wait for a period after that, fell immediately! It was a very worrying pregnancy, but now have a perfect 5yr old ds.

Fruitbat1980 · 21/01/2017 17:13

The physical side for me was ok, light bleeding, good drugs, no pain, I had a couple days rest. I had failed medical management before the D&c and that was awful so the op was a breeze by comparison. Mentally not
So good. It Hit Me hard. I was told not to TTC till I'd had a negative preganancy test - I'm not sure if for my own sanity or medically. Anyhow I took test 2 weeks after, was negative, I was pregnant 2 months later and beautiful amazing and annoying toddler currently trying to steal phone off me! So sorry for your loss. Everyone else is right, the hard part is the loss, don't worry about the Op. sending best wishesFlowers

Original poster
PollyCazaletWannabe · 21/01/2017 17:15

Thank you all so much. I really appreciate everyone 's responses and am heartened by the positive stories :)

OP posts:
Nicketynac · 21/01/2017 17:23

I had one and it was fine. Some cramping pain afterwards and a bit of spotting but nothing else physical. As PP said you can become very emotional afterwards due to changing hormones but personally I felt much calmer and less teary than I had been leading up to it, I suppose because I was relieved it was finally over (I bled for 13 days before getting D&C).
Docs gave me a suppository in theatre (while I was asleep) which provided pain relief for a few hours afterwards as well. I took paracetamol and ibuprofen when I needed to which wasn't often.
Sorry for your loss xx

Milkmachine15 · 21/01/2017 17:27

I had a MMC in September and didn't really know what to do. My partner wanted the d & c to get it over with but we opted for natural in the end. It actually gave us both a lot of closure and helped us come to terms with our loss. sorry you're having to go through this

JustHappy3 · 21/01/2017 17:28

So sorry for your loss. I'd take the whole week off tbh - you may find yourself all over the place emotionally.
Op itself ok - didn't bleed much afterwards.
Three things i'd have liked to know...
At Bham women's they wanted to insert a pessary to start contractions as it would help prevent scarring. But they sprung that on me and i couldn't cope with contracting on my own - lovely nurse pointed out i could refuse which i did.
The women's ward i was on didn't allow for men to be there so i was on my own. Should have taken my mum/a friend.
Some of the other patients will be having the same procedure because they want it. I am totally pro women's rights but just at that vulnerable moment it took me by surprise. I found the girl's elation in the opposite bed a bit hard to take.

conkerpods · 21/01/2017 17:32

Sorry for your loss OP. I had a MMC and then an ERPC,no pain at all just a bit of bleeding. I even went home on the train afterwards although GA does affect people differently.
We started trying as soon as my period arrived although that took 6 weeks so be prepared.Flowers

BrioLover · 21/01/2017 17:39

I had one before Christmas. It was on the Friday and I went back to work on the Tuesday - probably a bit soon, I had pretty awful cramps after and was very tired. So if you can get signed off till Chinese New Year then do!

I was really nervous beforehand. The two
things that surprised me were the sterility of the operating theatre - lots of big lights and stuff, and also how much it hurt having the general anaesthetic administered. I also had to have an injection after because I'm a resisting negative blood group.

The bleeding lasted for about two weeks after, but very light. Cramping bad for a few days after but sorted with some painkillers generally. Oh and first period three weeks after.

I'm sorry for your loss 💐